


Trash Can For Tumblr Drabbles

by lekhak



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Drabbles, Multi, and some truly pretentious attempts at frick frack writing, basically drabbles from tumblr because im tired of tumblr messing things up for me, lil bit of angst, theres So Much Fluff, truly horrendous attempts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-20
Updated: 2017-02-10
Packaged: 2018-07-25 13:50:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 40
Words: 44,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7535251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lekhak/pseuds/lekhak
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All the wolfstar headcanons/ficlets that I post on <b><a href="http://punkrockprofessor.tumblr.com">@punkrockprofessor</a></b> reposted here because tumblr keeps messing up my read mores and I have had It.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Blogger/Youtuber AU

**Author's Note:**

> **Fair Warning:** If you're looking for good, quality writing, you won't find it here. This is like an easily accessible folder of all my little ramblings. The following drabbles are posted in a chronological order (from the first one I wrote to the latest) and I'm hoping you'll notice a slight change in quality and writing as you go :)
> 
> Also, I'm keeping the bullet points because this wasn't meant to be read without them.

  * Remus has a positivity and acceptance blog called ‘howlingatthemoon’ and Sirius runs a prank Youtube channel with James and Peter called ‘BROTP’. 



 

  * A follower recommends BROTP to Remus and he is _hooked -_ to the channel, to the boy with the night sky hair - same difference. 
  * Whenever he is having an off day, Remus raids the fridge in the apartment he shares with Lily and throws himself on the couch, marathoning videos he has seen a billion times before and rewinding parts where Sirius’s smile is as bright as his namesake and makes embarrassing sounds at the back of his throat. 
  * One day he stumbles upon an interview of James and Sirius on another channel, in which Sirius says, “To me, you have to be really confident and resilient to be a Youtuber because there can be a thousand people telling you that you’re a Greek God and you’d just shrug it off but one person saying you’re really shitty and thats all you can think about. Just yesterday someone said my eyebrows looked a bit wonky and I’ve not been able to look at them the same since.”
  * And Remus is just like
  * Wut? NO. How blind can people be? There have never been more curvy and sensual eyebrows in human history!
  * While Lily is in the background like
  * Are you okay? They’re just eyebrows, no big-
  * **_LILY SHUT YOUR MOUTH OR I WILL SHOVE MY SOCK UP YOUR CAKEHOLE!_**



 

  * Sirius Black has the lowest self esteem to ever exist despite his outward confidence. So whenever he’s having a bad day, he slams the door shut and logs onto his tumblr.
  * He found howlingatthewolf accidentally while looking for positive quotes and fell in love with everything from the description that said, “The Bi says Hi! :)” to the sassy comebacks to stupid anon asks. 
  * Anon: _You are all going to hell! Jesus said Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve_
  * Howlingatthemoon: Well Jesus also said if the only thing coming out of your mouth is bullshit, better keep your trap shut. B)
  * (It has nothing to do with the boy with the sweet, sweet lips and kind, kind eyes. NoooOOoo)
  * Sirius is mindlessly scrolling through the blog when he comes across a post filled with pictures of vaguely familiar eyebrows. Then his heart leaps into his throat. 
  * THOSE ARE MY EYEBROWS OMG I DIDN’T NEED HIM TO SEE THEM THEY ARE MY WEAKEST FEATURE OMG HE PROBABLY THINKS IM UGLY
  * And then he’s blushing because the caption says
  * _These eyebrows are not w o n k y! They are perfection impersonated! They should have a temple of their own, their own religion! They deserve to be worshipped!_
  * Followed by less than decent tags...
  * (so thickeee, look at them curves)
  * His mouth feels dry and his heart is running at a catastrophic speed as he gathers his courage. 



 

  * **Padfoot** says: Hey, I just saw your eyebrow appreciation post and ngl, I cried a little. Thank you so much. Ps-You is kind. 
  * Remus hyperventilated when he realized that padfoot was none other than _Sirius Black himself_ and has to be slapped around a little by Lily before he can gather the guts to respond.
  * **Howlingatthemoon** says: HI OMG YOU WEREN’T SUPPOSED TO SEE THAT. Fuck, I’m so embarrassed now. I promise I’m not some creepy guy okay? (your hands are _divine)_ Ps-You’re hella rad. 
  * **Padfoot** says: It’s okay, don’t be embarrassed. I’m not embarrassed to say that I regularly stalk your selfie tag. Ps - You’re hella cute. 
  * **Howlingatthemoon** says: ARE YOUT RYING TO KILL ME? THOSE ARE SO STUPID. IS IT TOO LATE TO DELETE THE ONE WHERE IM SUGGESTIVELY SUCKING ON A BANANA? Ps-You’re like _hot._ Like, shamelessly hot. I can’t even handle how hot you are. 
  * **Padfoot** says: Are you shitting me? That’s my favourite picture! Not because it’s wank fodder or anything, but because it’s in response to a homophobic comment. I love it when you do that. Ps- Oh hush you. Ps 2- This is inconvinient. 88720881 Message me?



 

  * And they both sound so confident virtually but these nerds are blushing red and biting their lips and giggling like little school girls with every message they share and making their friends roll their eyes
  * “Oh god damn, LILY! He’ seen my pictures! He probably thinks I’m ugly because he is perfect and I’m just..I’m not. Oh look. I am sucking on a banana in this one. And making an even stupider face in this one. I SAID YOLO IN THIS GAWWWDDDD TAKE ME!”
  * “James I can’t breathe, he said I’m hot. James, I’m dying. Prongs, answer me. Am I really hot or is he just trying to make me feel betteR? Prongs! Prongssssssss”



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> COMMENT AND KUDOS = PUMPING MY SELF ESTEEM.


	2. Blogger/Youtuber AU Continued

  * _Do you think it’s okay to stab your best friend a little bit?_
  * Sirius doesn’t know how respond to the text. He doesn’t even know who it’s from.
  * _**Um. I personally don’t take too kindly to being stabbed, even if it’s just a little bit.**_
  * _**Who is this?**_
  * _Oh, fuck, should’ve introduced myself first._
  * _Hi, it’s Remus :)_
  * _I mean. Howlingatthemoon. You probably don’t know my name._
  * _It’s Remus._
  * _My name is, I mean._
  * Sirius’ heart does _not_ flutter and his fingers do _not_ shake. And the thought ‘how do I sound cool and sexy’ absolutely does  _not_ cross his mind because Sirius Black does not need to _sound_ cool and sexy, he _is_ cool and sexy. 
  * **_Oh, I just call you sexy hazel eyed twink in my head._**
  * _**And if your best friend is anything like mine, I can understand your impulse to stab.**_
  * On the other end of London, Lily Evans observes her strange best friend as he squeals and pushes his head under the pillow, convulsing and whining, only to emerge a moment later, all wide eyes and wild hair, to shove his phone in her face. 
  * AM I HALLUCINATING OR DID HE REALLY JUST CALL ME SEXY?
  * _I will have you know that I am a /jock/_



 

  * _**What?! How can you say that? Have you seen the way Steve makes googly eyes at Bucky??? They are SO meant to be.**_
  * _BUT STEVE LOVES TONY WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU_
  * _THEY’RE CONSTANTLY BICKERING LIKE AN OLD MARRIED COUPLE_
  * _STONY ALL THE WAY_
  * _**NOOOOOO STUCKY IS THE BEST**_



 

  * _Honestly, sometimes I wonder why I even talk to you_
  * _Why would you cover James’ clothes in gooey things if you’re not even going to make it look like it’s nosey_
  * _**Nosey?**_
  * _Oh sorry, I mean snot_
  * PETER HE CALLS SNOT NOSEY OMG HE’S SO PRECIOUS I CAN’T EVEN



 

  * _You did WHAT?_
  * _**I ACCIDENALLY SNEEZED ON MY TEACHER’S FACE AND THEN RAN AWAY BECAUSE I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO**_
  * _**OMG I’M SUCH A FAILURE**_
  * _Let me make you feel better about yourself_
  * _I accidentally pushed an old lady down the stairs_
  * _and then_
  * _I burst out crying so hard that she had to calm me down and help /me/ instead of the other way around_
  * _and it wasn’t even pretty crying_
  * _there was snot everywhere_
  * _**Don’t you mean nosey?**_
  * _SHOULDN’T YOU GO APOLOGISE TO YOUR PROF YOU FUCKING LOSER?_



 

  * **_I want to hear your voice._**
  * **_Is that weird? I don’t have very innocent reasons for hearing your voice either._**
  * _....Are you trying to give me an aneurysm? STOP SAYING THINGS LIKE THAT_
  * _**It’s so unfair that I can’t see you blush. Or hear you get flustered.**_
  * **_What do you sound like?_**
  * _Like I’ve just started puberty._
  * **_You also think you look horrible, so forgive me if I don’t trust your judgement._**



 

  * _My sexual orientation is literally your hair._
  * _Everytime I watch your videos I feel like pushing you down on any available flat surface and just running my fingers through your hair._
  * _**JESUS CHRIST**_
  * _Or pulling at them and hearing you make embarrassing sounds._
  * _Mmm. That’s be nice._
  * _**JESUS FUCKING CHRIST SHUSH**_



 

  * _**LETS MEET. WHEN CAN WE MEET.**_
  * _There’s this gay friendly bar in central London if you wanna go there?_
  * _**Woah, I just wanted to meet for a chat but apparently you have gay shenanigans on your mind.**_
  * _...How do I get myself out of this._



 

  * Jamey, does this shirt say ‘hot and sexy’ or ‘I’m desperate for your affection please love me’? 
  * it’s a plAIN BLACK SHIRT SIRIUS JUST GOOOO



 

  * Remus Lupin, if you don’t stop fiddling with your hair in 2 seconds I WILL CUT YOUR HANDS OFF
  * LILYYYYYYY YOU DON’T GET IT! He’s perfect without even trying and I try so hard but I’m not half as good. Maybe I shouldn’t go. You know what? I’m telling him the plan’s off. I can’t do this. What the hell was I thinking-HEY! YOU CAN’T JUST PUSH ME OUT OF MY OWN HOUSE!



 

  * It’s a spiritual experience watching Remus awkwardly stand and fidget near the entry of the bar, trying to locate Sirius. Sirius wants to go to him, or at least wave to indicate where he is, but his muscles seem to have frozen up. Even his lungs aren’t working properly.
  * And then, over the head of a man vomiting his guts out, their eyes meet for the first time. 
  * And it’s like Sirius can breathe again. 
  * “Uh, hi,” Remus says and Sirius wants to melt into a puddle by his feet because his voice sounds like the colour of his eyes, _deep, warm and so_ _ **kind**. _ “So this is awkwar-Umph!”
  * It isn’t till he hears a low moan from Remus that Sirius realises that he has Remus pushed against a wall and is kissing him like he’s been thirsty for the feel of his lips his entire life. And a few other past lives. 
  * When they finally break apart, Sirius is panting while Remus is trying very hard to control his breathing. 
  * “Well, that definitely takes the UST out of the equation,” he says, running his tongue across his already glossy bottom lip, looking so debauched that Sirius can’t help but kiss him again.
  * “What’s UST?” he asks when they’ve managed to pull themselves apart once more.
  * “Unresolved sexual tension,” Remus answers, his cheeks turning an even brighter shade of red. 
  * “Why do you know that?” Sirius is grinning now because finally, _finally,_ he can see Remus blush and get flustered and see how he bites his lips and pulls at the sleeves of his sweater, not meeting Sirius’ eyes.
  * “I must have read it somewhere on the internet.”
  * “Somewhere like..I don’t know, fanfiction.net or archiveofourown?”
  * “WHAT? NO. I’M NOT THAT BIG OF A NERD. I HAVE OTHER THINGS TO DO LIKE HANG OUT WITH MY FRIENDS, GO PARTYING-Okay fine, I read gay superhero porn, sue me.”



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> COMMENT AND KUDOS = PUMPING MY SELF ESTEEM.


	3. Sad, Self Indulgent Ficlet

**WARNING - Mentions of domestic abuse, homophobia, self harm and angst.**

  * “ _Fuck”_
  * Sirius’ entire being felt like it was slowly being dowsed in gasoline and every inch of his body was being set aflame. The earth was shattering and the world was spinning.
  * He arched his neck, letting Remus’ tongue discover pathways he hadn’t known were there, his hands reaching up to grab a fistful of dusty brown hair.
  * It was  t o o  much, everything was happening at once and it was like his brain had slowed down or everything had sped up because he couldn’t. Catch. _Up._
  * He didn’t know what to focus on; the wet heat of Remus’ mouth on his neck, the soft scrape of his own fingers against his boyfriend’s scalp, the _beautiful_ sting of Remus’ nails on the skin above his ribs, his own laboured breathing or the soft little moans of ‘fuck _Sirius’_ against his body. 
  * Weirdly enough, he didn’t feel the hard press of the stone wall against his spine or the wet slime of a rain long gone seeping through his thin shirt...he didn’t hear the footsteps coming towards them. 
  * “ _Sirius!”_
  * A reflex born out of necessity after his years spent in Grimmauld place made Sirius duck and take Remus down with him as a shot of green zipped past where Remus’ head had been a second ago.
  * “ _You!”_ Sirius turned to see his mother storming towards them, shaking with fury, her wand out and pointing at the teenagers. An angry red shot towards them and Remus was the only one with enough presence of mind to block the curse in time, pulling Sirius closer to himself. “ _What_ do you think you’re doing? Get away from him this instance!”
  * Sirius couldn’t believe that just a moment ago, he was feeling too much, and now, just a few seconds later, he couldn’t feel _anything,_ not Moony’s fingers digging into his wrist, trying to keep him close, nor his mothers claws ripping at the skin of his throat and pulling him up by the hair.
  * “Get away from him!” this time, it was Remus who said those words, his hands reaching out to push Walburga away from Padfoot. 
  * And it was his voice that pulled Sirius out of his reverie. 
  * “No!” He shouted at Remus, pushing him away before turning to his mother. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Let him go. I’ll-I’ll come with you, no one will find out about this. Just let him go. Please.”
  * “Padfoot-What? I’m not leaving without you! She’s fucking mental an-” 
  * Sirius pushed him again, “Don’t make this worse. Please go. Please.”
  * Maybe it was the break in his voice or the tears in his eyes, but something made the words get through to Remus and he paused, just breathing hard and looking at Sirius, as if waiting for him to change his mind.
  * “ _Please,”_ the words only a whisper and Remus’ chin wobbled a little before he was backing away.
  * Sirius felt a tug in the centre of his gut and before he knew it, the slimy alleyway walls and grey sky had been replaced by high ceilings and chandeliers. 
  * All he could see was wind blown hair and frightened gold eyes as he heard his mother sneer the word ‘Crucio’.



 

  * When he finally did catch sight of the familiar black hair, Remus couldn’t help but get weak at his knees to hear the laughter accompanying the boy. He hadn’t seen or heard from Sirius since the day in Diagon Alley and had had a hard time staying positive.
  * “Remus!” James Potter shouted when he saw him arriving but Remus’ eyes were preoccupied.
  * Sirius looked exactly the same. High, classy cheekbones and flawless, shiny hair. 
  * But there was a change somewhere deeper.
  * His smile wasn’t as wide and Remus didn’t remember his eyes being that sad.
  * “Hey, mate,” Sirius said, putting a hand out for him to shake and Remus stepped back in surprise. Even before they’d started dating in private, Sirius was all about hugging and invading privacy. “How were your holidays?”
  * “Remus, you wouldn’t _believe_ who Sirius is shagging!” James shouted excitedly and Remus’ world came crashing down as he looked in confusion at the boy he’d fallen in love with. 
  * “I’m _fourteen,_ James,” Sirius said with a small smile, not meeting Remus’ eyes. “I’m not shagging anyone. We’re just going out, that’s it.”
  * “But she’s _fifteen,_ mate. You’re going to be shagging her this year, trust me,” James replied with a smirk, unaware of how just a step away, one of his best friends was dying. 
  * It felt like his heart beat was slowing down with every passing second, like his body had given up, like the air was too thick and the weight of the world too heavy.
  * “Uh-I-I have to-I’m just gonna-” Remus tried so hard to finish that sentence, to look as unaffected as Sirius did, but he _couldn’t._ He just  _couldn't._



 

  * To everyone in Hogwarts, the Marauders were as tight-knit a group as ever. Their fourth year at Hogwarts was once again filled with pranks, late night shenanigans and loud, obnoxious laughter.
  * No one questioned why Remus and Sirius didn’t hug each other anymore, or talk to each other when it was just the two of them, or even  _look_ at each other. 
  * No one questioned why Remus was found disappearing more and more to the library, the weight he’d started to lose and his avoidance of all Sirius’ girlfriends and Sirius himself. 
  * No one questioned why Sirius never stuck to one girl for more than one week, why he started smoking and drinking, why he stayed up late at night, burying his tear soaked face in a sweater Remus had left lying around. 
  * No one questioned why he refused to roll up the sleeves of his shirt anymore.
  * No one questioned why he started practicing healing charms.



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> COMMENT AND KUDOS = PUTTING MY NON EXISTENT KIDS THROUGH COLLEGE.


	4. Redeeming From Sad, Self Indulgent Ficlet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Prompt:**
> 
>  

  * Remus felt like his skin was vibrating, trying to slip right off of him. His fingers were shaking, tapping an unintentional rhythm where they rested on top of the bedside table. 
  * He was a veteran in pain and ways of dealing with it. He couldn't even remember the number of times he’d ripped himself apart, felt the ache deep within his bones as he was forced out of his body. 
  * But this pain. The one he felt in the centre of his chest; spreading to his throat, making swallowing difficult; spreading to his lungs, making breathing _impossible_. This pain, he didn’t know how to deal with. 
  * He let out a shaky breath as his hands reached out to gently caress Sirius’ cheek, the beauty still intact despite the jagged wound running from the edge of his elegant eyebrow to the centre of his upper lip. 
  * “Remus,” the unconscious boy mumbled, somehow recognizing the gentle touch he hadn't felt in the last two years. “Remus,” he said again; the name a whisper, a sigh. 
  * “Sirius,” Remus answered softly; the word a cry, a prayer. 



 

  * “He’s up,” James said, smiling after what felt like an eternity. “Fucking arse,” he added fondly as both Remus and Peter ran up the stairs. 
  * Remus felt a current run through his body when he saw that Sirius was not only awake, but he was _smiling._ Despite his broken arm, despite his scarred face, his bruised body and his crushed soul, he was _smiling_ and Remus felt like he could shout from the Astronomy tower about how happy he was, how _ecstatic._
  * “Miss me?” Sirius said, voice rough from the disuse. 
  * Remus was glad when James pulled them all into a group hug; all body odour and tears, because had he not been constrained by Peter’s pudgy arms around his torso, he probably would have snogged the shit out of Sirius. 



 

  * “I love you. I have loved you since the day you accidentally punched me in the train in our first year,” Sirius said to the mirror, his heart thudding against his ribcage. “I-I messed up, I know that. But I was scared and I was a coward. But I can’t hide this anymore. I’ll go crazy if I don't tell you. I love you, Remus. I _love_ you.”



 

  * “Bit narcissistic, innit mate?” 
  * Sirius turned around so fast, he ended up tripping and crashing into the mirror and Remus laughed even harder. 
  * “I’m sorry, I didn't mean to startle you,” he said as he helped Sirius get up, still grinning. “I didn’t realize you were getting _intimate_ with yourself.”
  * “Shut up, you sod,” Sirius said with a grimace as he dusted himself off. “I wasn’t laying it on myself. I was practicing.”
  * Just like that, Remus’ smile shrivelled up and he took a step away from the dark haired boy, his eyes guarded. “Oh. Are you going to tell Susan you love her? Not that its any of my business. Or that I care. I mean. It’s obvious. You’ve been dating for more than two weeks, that must be a record for you. I’ll just. Let you practice, yeah? I-”
  * “I love you.”
  * A chill ran through Remus’ body and his knees went weak. “D-Don’t fucking do that,” he growled, grabbing Sirius by his shoulders and pushing him against the wall. “You want to practice? Go to James. Or some other bimbo who’s got it in for you. Don’t do this to me. You know how I-You know that I-Just fucking stop, okay?”
  * “I am not practicing for Susan,” Sirius said, clenching his fists around the fabric of Remus’ shirt to keep him from walking away. “I was practicing for you. I love _you._ I have loved you since forever, Remus.”
  * “No, you haven't,” Remus shouted, pushing Sirius away, not caring when he flinched as his head hit the wall. “You walked away, remember? You walked away from me and left me behind. I waited for you, Sirius,” Remus said, hating the tears in his eyes and the quiver in his voice. “I waited for you for so long but you never came back.”
  * “I wanted to,” Sirius replied, his own tears streaming down his face as he walked towards his Moony. “I _never_ wanted to leave you, Moony, but my moth- _Walburga_ said she’d expose you. To everyone. I-I couldn't let that happen, Remus. She would have ruined you.”
  * Remus felt like he was frozen in place, even as Sirius’ hands trailed up and down his sides, his shoulders. Even as he whispered, “I love you” again and again into the skin of his neck, his breath warm against the cold skin. 
  * “You-You did it for me?” he finally whispered. 
  * “I did it for me,” Sirius said, taking Remus’ hand and pressing his cheek into it. “I did it because I’d go crazy if you were thrown out of Hogwarts and I didn’t wake up to you singing as you dressed. Because I’d go _insane_ if I didn’t have you to watch in class, making your stupid, nerdy notes.”
  * Remus laughed, the sound awkward and thick with emotions. “Don’t call my notes stupid or I won’t give them to you next time.”
  * “Give what to me?” Sirius asked, smirking. 
  * “You little piece of shit,” Remus said fondly as he wrapped his arms around Sirius, pressing his face into the crook of his neck. 
  * “ _Give it to me, Remus,”_ Sirius whispered teasingly into the other boy’s ear, making Remus bite him playfully and _hard_ on his neck. “Ow! Calm down, Wolfboy.”



 

  * If anyone asked Remus what the definition of utopia was, he’d tell them it was the feeling of having his boyfriend’s arms wrapped around him at night, the feeling of his lips pressed gently against his and his hand always encased in the heat of Sirius’ hand, whether it was in the hallways or the privacy of their dorm. 
  * If anyone asked Sirius what the definition of happiness was, he’d tell them it was the feeling of waking up to a grumpy, sourwolf’s beautiful face, the feeling of being the reason for his smile and the feeling of hearing him say, “I love you, you shithead”. 



 

  * **BONUS** : “But what if she decides to out me now, Sirius?” Remus asks. “I don't want us to live in secret.”
    * “If that bitch wants me to keep my mouth shut about how she used the Unforgivable on me, she’ll have to keep her mouth shut about you being a beast. In bed. I’m sorry-Remus, don’t be that way. Come back, babe.”



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> COMMENT AND KUDOS = A PUPPY SOMEWHERE WILL SNEEZE ADORABLY.


	5. Tangled AU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Prompt:** "Here is something for you Wolfstar but like with Disney's Tangled. If that don't work I got a terrible AU were Sirius and Remus were babysitting Harry that Halloween and they died. You can play with that! :3"

_AU where Sirius went to Hogwarts before being pulled out of the school in the start of his third year for ‘homeschooling’ because his parents found out he’s gay. Remus never goes to Hogwarts because he’s a werewolf and now he’s a pureblood mugger._

_It’s been three years since Sirius has seen the outside world or talked to anyone that’s not Kreacher._

  * The second time Sirius hears the odd thump sound, he can’t tell whether it was his heart or the intruder. 
  * He had been sitting in the attic like every other day and scratching a figure on the wall with a bit of metal he had managed to hide from his parents and Kreacher when he heard noises from the floor below. For a moment he thought his parents had come home a few days early from their trip to Italy but then he hears an unfamiliar ‘whoop!’, a deep chuckle and something along the lines of ‘loaded like a bitch, these fucking purebloods’ and he freezes up. 
  * He desperately looks about the attic for things that could be used as a weapon when he hears the steps coming closer. He didn’t have his wand, which was taken away after every lesson, and there was nothing apart from a blanket, a broken chair and an empty plate in the room.
  * THE PLATE!
  * He scrambled to get it and just barely managed to push himself against the wall with the iron plate in his hand when he heard a soft ‘alohamora’ and the door opened.



 

  * When he opened his eyes, a loud groan escaped Remus’ lips.
  * The back of his head felt like it had been hammered and the pain was spreading to his neck, which was twisted in a weird direction.
  * But then he noticed that he. couldn’t. m o v e.
  * He was wrapped up and tied in something soft and warm, his arms twisted behind his back. 
  * “Who are you? And how did you get here?”
  * Remus nearly snapped his neck trying to see who the soft, croaky voice belonged to.
  * And froze.
  * In front of him, stood the most handsome guy he had ever seen. He had grey eyes like the centre of a tornado, high cheekbones, a stubbled jaw and, sweet Merlin, long, dark hair that shamelessly framed his face in the most sinful way ever.
  * “What?” Sirius said irritably when the stranger stared at him wide eyed. Three years of isolation and near starvation had made him look like a madman-all bones and dark circles-and he couldn’t tolerate being stared at like he was the most vile thing ever by the most beautiful man he’d ever laid eyes upon. 
  * The question and the tone snapped Remus out of his reverie and he looked down, finding himself tied up in a-
  * “Blanket? Really? Someone breaks into your house, _armed_ , might I add, and you wrap them up in a blanket? You fucking purebloods, I swear to god.”
  * Sirius blushed as he spluttered, “Well, it was all I had, okay? And-You’re in no position to be talking. And if you haven’t noticed, you’re not very armed right now.”
  * Remus’ laughter died and his eyes widened. “My wand! Where is my wand?”
  * A smug smile spread across Sirius’ face and Remus had to push down his attraction to the beautiful boy. “I took it. And hid it where no one will ever be able to find it.”
  * Remus raised an eyebrow at the absurd suggestion. There was only one place in the bare room where something could be hidden. “Is it behind that broke ass chair?”



 

  * The next time Remus opened his eyes, the strange boy was sitting in the corner of the room and there was such a sadness in his eyes that he felt pity rise in an irrational part of his heart. 
  * _Focus, Remus. He doesn’t deserve your fucking pity. He’s a pureblood. He’s had his life handed to him on a golden platter.  
_
  * _Then why does he look so broken?_
  * “If you do that again, pretty boy, I will hurt you.”
  * Sirius looked up in surprise. “‘Pretty boy’? I-My name is Sirius.”
  * “Hi, Sirius. Nice to meet you. I’m the guy that came to _fucking rob you_.”
  * “No need to be crude. I just thought you should know my name now that we’re going to be together for the next two days.”
  * “No, we’re not.”
  * “Yes, we are. You’re taking me out to see Diagon Alley. I’ve been stuck in this house for the last three years and…I miss the noises. The people, the places…” he felt himself digress into his memories and pulled himself back on track. “I want to see it one more time. Then you can return me here before my family returns, I’ll give you your wand back and we’ll never meet again.”
  * “Why can’t you just go yourself?”
  * “I tried,” Sirius said with a scowl, pulling back the sleeves of his shirt and showing how the burn from touching the door of his house had spread from his hands to his forearms. “It doesn’t work.”
  * Remus wanted to hold him. He wanted to ask him who had done that to him. Why someone had done that to him. But he couldn’t get attached. 
  * “Deal.”



 

  * Sunlight. 
  * Sirius hadn’t realized how much he’d missed the sun till he stepped out and felt it warm his skin the way it hadn’t in years. He had missed the wind swivelling through his hair, he had missed the dirty smell of London and _god_ , he had missed the sound of people laughing all around him. 
  * Remus couldn’t stop staring at Sirius. He looked like an excited little puppy that couldn’t get enough of the sites around him. And _god_ , his smile was like the sun itself. 



 

  * “So, out of curiosity, why…haven’t you been out in three years?”
  * “My family…they locked me up. Because…I’m different. I don’t think I should tell you how I’m different.”
  * “What if I go first?” Remus asked and Sirius nodded, stepping closer to Remus as they walked towards Diagon alley. “I’m a werewolf.”
  * Remus carefully watched Sirius’ reaction but there was none. He just nodded solemnly to himself.
  * “Doesn’t that bother you?”
  * “..Well, you’re not a werewolf now. You’re just…a person. And I can’t really run away from you right now. I wouldn’t know how to do anything,” Sirius replied with a smile. “My turn. I…I’ve never said this out loud before…I’m gay. I…like other men.”



 

  * “Yeah, I’m that too.”



 

  * “Don’t we need a wand to get to Diagon Alley?” Sirius asked.
  * “We do but I’m friends with Tom-the bartender. He’ll let us in. I would steal another wand but you wouldn’t believe how easy it is to track wands..I got lucky with my old one,” Remus explained as he waved at the bartender.
  * “Wait, you _stole_ that wand?”
  * “You think the Ministry lets werewolves _buy_ wands?”



 

  * “Oh my god, this is so amazing! I’m so glad I ran away from home! Oh my god, mother would be _furious_! Perfect! I’m so happy. Where do we start? Remus! Remus, where do we start? Should we go to the ice cream parlour? Oh my god, Remus! I didn’t get any money! You don’t look like you don’t have any money either…Can you pick someone’s pocket or something?”
  * “Woah, calm down there, you little mutt. I have a couple galleons actually but that wouldn’t be enough for the little pureblood prince, would it?”
  * “Are you kidding me? That’s like..one bajillion ice cream cones! Perfect!”



 

  * “Remus! Dance with me!” 
  * “No-fucking-way. You are not going to make me dance to the nimbus 89′s jingle-Okay we’re dancing. _Jesus Christ_ , only you could do the salsa to that.”



 

  * “…and then, we ran away with McGonagall chasing after us in her _bathrobes_! It was so hilarious!”
  * Remus clutched at his stomach, laughing so hard that he had tears in his eyes. “God, that sounds amazing. You guys must have been every teacher’s nightmare…School sounds nice. I wish I’d had the opportunity to go to Hogwarts.”
  * “Yeah, it was amazing! I bet we would’ve been best mates too if we went there together…I miss it so much. And James. I wonder if he misses me.”
  * “ _Of course_ he misses you. You’re not easy to forget, are you?”



 

  * “They didn’t feed you for three days? That’s horrible! How the fuck are they even your parents? Parents are meant to love you!”
  * Sirius shrugged, unconsciously running his fingers through Remus’ hair while he lay with his head in Sirius’ lap. “They love their status more.” He smoothed out Remus’ frown, a small smile on his lips. “Don’t get angry. I gave them a lot of shit in return. Once, I set fire to one side of the-”
  * “You should swear more,” Remus said abruptly. “It sounds absolutely _filthy_ in your posh accent.”



 

  * “That one! The really bright one, that’s me. Sirius,” he said, pointing excitedly at the star in the night sky. 
  * But Remus wasn’t listening. He was miles away. Only Sirius. Only he had managed to make Remus look up at the night sky and not care what the moon stood for, to only see the beauty. 
  * “Don’t go back, Sirius,” he blurted out. 
  * Sirius looked down at him and sighed. “I don’t want to, Remus. But where else would I go?” 
  * “You…I can’t take you with me. The place is small, dirty and the people I live with will chew you alive. You’re too…beautiful for my world.”
  * Tears filled the grey clouds of Sirius’ eyes and he looked away, as Remus got up suddenly, surprised. “What’s wrong? Did I say something wrong?”
  * Sirius laughed thickly as Remus grabbed his face in his hands and made him look him straight in the eye. 
  * “No one’s said anything good about me in years. And you don’t stop saying nice things. It…It’s a little overwhelming.”
  * “Well, you are. You are beautiful and smart and…You don’t deserve this. You don’t deserve any of this bullshit. I promise you, I won’t let you go back to those monsters. We’ll find a way out. I promise.”



 

  * Sirius tasted like ice cream. 



 

  * “Um. I’m here to see James? I was his friend in Hogwarts. I don’t know if he came home for winter break but I just wanted to check-”
  * “Sirius?”
  * “James,” Sirius was crying again and he hated it. James looked just the same. Wild hairs and wild eyes where Sirius just looked..wild. “James.”
  * “ _What the hell have they done to you_?” James had water in his eyes too and he was hugging Sirius so hard it was pushing all his sharp bones into James’ skin but he didn’t care because his friend was finally here. “I went to your house every day in the break but they wouldn’t tell me where you were! Then they stopped opening the door for me! I was just making this bomb thing that would break your front door! Come and see!”
  * “James, wait,” Sirius said, stepping back and only then did James see another boy with him. He was tall, scarred, suspiciously fidgety and curiously familiar. “There are some things we should talk about first.”



 

  * “Of course you can stay here, Sirius,” Mrs Potter said, putting a comforting hand on his arm. “We’ll talk to Dumbledore and get you back to Hogwarts too. You’re going to be fine, sweetie.”
  * “Even if…I’m gay?”
  * “Even if you’re dating James, baby.”
  * “We’ll also try and do something for you, Remus,” Mr Potter added. “I know you won’t be allowed in school but I’m sure we can get a private tutor or something.”
  * “Oh, you don’t have-”
  * “We want to,” Mrs Potter said firmly. “You helped Sirius escape and this is our way of thanking you.”
  * “I just got it!” James shouted as he ran up to his room, coming back a moment later, waving a yellowing page in his hand. “I know where I’ve seen you before! You’re all over the town on these ‘Wanted’ posters!”



 

  * “ _Merlin’s saggy tits_ , they just can’t get my nose right!”



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> COMMENT AND KUDOS = KANYE WEST WILL STOP REPRESSING HIS EMOTIONS AND ACTUALLY SMILE.


	6. Comic Con + Stony

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Prompt:** "sirius and remus meet at a con, sirius dressed as iron man, remus dressed as cpt america (U SAID U'D DO IT PAV)"

  * “I have never hated you more in my life than I do in this moment, right here, because I am standing here in this suit, which is fucking uncomfortable might I add, while my life, my sun, my stars is standing there, across the hall, _unapproachable,”_ Sirius said to James, grabbing him by the collars and pushing him away. 
  * “Dude, chill out, you literally just saw him,” James muttered, straightening the collars of his Bruce Banner lab coat. 
  * “ _But look at him, James!_ He is fucking perfect! Look at his beautiful hair, those eyes and _Jesus fucking Christ,_ that ass!” Sirius replied, slumping down on the floor in desperation. 
  * “Then just go talk to him, I’m not stopping you!”
  * “You have ruined things, James! I told you, I fucking _told you_ that I should dress up as Bucky but _nooOOoo,_ you wanted me to be Iron Man so we could be crazy scientists together! Everyone knows it’s Steve and Bucky, and **stony is just an unnatural, unacceptable mix!** ”



 

  * “Lily, I need you to stop looking at him like that, I’ve already marked him as mine,” Remus said, adjusting his shield better.
  * Lily just smirked. “I’m the one dressed as Pepper Potts here, Rem. Besides, I wasn’t looking at the Stark, that’s your type. Mine is that beautiful Bruce Banner.”
  * Remus looked up to see who she was looking at and shrugged. “You always go for the nerdiest of them all.”
  * “And you always go for the ones that look like trouble.”
  * “And like God spent extra time carving every detail of their body to perfection,” Remus replied with a smug smile at Lily before walking purposefully towards where they boys seemed to be bickering. “Just gonna go make my kill.”



 

  * “Is he coming here? James. He. Is he looking at me? Did he just smile _at me?”_ Sirius said, trying and failing to stand back up in all his nervousness. 
  * “God, calm down. Don’t make him run away before you even say hello,” James replied, helping him up. 
  * “Hey,” Remus said, smiling at the Banner before focusing on the sexier of them two and ‘casually’ bitting his lip. “I just saw you from across the hall and can I just say, those costumes are so on-point. Bloody brilliant.”
  * “Thank you,” James responded, not missing how the other boy was checking Sirius out. “I’m James. This is my friend Sirius.”
  * “Nice to meet you,” Remus responded. “My name is Remus. I wa-”
  * “You look beautiful too,” Sirius blurted out, turning an awful shade of red, his face going uncomfortably hot. “I mean-Like. You know, how you said we-we look good. And I think you look hot too-Fuck, I meant. You look good. Too. In your. Steve uniform. I love how..you know, ‘on point’ it is too. Especially the things its doing to your ass. _Fuck._ That was inappropriate. I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
  * “Mate, calm the fuck down,” James hissed before turning to Remus with a mortified expression. “I’m sorry, he’s an idiot. He’s pretty bad at this whole thing. He gets nervous and starts talking out his ass.”
  * Remus just stood there. Shell shocked. He hadn’t expected someone with a face like that to be so shy and awkward. In his experience, beautiful faces came along with conceited personalities. 
  * “I-It’s okay,” Remus said, his smile becoming a little more genuine. “I was pretty bad at it too. M-My best friend taught me..how to chat up lads. Shit. Sorry, that was lame. You’ve returned me to my awkward days. I..I think it’s endearing. That you’re so shy.”
  * Remus’ face was burning up too and Sirius was so hot all over his body, he was shocked he hadn’t yet turned into a puddle while James just smiled at how adorable the too were being. 
  * “Ah, yes, that must be your best friend who taught you how to be so smooth,” James said jokingly, waving at the Pepper Potts who had been closely observing them. “I’ll just go join her while you guys…I don’t know, shake hands or something.”



 

  * “So…” Remus said awkwardly, wringing his hands. What was wrong with him? He’d become so good at being sexy and confident and all of a sudden he couldn’t think past the adorable red of Sirius’ cheeks. 
  * Sirius was staring at his shoes with the concentration suited to complicated theorems. “…I thought you were good at this,” he mumbled.
  * Remus ran a frustrating hand through his hair, sighing. “I was. Goddamn it. I _am_. Okay, let me get back to myself,” he said before breathing in deeply; Sirius looking at him curiously, a small smile on his face. 
  * The next time Remus made eye contact with him, Sirius’ breath got stuck in his throat. Remus’ eyes were hooded and his lips were carved into an absolutely _sinful_  half smirk.
  * Remus slowly and theatrically licked his bottom lip, stepping closer to a wide eyed, panting Sirius and tracing his divine jawline with his fingers and whispering in his ear, “As hot as I think you look as Iron Man, I’d rather have you in a Bucky costume. Let’s get you out of this, hmm?”



 

  * Awkward pause before a frustrated sigh. 
  * “This can’t work if you keep freezing up!”
  * “I LIKE YOUR FRECKLES!”
  * “ _Jesus,_ don’t talk about my freckles, it takes down my sexy quotient!”



 

  * “ I want to… _lick_ your freckles?”
  * “…getting better…”



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> COMMENT AND KUDOS = THE SKY WILL TURN GAY AKA RAINBOWS!!


	7. Sirius Tries To Make His Boo Happy Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Prompt:** "Remus going through a depressed stage and the marauders thinking it was the moon. But when they realize it's not Sirius just does even more stupid stuff in class just to see him smile again. And then after a few weeks remus just whispers his thanks."

  * Everyone knows that Sirius Black hates his family the most. I mean, of course they did, considering he wore a shirt saying ‘I hate my family the most’ for an entire month.
  * But the hatred he doesn’t advertise is the one that makes his blood boil-his hatred for Remus’ frown.
  * It’s not like it doesn’t look good on Remus, _nothing_ looks bad on Remus. But it’s just that the only time Sirius likes to see his eyebrows scrunched up is when he is on top of Sirius and moaning.
  * And everyone knows Sirius Black is not a complainer. He is a doer. 



 

  * “Remmy, wake up, sweetheart,” Sirius said, pushing away Remus’ hair from his face as he stirred with a groan.
  * “‘is ‘oo erry, mphh.”
  * “Remus, baby, English please,” Sirius said with a smile, running his finger through his boyfriend’s soft brown hair. 
  * Remus pushed himself off the bed and squinted at Sirius. “What’s with all the nicknames?”
  * Sirius shrugged, a blush colouring his face. There was no way he was going to admit that he’d read Marlene’s girly mag that suggested using sweet nicknames to make your boyfriend feel loved. “N-Nothing. Just. Wanted to wake you up with something nice.”
  * Remus just frowned. “I wake up to your face everyday. That’s nice enough for me.”
  * “Oh hush you,” Sirius says fondly. “So what can I do for you? Breakfast in bed? Singing? Cuddling? Blowjob?”



 

  * “Sirius, I’m pretty sure one blanket is enough, there is no need to wrap me up in..one, two, _three more,”_ Remus said, befuddled with his boyfriend’s behaviour as he watched Sirius then proceeded to wrap himself around Remus too. 
  * “Shh, I want you to have all the comfort you can get, love.”



 

  * (Heard in the background-”What about our comfort, bitch? How are Peter and I meant to sleep with _no blankets?!?!”_ )
  * (”Stop being a baby, James. Man up and use the hangings on the bed.”)



 

  * “God, James, he’s thinking sad thoughts again. Look at his sad eyes,” Sirius exclaimed.
  * “Sirius, we’re in class, please don’t do something stupid.”



 

  * “ _Yes,_ Sirius, singing ‘[love will keep us together](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0aU57V6VBW0)’ to Slughorn and forcing him to do the cha-cha with you would be considered _extremely stupid.”_



 

  * “Sirius, _no!_ YOU CAN’T DEFEAT THE GIANT SQUID! COME BACK, YOU IDIOT! YOU DON’T NEED TO FIGHT FOR MY LOVE WITH HIM! I’LL STOP FEEDING HIM, JUST COME BACK!”
  * “WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN’T DEFEAT HIM? I’LL SHOW YO-Aaarghhhh! REMUS! SAVE ME!”



 

  * “Sirius,” Remus whispered, eyes wide and wet. 
  * A chill ran down Sirius’ body at seeing the tears in Remus’ eyes and he quickly crossed the space between them, taking his face in his hands. “What’s wrong, babe? Did someone do something? Did _I_ do something? Sometimes, I don’t even realize it and I’m so sorry if it was me-”
  * “Shut up! Shut up, you idiot!” Remus said, grabbing him by the back of his neck and kissing him in a way that made Sirius’ toes curl. “Nothing’s wrong,” he said when he had to stop to breathe again. “I..I was looking through your trunk for my snuffles sweater and I found…You..You’re trying to find a cure for me?”
  * Sirius blushed. “I…I just. The full takes such a toll on you, even a week before, you become so sad and I…it _breaks my heart_ to see you like that, love.”
  * “I-I wasn’t sad because of the full moon, Sirius,” Remus said, a blush making its way from his neck to his cheeks. “I…Oh god, its so unmanly but…I was missing my mom. And…yeah.”
  * “ _Remus!”_ Sirius said, personally offended. “No one that can make me moan the way you do can ever be _unmanly._ Trust me.”
  * Remus chuckled, nuzzling against the warmth of Sirius’ neck.


    * “Speaking of moans…”



 

  * Sirius barely has any comprehension left in him by the time they’re done so it takes him a couple minutes to realise that Remus is talking.
  * “…so lucky with you. I don’t even know how I got you..”
  * “Remus,” Sirius mumbles, pushing himself closer to Moony. “Talk to me when you haven’t just screwed the brain capacity out of me, ‘kay?”
  * Remus grinned, forcing Sirius to look at him before softly and sincerely saying, “Thank you.”
  * Sirius smiled and kissed his boyfriend’s nose before putting his head against Remus’ chest and saying, nonchalantly, “Don’t thank me just yet.”
  * “Please don’t do anything stupid,” a concerned Remus muttered.



 

  * ( _Of course_ it wasn’t stupid to pay off Mundungus to place an illegal portkey at the edge of the dark forest that would take them to Remus’ house a day before the full moon.)



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> COMMENT AND KUDOS = NSA WILL STOP FORCING ME TO COVER MY WEBCAM. (I just want to sit with my quadruple chin hanging out in peace and not being watched by others.)


	8. Seven Minutes In Heaven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Prompt:** "heyYO I have a Wolfstar request. it's a non magical AU that they're at a party  & they get chosen to have seven minutes in heaven but they get really (REALLY) into it that James & Lily start knocking on the door saying it's seven minutes not however long you wanna make it be. & like Remus gets so embarrassed that he grabs Lily & they leave but then a few days later Remus bumps into Sirius & Sirius is like "IT'S THE CUTIE THAT I SNOGGED" oops I got carried away & you can do it only if you wanna <3"

**Warning:** Get's kinda NSFW. 

  * Okay, so yes, Remus had been hoping, praying and _begging_ God that he would end up in the cupboard with Sirius Black, aka Psychology 1200 classmate that he’s never talked to but drooled over quite a lot.
    * _Yes,_ he had placed himself strategically in the circle of drunk uni kids so that the bottle would land on him and Sirius. 
      * **_But he hadn’t expected it to actually happen?????_**
  * And now that he was in the dark, cramped cupboard, his heart attempting to _drive_ itself out of his chest, he hated himself for asking for this. 
  * He was pressed against the hard wood surface, his arms folded behind him in his nervousness, and he could still feel Sirius’ beer flavoured breath on his face, sending tingles up and down his body. 
  * “Er,” Sirius muttered and Remus’ adjusting eyes could see him scratching the back of his neck. “We…We don’t have to do anything. I mean, we could just talk. If-If that’s what you want?”
  * Remus could feel the heat radiating off of Sirius, he could _smell_ his earthy  scent and worst of all, he could see how _earnest_ Sirius looked. 
  * Remus pushed himself off the side of the cupboard with a deep breath, stepping closer to the boy he’d been fantasizing about since _months,_ and put his hands beside Sirius’ head on the closet wall behind him, catching the nervous look in his eyes. 
  * Biting his  bottom lip, Remus smirked. “I don’t trust myself to talk, what with you smelling that _good_.”



 

  * The first press of their lips against each others’ sent Sirius’ body into overdrive. He had never realised that lips could be so sensitive until Remus brought them together in a feather light kiss that sent a shockwave through his entire body. 
  * And then, _Jesus Christ,_ Remus shifted, pressing harder against Sirius’ mouth and his toes _curled._
  * Sirius whimpered, pushing his hands into the other boy’s hair while Remus fisted Sirius’ shirt, pulling him closer. 
  * With a feral growl, Remus bit down on Sirius’ bottom lip, pushing his body against his and Sirius’ knees almost gave out. He moaned, pulling on Remus’ hair as he threw back his head in ecstasy. 
  * Remus peppered the dark haired boy’s jawline with small kisses before biting on the hinge of his jaw and sucking lightly. 
  * “Fuck, you’re _beautiful,”_  he all but growled, his hands pushing past the hem of Sirius’ shirt, trying to feel _everything._
  * His lips settled on Sirius’ collarbone, tongue tracing patterns into his skin as Sirius moaned and writhed underneath his hands and his _sinful_ mouth. He made his way back to his mouth, grabbing Sirius from the nape of his neck and guiding him till their lips once again found each other. 
  * Sirius couldn’t help himself, he wanted to see if Remus tasted as _warm_ as he sounded, and he found himself licking into the other boys mouth; both of them moaning and trying to push themselves closer.
  * When they broke off to breathe, Remus’ eyes were as wild as his hair and Sirius bit his lip at how sexy he looked and launched himself at him again, pushing Remus till he had him cornered. 
  * Their bruising kiss was only broken for a second as Sirius pulled Remus’ shirt off of him and bent down to suck a mark in the centre of his chest. 
  * Remus banged his head against the cupboard so hard, his vision blurred for a second before he could see the shaggy haired guys crazed eyes again. 
  * “God, you’re so hot,” Sirius moaned, kissing all over Remus’ chest before grabbing a handful of his hair and exposing the side of his neck to mark and tease. 
  * “ _Fuck,”_ Remus ground out, his lip bleeding from where he had been biting it to hold in the moans. “Nowhere near as hot you are.”
  * Sirius grabbed his shirt from the hem and tried to pull it off and somehow ended up knocking himself into the locked door of the closet and pulling both of them down to the floor, groaning in pain. 
  * “Shit, I have a kink in my neck,” Remus grumbled, massaging where he had pulled a muscle. 
  * “Not the kind of kinks we should be talking about,” Sirius responded with a grin before pulling him down for another kiss, both of them groaning loudly at the _unimaginably delightful_ ways their bodies pressed together in this new angle. 



 

  * Sirius quite liked having the sexy nerd on top of him, which was why he was quite pissed off when he realized that someone was banging the cupboard door. 
  * And that someone was his best friend. 
  * Who was meant to be on _his side._
  * _“Are you two making babies in there? I’m too young and handsome to be someone’s uncle, Sirius!”_
  * “Shit!” Remus swore, pulling back and reaching for his shirt. “I’m sorry. I forgot-The people! Oh my god, everyone’s gonna know that I-Oh god.”
  * Before he knew what was happening, Sirius was left on the floor of the filthy cupboard, shirtless and warmth-less, and Remus was rushing out of the closet. 
  * He barely had the brain cells to process that Remus was embarrassed as he watched him grab his red-headed best friend and walk out as everyone chanted, “Nineteen minutes!” and clapped.



 

  * “Smoochy boy!” Sirius shouted with a grin as he ran to catch up with Remus who was speed walking _away_ from him. “How’s it going?”
  * “Leave me alone, Sirius.”
  * “Oh, so you know my name, huh? Well, it _is_ quite appropriate considering you’ve seen me naked.”
  * Huffing, Remus halted to glare at the shorter boy. “You were hardly naked. I barely got to see you shirtless before I had to leave.”
  * Sirius smirked, stepping closer and purposefully biting his lip _just so._ “You sound bitter about that,” he said, running a finger along Remus’ jawline and leaning forward till his lips were level with the other boy’s ear. “I know a great cupboard we could get into. I’m willing to show you more than just my torso if you’re willing to kiss me the way you did last night.”
  * When he leaned back, he was pleased to see the corners of Remus’ lips turned up as he shook his head. 
  * “You little shit,” Remus said. “I’m not as slutty as I may have come across yesterday. Buy me dinner and you can have my kisses.”
  * “Deal,” Sirius replied as an army of butterflies stomped around in his stomach. 



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> COMMENT AND KUDOS = my skin will stop breaking out.


	9. i d e k AU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Prompt:** "WOLFSTAR AU BASED ON THE SONG FALLING SLOWLY THANKS PAV ILY"

  * “N-No! Stay away!” Remus shouted at the approaching figure, pushing himself against the Shack’s wall, his body still wracking with tremors of the painful change. 
  * “Remus,” a calm voice answered and Remus felt his body relax automatically despite the fact that his muddled brain just couldn’t match the voice with a face. “It’s okay. It’s just me. Sirius. Are you okay? Are you hurt?”
  * Sirius. 
  * The name…He’d said it a million times. The silver, stormy eyes, the dark long hair, the freckle beneath his bottom lip…Remus had seen it all so many times but he couldn’t remember anything related to the boy apart from a deep fondness that seemed almost instinctual. 
  * “I can’t-I can’t remember. What’s…Sirius. You’re…my friend?” Remus asked, grabbing fistfuls of his hair in his frustration and rocking on the hard floor. The wolf had left his body only a minute ago but the boy had still not returned to it completely. 
  * Sirius crouched in front of him, putting his hands gently on Remus’ and taking them away from his hair, a pained smile on his face. “Your boyfriend,” he replied. “I chased you relentlessly till you gave in to my charm.”
  * Remus stilled. “B-Boyfriend? Wh-Why?” Tears clouded his eyes, the colour of which was slowly returning from a piercing golden to a warm brown, as he tried to move away from a hurt Sirius. “I’m a monster. Why would you want to be with me?”
  * Sirius’ heart clenched in his chest and his throat ached. “You’re _not_ a monster, Moons. You’re _Moony.”_
  * Anger flashed in Remus’ eyes as he pushed Sirius hard enough to make him topple to the ground. “Do you see _this?”_ he hissed, pushing his hands in Sirius’ face. “Do you see the blood stuck in my nails? I kill things! I ruin beautiful things! Stay away from me, or I’ll end up ruining you too.”
  * Sirius pushed himself into a standing position, Remus attempting to do the same, only to be pushed down on the creaky bed in the corner of the room by Sirius. 
  * “Stay down, you asshole. You’re bleeding everywhere. And that’s whose blood it is, Remus. _Your own,”_ Sirius said, his momentary anger disappearing just as fast at the look of confusion in Remus’ eyes as he looked down at his battered and bruised body. 
  * Sirius breathed in deeply before sitting down next to the gentle, broken boy and taking his hands in his own. “You could never hurt anyone else, babe,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper as he pushed back Remus’ sweat soaked fringe away from his face. “You’re too Hufflepuff for that sort of thing. You’re kind and caring and the wolf is _not_ you. You will not _ruin_ me. You’re the only thing holding me together.”
  * Remus felt a sob escape his lips and Sirius grabbed him by the shoulders, pulling him to his chest and whispering, “It’s okay, everything’s okay,” till his shirt was soaked and Remus had calmed down. 



 

  * The stench of the Shack filled Remus’ nose when he woke up, groaning at how his body ached all over when he felt a hand smooth its way up and down his back and a quiet voice whispering, “Shh, it’s alright.”
  *  Remus turned around quickly to see Sirius lying on his side next to Remus and his face broke into a grin. “What are you doing here? You silly sod, why’d you stay here with me? I would understand if you wanted to go back to the castle.”
  * Sirius blinked sleepily and pressed a gentle kiss to Remus’ lips. “You’re okay,” he breathed out, embarrassing tears stinging his eyes. 
  * “Of course I am,” Remus replied, frowning in concern and holding Sirius’ face in his hands. “What’s wrong, Pads? Did something happen last night? Oh god, where are James and Peter? Did I hurt them?”
  * Sirius sniffed, hiding his face in the crook of Remus’ neck. “They went back right after ‘cause they were tired,” he said. 
  * “So why are you crying? Sirius, you’re scaring me.”
  * “You couldn’t remember who I was, Remus. And you kept saying tha-that I should stay away from you because you’re a monster.”
  * Remus froze before gently running his fingers through his boyfriends’ hair. “Well, it’s true, love.”
  * Sirius pushed himself away from Remus, anger lighting up his eyes. “How can you-Why would you say that Remus? I _love_ you. You’re the most amazing and strong person I’ve ever met. You’re kind to _everyone,_ you say thank you and please more than necessary and you’re _vegetarian because you felt bad for animals_ for fuck’s sake! The only person you hurt is yourself! You’ve been through so much shit and yet, you’re constantly _beating yourself down_ and I can’t just stand and watch that!”
  * Frustrated because Remus still didn’t seem to believe him, Sirius pushed himself against Remus, pulling the other boy in a bruising kiss. 
  * “I _love_ you and sometimes, I feel like if I didn’t have you, I’d just fall apart,” Sirius whispered, clinging desperately to Remus. 
  * “If I lost you, I don’t think I’d survive,” Remus said, pressing a kiss into his boyfriend’s shoulder.



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> COMMENT AND KUDOS = I'll get the perfect sized jeans every time I go shopping.


	10. Remus Thinks Sirius Is Dating Tonks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Prompt:** "au in which remus always sees sirius around with nymphadora, but doesn't know they're cousins, so he feels conflicted liking this guy because he's probably married to the love of his life and they have a kid together"

  * There is a moment, just before the end of Sirius’ shift when he becomes restless, and it is borderline creepy that Remus watches him enough to notice. 
  * He sees how Sirius’ usually polite smile becomes almost maniacal with excitement that he can go home soon, watches as the boy _power walks_ up and down the aisles, sometimes breaking into random pirouettes and horrible Backstreet Boys songs. 
  * On one particularly tragic day, Remus walked into the furniture aisle to find Sirius singing tunelessly to _[Show Me The Meaning Of Being Lonely](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBt8fN7mJNg) _ as he placed something on the bottom shelf, his bum moving sensually to the tune he’d created himself. 
  * (Remus had to run away. Fast. Before embarrassing ‘tenting’ happened.)
  * He loves how he enters the shop for his shift, five minutes late, his hair all over the place but still perfect, kicks the door close and _winks_ at Remus, who is always on time and in his place behind the counter, and smirks around a confident, ‘Wotcher, Moony’. 
  * He loves how _one embarrassing and stupid pantsing_ incident, he has started calling Remus, ‘Moony’, because of his ‘startlingly milk white butt’. 
  * Some days they get so caught up talking to each other that they forget all about their work. He loves their conversations. He loves how they range from the weather to the ‘fucking capitalists’, from the dogs on the streets to the stars in the sky. 



 

  * But Remus just watches. And appreciates. 



 

  * Because Sirius Black does not belong to him. He belongs to a fierce pink haired woman in similar leather jackets and biker boots, who tells jokes that make Sirius tear up and kisses his cheek with adoration whenever she comes to meet him. 
  * He _hates_ how perfect they are for each other. 
  * Nymphadora aka Tonks is such a nice person that it physically hurts Remus to be such a bitch to her but _he can’t help it._
  * She’ll enter the shop with the same kick to the door and the same ‘Wotcher, Remus’ but he would pretend to be too busy to respond and then feel guilty about it afterwards. 
  * Tonks doesn’t seem to notice, but what she does see is the way both the idiots skirt around each other, obviously wanting more than just friendship but too scared to initiate anything. 
  * So she decided to take matters in her own hands.



 

  * “Hey, Remmy boy,” she says as she perches on the countertop. 
  * “Don’t call me that.”
  * *Ignores* “So. I’ve seen the way you look at Sirius. Wanna talk about it?”
  * Remus feels his blood freeze in his veins, his eyes wide as he sputters and heaves. “I’m so sorry-Fuck, I couldn’t help it. He is pretty fetching. Shit. No. That’s not. I’m so fucking sorry. I tried, okay? _I tried not to but I couldn’t-”_
  * “Oh, wow,” Tonks says with a smile. “I didn’t know you were that smitten. It’s okay. I won’t tell him, you don’t have to worry. He can be a bit of a dunderhead, even though he _is_ my favourite cousin.”
  * “ _What? Your cousin?? And you’re **dating** him? _Isn’t that weird and _incestuous?_ I mean, I’d heard about the Black family and the whole inbreeding thing, but I honestly thought you both were different and-Why are you laughing? This is not funny, it’s horrific!”
  * But Tonks was on the floor, unable to breathe, wave after wave of laughter crashing into her, making her stomach hurt. She tried getting up and explaining to Remus but she just. couldn’t. stop. laughing. 
  * When she does manage to stop crying from mirth, she grabs Remus by the shoulders and tells him that they are _not_ dating and they  _couldn’t_ date because 1) they’re not into incest 2) Sirius is too busy writing sonnets about Remus Lupin and his Wonderful Milky Arse to be with anyone else. 



 

  * When Remus and Sirius find the courage to out their feelings to each other and start dating, Tonks of course tells Sirius about the incident, making Remus blush a bright red.
  * He endures a lifetime of incest jokes. 
  * “Remus, you can’t use the salt and the pepper at the same time, that’s practically _incest.”_



 

  * But its worth it. 



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> COMMENT AND KUDOS = I will attempt to lick my elbow.


	11. Fluff. Just that. Fluff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Prompt:** "Ooh so for the requests: Wolfstar your hair is on my desk oh wow it’s so pretty wait how did i end up playing with your hair"

  * “Sleep,” Remus says quietly, gently rubbing Sirius’ back and watching his eyes droop. “You can share my notes.”
  * Sirius nods sleepily, nesting his head on top of his folded arms, while Slughorn drones on and on in the background. Remus can see James raise an eyebrow but he just shakes his head.
  * The thing is, Remus knows that Sirius has trouble sleeping. He spends his day pranking and frolicking, but his nights are spent studying because, although he has physically escaped Grimmauld Place, he returns right back to that horrible place with the people he has been forced to call family at night. 
  * Remus feels pity bubble deep inside his chest, his throat closing in over itself as he watches the boy sleep. 
  * His eyes slide over the smooth eyebrows, resting now from a day spent scrunching in laughter, down to the long, straight nose that he inherited from his mother, before coming to rest on the red pouty lips. 
  * Those lips have been the cause of Remus’ own sleepless nights since the fourth year. He doesn’t remember _why_ it happened, but suddenly, Remus found himself enthralled by the soft curve of Sirius’ bottom lip and how it would go pale for a second when Sirius bit it before returning to its shamelessly bright red colour.
  * Somehow, he ended up placing his head on the table too, fingers slowly reaching out to trace the cupid’s bow shape of Sirius’ lips. 
  * Remus felt infinitely pale in comparison to the beautiful boy. His lips were always pale and bitten, his eyes a boring brown as compared to the thunderstorm grey of Sirius’ own eyes, his hair a watered-down straw colour to Sirius’ beautiful, night sky hair.
  * His finger travelled from the soft lips to the high cheekbones, moving upwards to gently caress the soft skin of Sirius’ eyelids and watched them flutter slightly. 
  * He placed his hand on Sirius’ cheek, feeling the nice warm feeling slowly spreading from his hand to his entire body as he traced the perfect curve of his eyebrow, dark against pale skin.
  * He wondered when he’d stop thinking of Sirius as just his best friend, when he’d stopped being just a mother-hen to Sirius. When things had become _more._
    * At least for him, they had. 
  * Remus pushed Sirius’ fringe away from his forehead and ended up slipping his fingers into the dark, smooth hair; a thousand tiny explosions occurring across the skin of his hand at the feeling of the velvety strands slipping through his fingers.
  * He pressed the tips of his fingers to Sirius’ scalp, caressed the skin of his forehead, ran his fingers through the hair like he’d imagined a _billion times._
  * He was so lost in the intimate feeling that it took him a while to realize that those stormy eyes were watching him carefully, a small smile playing on the corners of those beautiful, pouty lips. 
  * Remus gasped, the quiet moment broken, every sound and noise crashing back down on him as he straightened in his chair. “S-Sorry.”
  * “No,” Sirius said, his voice husky as he took Remus’ hand and placed it back on his head, giving him his best smile. “I like it.”
  * Remus gave a nervous grin. “Such a dog.”
  * But it wasn’t the same. Remus was painfully aware of how weird the whole situation was and how James had been staring at them both from his seat. He wanted the Earth to split open and swallow him and his stupid, gay urges up. 
  * As soon as class ended, Remus snatched back his hand and started slowly packing his bag, wanting everyone to leave so he could breathe properly for a second but unfortunately, Sirius stayed behind. 
  * When he turned to get up, Sirius placed his hand on Remus’ shoulder and leaned forward to place a small, innocent kiss on his lips. Nothing more than a gentle press of lips against lips. 
  * When he pulled back, Sirius’ ears were glowing red and he said, shyly, “Thank you. That was very relaxing.”
  * But Remus couldn’t hear it. 
    * His entire face was buzzing and his entire body was _on fire._



 

  * Even though Sirius started sleeping better, arms and legs wrapped firmly around Remus, he continued pushing his head into the other boy’s lap for regular head massages. 



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> COMMENT AND KUDOS = Authors will collectively forget how to write love triangles.


	12. Co Workers AU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Prompt:** "Also, a headcanon request. Wolfstar Coworkers in a office AU? (can be either muggle or non-muggle AU)"

**Warning:** Slightly and not graphically NSFW towards the end. 

  * “Fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck,” Remus chanted under his breath, cursing his stupid, shaking hands as he tried to unjam the printer. 
  * He inhaled a long, calming breath, leaning against the wall opposite the printer in the small cramped room, trying to stop his shaking hands. Of course, he would jam the huge, industrial printer on his very first day at work. It was just his luck. 
  * “Hey, are you done using the printer? I need to-Damn, is it jammed again?” 
  * Remus turned to see Sirius, the guy who had given him the tour of the office building earlier, and he hated himself for being so close to tears. 
  * “Uh, I don’t know how to..unjam it,” he said, taking deep breaths in between words. 
  * “Oh, it okay, I can do it,” he said, folding his sleeves up and reaching towards the printer. “God, I hate being in this room. Reminds me of the horrible sex I had here.” He shuddered dramatically but when he heard no response from the light haired man, he turned around to see how embarrassed and scared Remus looked and gave him a kind smile. “Hey, it’s okay. Everyone does it.”
  * Remus smiled, a shivering breath escaping his lips as he ran his hands through his hair. “The sex in the printer room or jamming the printer like an impotent loser on my very first day at work?”
  * Sirius rolled his eyes. “The jamming the printer thing, smart arse. And I can assure you, it’s not your fault. It’s this stupid, primordial bit of junk,” he grit out as he pulled the paper out of the rollers with force.
  * And Remus’ throat went dry at how the muscles in Sirius’ forearms flexed  and strained, how he could _see_ the muscles in his back tensing and relaxing through his _tight_ white shirt. 
  * “Hah! There we go,” Sirius exclaimed as he pulled the jammed paper free but then froze when he saw the other man’s gaze lingering on his body, his eyes dark, before Remus flushed, taking the pages from Sirius.
  * “Thanks,” Remus muttered, looking at the floor as he shuffled out of the printer room, leaving a dazed (and slightly turned on) Sirius behind. 



 

  * “Stop drooling.”
  * Immediately, Sirius wiped at his mouth with the back of his hand, making his best friend snicker. 
  * Sirius scowled. “I am _not_ drooling, you prat.”
  * “Well, but you _are_ staring and I don’t want you to get your head bashed in _again_ because you groped a straight guy’s arse,” James said, clicking away at his computer, not paying attention to Sirius’ deepening scowl. 
  * “It was _one_ time,” he said before turning his gaze back to where Remus had been bent over his desk, trying to find something that had dropped behind his desk for the last five minutes. “Besides, he is definitely not straight. You should have seen the way he was looking at me.”
  * “He is straight, mate,” James said before grinning. “Hey, that rhymed! Anyway, his ex girlfriend came to meet him yesterday. Quite a character. Had bright green hair.”
  * “B-But, _James,”_ Sirius moaned in despair. “He has such a beautiful arse! What’s the point of giving someone such a fine arse if he’s going to be straight? Why, God, _why_?”
  * “Whose arse are we lamenting?” Remus asked, suddenly appearing beside Sirius and James’ shared cubicle, an amused smile on his face. 
  * “Uh, this guy,” Sirius said stupidly. 
  * Remus waited for him to elaborate before grinning. “Well, go on. Admiring a good arse is possibly the only thing that could cheer me up today.”
  * “You’re _gay?”_ James exclaimed, eyes wide. 
  * Remus narrowed his eyes, taking a small, involuntary step back. “Bi. Is that a problem?”
  * “No!” Sirius nearly shouted in his excitement, pushing himself to his feet. “That is fantastic! It’s bloody perfect, in fact. I am super gay too. Homo totalum. It’s perfect, really.”
  * James rolled his eyes at his best friend, turning back to his work. “If you guys are going to discuss arses, please go away from here. I just ate.”



 

  * “Sirius, are you done with those spreadsheets?” Remus asked, eyes focused on the checklist in his hands. He needed to collect the spreadsheets from all the third floor workers and check them for mistakes by 4. He sighed, bemoaning the state his back would be left in after all the work, when he caught Sirius staring open-mouthed at him from the corner of his eye. 
  * He turned to the dark haired boy, smirking and raising a brow at Sirius, who blushed and cleared his throat. 
  * “Uh, what were you saying?”
  * “The spreadsheets?”
  * “Spread?”
  * Remus guffawed at the other boy’s one track mind and shook his head. “The spread. _Sheet_. Sirius,” he reiterated slowly, still grinning. “The one you were meant to submit by 2?”
  * “Oh, uh, yeah, here,” Sirius responded, his blush deepening as he fumbled around for the papers. 
  * Remus took them from Sirius, intentionally letting his fingers graze the other boy’s wrist, and winking at him before he left. 



 

  * “Lupin, you need to stop,” James said angrily as he mopped up the remains of the tea Sirius had spilled because Remus had made a less than decent comment. “He is losing his mind.”
  * Remus laughed, remembering the look on Sirius’ face when he had made a ‘hard’ joke. “I am waiting for him to snap. Plus, it’s so fun to watch him do stupid things.”
  * “It is, but I am sick of correcting his work or reminding him how to use a _fucking computer_ because your ‘fine arse’ has dazzled him,” James muttered. 
  * “Fine, fine,” Remus said, rolling his eyes. “I’ll end the torture.”



 

  * “Hey, Sirius, could you please help me with the jam?” Sirius heard Remus call from the printer room.
  * His feet halted at the door of the room because once again, Remus Bloody Tease Lupin was bent down, fumbling with the paper in the feeder tray and, _holy shit,_ he was wearing those horrible, horrible brown pants again. The one that _wrapped_ themselves around his butt and strong thighs in the most evil way possible. 
  * Sirius growled, making Remus look around in surprise. “Take those pants off. I am going to burn them and smoke the ashes. And, _Jesus Christ,_ do you always have to be bent over? What is _with_ that? Do you have a bending over fetish?” he ranted, feeling his tightly wound frustration spilling out of him.
  * The surprise melted away from Remus’ face and self-satisfied smile took its place as he walked past Sirius to shut the door behind him. Sirius gulped, his bravado lost once more. 
  * “I do have a thing for bending people over and having my way with them,” Remus said, running his hand up and down Sirius’ sides and cocking his head, eyes wide with feigned innocence. “Do you want to indulge me?” 



 

  * “God, this is so unfair,” Sirius muttered, still breathing hard as he lay on the cold, hard floor, Remus curled next to him in the cramped space. “I couldn’t enter this place without feeling nauseous before and now I won’t be able to come here without getting a hard on.”



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> COMMENT AND KUDOS = My sense of humour will improve because I will take Sense Of Humour classes, using my kudos currency.


	13. Angsty Fluff is a thing and this is it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Prompt:** "Okay I was wondering if you could write a thing about Sirius or Remus constantly being told by their parents that what they're feeling and who they are is stupid or something like that. Then they meet each other somehow, and they don't fix all the problems these words have made but maybe they understand and they tell them it's okay because it is. I dunno, something like that?"

**Pro tip:** Read it dramatically for full impact :) 

  * Remus had never felt comfortable inside his body. 
  * He _couldn’t_ ; not when he knew that it would betray him each month without fail. 
  * Not when his body was a mangled mess of scars that he couldn’t hide, wounds that no one could see and bones that stuck out of his skin, as if they were trying to escape him too. 
  * He never felt _at home_ in his house. 
  * Not with his mother giving him tight lipped smiles, not with his father reassuring him that he loved him, not with both of them acting as if they didn’t pray _every. single. day._ that their son had died that day. 
  * Not when he felt like he really _had_ died that day. 
  * Remus didn’t understand how to be happy. 
  * He knew how to _act_ happy; something with showing teeth, curving lips and crinkling eyes. 
  * Pretending was easy. But _feeling._ Feeling was hard. 
  * Or maybe it wasn’t hard for everybody else. 
  * Because not everybody housed a demon in their veins. Not everybody fought with a _monster_ trying to claw its way out of their bodies.
  * He never knew what it felt like to _belong_ anywhere. 



 

  * Sirius didn’t know how to love himself. 
  * How could he? With his mother sending poisonous smiles his way over the dinner table, smiles that turned to curses with every glass of wine she downed. 
  * How could he? With his father calling him a waste of space, a disappointment, _a fucking liability._
  * He didn’t know how to love anybody else. 
  * How could he? When he had never known what love was like, when he had never felt the warmth of arms wrapped around your body. 
  * He had only known the breathless, cold of hands wrapped around your throat. Of the pinch like pain of claws digging into your skin. The _blinding_ agony of a curse lighting every nerve on fire, chewing on every bone in your body. 
  * He never knew what it felt like to feel _safe_ anywhere. 



 

  * But when Sirius traced Remus’ scars with the tips of his fingers, following up with the hot heat of his mouth; Remus felt _beautiful._ He felt like he was going to _explode_ with the sheer intensity of happiness inside him. Like, the golden warmth was going to expand and expand and expand till he floated right off the surface of earth. 
  * And their hands would find each other under the bench in the middle of class, and Remus would feel like he _belonged_ , like he had a place in the world, and it was right here, in the spaces between Sirius’ fingers.



 

  * But when Remus laughed at Sirius’ stupid jokes or widened his golden, golden eyes at one of Sirius’ stupid prank ideas, calling him a ‘clever pup’ jokingly, Sirius felt as if he could vaguely like himself. How could he _not_ when it was _his_ jokes that made Remus _smile._ And then Remus would pull him for a sudden kiss and Sirius would feel his entire body go _haywire_ and Sirius realizes that _this,_ this is what all those sappy novels are talking about.
  * And Sirius would smile softly when Remus would brush his hair out of his eyes, leaning forward to press their lips together, knowing that no one could hurt him, not when he was surrounded by the warmth of Remus’ love. 
  * Not when they had each other. 



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> COMMENT AND KUDOS = I'll start sleeping on time.


	14. Street Artist!Sirius

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Prompt:** "Wolfstar AU where Sirius is a street artist who paints portraits and Remus stops to get his portrait painted pretty please"

  * “You can do this, you sad little avocado,” Remus whispered fiercely to himself as he forced his feet to walk across the street where the Man of his Dreams was painting what appeared to be a massive red blob. 
  * It had been a month since Remus’ job had got him to London and nearly three weeks since he had started pausing everyday on his way to work to admire the Artist. 
  * The Artist was a man with an obviously fit body under the tight, _tight_ clothes he refused to stop wearing, long hair that curled naturally around his face, lighting up in shades of browns and reds and blacks when the sun hit the strands just so. 
  * Initially it had been his obvious, and quite frankly, in-your-face kind of outward beauty that had attracted Remus, but slowly, it had become more about the passion; the way his dark eyebrows furrowed as he worked his long, elegant fingers, sometimes twirling a paint brush between them as he thought. 
  * For someone who worked as a businessman in training, passion was new. Something Remus had always craved but never been brave enough to actually let himself _feel._
  * He paused when the tips of his shoes hit the slightly elevated pavement and only moved when an angry Brit honked for him to ‘get the fuck off the road’. He mumbled an apology and straightened his coat before looking straight into amused grey eyes.
  * “Uh,” Remus said intelligently. “Those are beautiful,” he said, waving at all the paintings of landscapes mixed with portraits that were lined up against the wall. 
  * An elegant dark eyebrow went up at that. “These?” the man asked in a voice that was deeper than Remus had imagined. “These are rubbish. Anyone could make those.”
  * “No, I am certain that only someone with great talent would be able to paint such beautiful things,” Remus replied, unsure of any other way to respond. 
  * The Artist pulled up one end of his lips, a half smirk that would have looked ridiculous if Remus had tried it but looked sexy on him. “Uh huh? Tell me then. What is it that you find so beautiful about them?”
  * Remus froze up. He knew next to _nothing_ about painting. For fuck’s sake, he didn’t even remember which colours were the primary colours and which were the secondary. 
  * “The, um,” he started, swallowing audibly, making the other man’s half moon of a smile turn bigger, wider. “I love the…how the. You really capture the beauty of…things, you know.” 
  * He could feel himself turning the exact shade of the blob on the Artist’s canvas. “The textures are…stunning. Absolutely stunning,” he tried again before moving to a landscape. “The lighting is perfect in this one.”
  * “You don’t know shit about this, do ya?”  
  * Remus thought his head was going to actually explode, right here on the streets of London. Maybe if he painted the canvases with his exploded innards, it would prove that he did indeed know something about painting. 
  * “No, I don’t. Not really,” he answered a moment later, biting down on his bottom lip in his embarrassment. 
  * The answer was only a deep chuckle. “And I can attest to that statement,” the Artist responded before stepping closer and putting forward his hand. “I’m Sirius.”
  * “H-Hi. I’m Remus.”
  * “Pleasure to meet you, Remus,” Sirius answered, smiling sweetly. “You have beautiful eyes.”
  * Remus averted his gaze self consciously before mumbling, “They are brown. The most ordinary colour in the world.”
  * “Ah, see, that is where you’re wrong,” Sirius answered, pausing till Remus looked him in the eye again. “It’s the colour of warmth and comfort and a deep, eternal kind of love. How can that be ordinary?”
  * Blushing even harder, Remus once again turned to look at the portrait of an old lady somewhere behind Sirius’ left shoulder while the other man laughed. 
  * “Besides, my compliments are true. Yours, however, are fake and have no backing up of actual facts,” Sirius said.
  * “No, they are not. Your paintings truly are brilliant. Your landscapes are all of real places but you somehow make them more…magical,” Remus said, remembering what he’d thought the first time he’d seen Sirius, as well as his work. “And your portraits. They’re…ordinary people but you make them seem so… _interesting_ and _extraordinary._ It’s amazing.”
  * When he looked at Sirius again, he was pleased to see that their positions had been reversed and it was the other man that looked flustered now. 
  * “I could do _you,”_ Sirius said hurriedly after a long pause, making Remus sputter and choke on oxygen. “No, no, no, that’s not what I meant! I meant. I could paint you. I would…If you’re okay with it, I mean, I would like to paint you.”
  * Remus was _not_ okay with it. He didn’t need to be reminded of how plain he looked, didn’t need _Sirius_ to look at him for too long and realise he wasn’t worth painting anyway. 
  * “I would actually just like to watch you,” he said instead.
  * “ _Watch_ me?” Sirius repeated, looking oddly and evilly amused.
  * “Watch you _paint,”_ Remus blushed. “Watch you paint something. Anything.”
  * “Alright. Take a seat,” he said, grinning and pushing a chair towards Remus as he settled himself on his stool. 
  * Remus settled back, completely overlooking his job that he was horrendously late for, and watched Sirius pick up a discarded paint brush. 
  * “So what are you painting?” he asked a moment later, watching Sirius trying to shape the red blob.
  * “A person, though I don’t know whom yet,” Sirius answered, not taking his eyes off the canvas.
  * “But…but it’s red.”
  * Sirius did turn around then, giving Remus a small, secret smile before leaning in. “That’s the good thing about art. It doesn’t matter what things look like, you paint what you _feel,”_ he said, raising a hand to Remus’ cheek and running his thumb along the ugly scar that ran from his eyebrow to his lip. 
  * “The flesh is just the flesh, Remus,” he whispered, hand lowering to place itself in the centre of Remus’ chest. “The heart is where you truly are.”
  * Remus was sure Sirius could feel his heart trying to drum its way out of his chest, but he didn’t care. Not with Sirius looking at him like he was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. 
  * Sirius cleared his throat then, leaning away from Remus, his cheeks tinged with pink. “And that’s what we try to capture with art. The heart.”
  * Remus grinned. “Keep talking. Your words are almost as good as your art.”



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> COMMENT AND KUDOS = I'll also start waking up on time.


	15. Drunk Sirius Makes An Ass Of Himself AU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No one prompted me but I wrote this anyway :)

  * _In his defense,_ Sirius had been drunk off his arse. 
  * Why wouldn’t he be? It was his _twenty fourth_ birthday and James and Peter had organised a smashing surprise party in his honour at their shared apartment, inviting more than fifty people over. 
  * He was so drunk, in fact, that when Lily rolled in a _five tiered,_ massive cake, each layer a different colour and undoubtedly a different flavour, Sirius nearly burst out crying. 
  * But his tears were staved off when the most _fit_ man he had ever set eyes upon appeared from behind Lily and the cake. Not only did this Beautiful, Gorgeous, Piping Hot, Literal-Drop-Of-Sunshine man have the most sexy body ever, he was also clad in an extremely form fitting cop costume, one that accentuated his lightly muscled body in the most unfair manner ever.
  * Sirius’ eyes widened and he was about to turn around to shout at James that _no, it doesn’t matter that I literally want to pounce on him, James, I_ told _you, no strippers!_ when the man decided to remove his police hat and Sirius went weak everywhere in his body. 
  * _He had curly hair and an_ undercut. 
  * Sirius was royally and totally _fucked._
  * So of course Sirius forced his fumbling, drunk hands to pull up a chair and settled down in it, watching the man frown. 
  * “I would’ve preferred it if you had jumped out of the cake, but damn, I’ll take this too,” he said, bouncing his knees up and down in excitement. 
  * He vaguely registered someone turning off the music and James hissing, “ _Padfoot!”_ but his addled brain could only focus on one thing, or rather, _person_ , at a time. 
  * “Why’d you turn the music off? Who strips without music? it’s not nearly as fun,” Sirius complained, turning around to glare at the nearest person, who just happened to be a very alarmed Peter. 
  * He was about to ask Peter why he had that face on when the most deep and _delicious_ voice said, “ _Excuse me?”_
  * _“Jesus Christ,”_ Sirius mumbled. “How is this fair? Not only do you look like-...like, _that,_ but you also have sex voice!”
  * Sirius hadn’t _meant_ to say that out loud, but his regret stopped instantly when he saw a bright pink blush work its way up from somewhere underneath the Hot Stripper’s collar to the tips of his ears. 
  * He cleared his throat and Sirius could see him struggle to hide his adorable embarrassment. “I’m not a stripper,” he said. 



 

  * Sirius’ heart thudded again at how fucking wonderful his voice was and it took him exactly 47 seconds to register what had just been said. 
  * “What.”
  * “I _said,_ I am not a fucking stripper,” the Hot Not-Stripper growled, turning an impossible shade of red. 
  * Sirius blinked. “Of course you are.”
  * “Fucking hell,” he heard the other man mutter before he turned to the people behind him with an exasperated sigh. “Is someone here sober?”
  * There was a pause before James stepped forward and said, “Yes, O-Officer. I am sorry, its his birthday so he’s a bit out of it.”
  * “Yes, whatever,” the officer snapped, obviously uncomfortable. “Just keep your volume down, we’ve had two complaints from your neighbours within the last half an hour.”
  * “Yes, of course. Sorry,” James rushed to answer and the cop spared Sirius one awkward glance before he turned around and left. 



 

  * “Did I honestly just do that?” Sirius’ voice broke the silence of the apartment and everyone broke out laughing at the same time, causing Sirius to groan and hide his burning face behind his hands. “I am _never_ drinking again!” 
  * James clapped him on the shoulder, chuckling along with everyone else, admonishing him fondly. 
  * “I have to go apologise,” Sirius said firmly a second later and all the people within hearing distance instantly froze and gave him a Look. “What?” he said defensively. “I am an adult and this is how adults _function._ We apologise for being asshats.”
  * James gave him a suspicious look. “Are you just saying this so we let you go and flirt with him?”
  * “What?” Sirius repeated, dramatically putting a hand on his chest. “I don’t know what you take me for, James Potter, but I am not going to hit on a man that could possibly be straight.”
  * No one looked convinced but they didn’t stop him when he tried to rush after the officer without tripping down the stairs.



 

  * “You can stop laughing now,” Remus said to Frank, his fellow cop (he refused to call the bastard a ‘friend’), who had done nothing to save Remus from the embarrassment upstairs. No one had even _noticed_ Frank standing a step away from Remus. It wasn’t fair. 
  * “I can’t!” Frank gasped out. “Your face! It was priceless!”
  * Remus rolled his eyes, putting his hat back on as they exited the apartment building when-
  * “Officer Not-Stripper!”
  * Frank laughed so hard, he had to lean on the railings while Remus turned around with a deep sense of Impending Doom. 
  * The man with the frankly _unbelievable_ hair and _out of this world_ eyes stood a step away from him, panting and-no, Remus, don’t look too closely at those slightly parted, red lips. 
  * “It’s Remus. Officer Remus Lupin,” Remus grumbled. 
  * “Officer Lupin,” the other man said, looking incredible pleased for some reason. “I’m Sirius. I just...I wanted to apologise. For assuming. I shouldn’t have. It’s just. Aren’t cops meant to be...I don’t know. _Old?_ With pot bellies? The only hot as _fuck_ people in those uniforms that I’ve seen are strippers, so-Fuck, what am I _saying_?”
  * Remus could feel his face turning red again but he felt helpless against the other man’s- _Sirius’_ ramblings. 
  * “I just meant-What are you _doing?”_ Sirius said suddenly, sounding a bit panicky. 
  * Remus’ eyes widened, confused. “Taking off my hat?” He _had_ to. His entire body felt too hot. 
  * “No! Put it back on! I am already wayyyy too drunk for this conversation and I won’t be able to-Fuck. It’s already happening. I can’t concentrate. Your bloody hair is distracting me,” Sirius muttered, covering his eyes. 
  * “Sorry,” Remus replied, flushing harder and putting the hat back on. 
  * “Are you covered?” Sirius asked, hands still over his eyes. 
  * “I am decent,” Remus said drily and Sirius grinned, making his heart thud painfully against his ribcage. 
  * “So yeah,” Sirius said awkwardly, shuffling from one foot to another. “Sorry. You’re too hot, I’m too drunk and that happened.”
  * “Okay,” Remus said, his insides turning to mush at how adorable Sirius looked when he didn’t know what to do with himself. 
  * “Okay,” he felt himself repeat before he made a ‘just-a-second’ gesture towards Sirius before getting a pen from his patrol car. 
  * “Give me your hand,” he said to Sirius and scribbled down his number on the stunned boy’s arm. “Call me when you’re sober and we can talk about manners when talking to the cops. Or, you know, how to flirt.”
  * Sirius turned red, scratching the back of his neck. “I am the _best_ at flirting.”
  * Remus just raised an eyebrow and Sirius straightened his shoulders at the challenge. 
  * “Are you google? Because you’re everything that I’m looking for.”
  * Frank and Remus both collapsed against the railing after that. 



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> COMMENT AND KUDOS = I'll also start getting out of bed before 4pm :)


	16. Drunk Sirius Makes An Ass Of Himself While Testing Remus' Patience

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No one prompted me but I wrote this anyway :)

  * “Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?”
  * Silence. 
  * “Was that an earthquake or did you just rock my world?”
  * Deep breath. 
  * “You look a lot like my next boyfriend.”
  * ....
  * “Let’s play hockey. I’ll be the net and you can score.”
  * “ _Oh my god,”_ Remus exclaimed, a surprised laughter escaping him before he could stop himself. He had been trying _so hard_ not to encourage Sirius, who was now grinning like a hyena. 
  * “Th’nk god,” he slurred. “I w’s beginning to think you will never respond. My self eshteem-estrem- _esteem_ was really dying there, Remus.”
  * Remus cocked his head, smiling fondly. “I’m sure your ego would CPR it right back to life.”
  * “Wanna know a secret?” Sirius asked, leaning forward and swaying slightly. “I don’t have any ego or self esteem,” he whispered, his Firewhisky smelling breath washing over Remus. “I just pretend I do.”
  * Remus cupped the side of Sirius’ face, pushing him back a little so he wasn’t swaying as dangerously on the kitchen chair. “I know, love.”
  * “You know _everything,”_ Sirius nearly shouted, throwing his hands out in a way that nearly ended up toppling him but Remus caught him just in time. “How do you know everything?”
  * “I don’t know everything,” he answered, running his hands gently through Sirius’ smooth hair. “I just know _you._ I know how you hide your feelings behind your stupid humour, I know how destructive you are to _yourself_ , and how you love with all your soul. All the things that make you my favourite person on earth.”
  * “Then why won’t you get _picked up_ by my _pick up lines?”_ Sirius whined, pouting in a way that made Remus want to bite and suck on those beautiful, red, full lips.
  * “Because you already _have_ me, you big, gay idiot,” he answered, rolling his eyes when Sirius gasped dramatically, once again nearly falling off his chair. 
  * “You mean you-But that can’t be-Are you messing wi’ me, Moony?”
  * “No, I mean it. You’ve always had me.”
  * Sirius blinked slowly. “Do you love me?” he asked hesitantly, as if he already knew the answer would be no but he wanted to hear it anyway. 
  * Remus just pressed a soft kiss to Sirius’ lips, whispering a soft, “So much, babe,” before pulling Sirius towards his room. 
  * Once Sirius was safely tucked away, Remus sat down next to him, holding his hand and waiting for him to fall asleep. 
  * “Remus?” he asked sleepily five minutes later.
  * “Yes, Pads?”
  * “One day, I am going to marry you.”
  * Remus’ heart clenched inside his chest as he pressed another kiss to Sirius’ forehead, tears clouding his vision for a second. 



 

  * When Sirius started snoring, Remus softly pulled his hand away from his grasp and went over to his study table to write a short letter. 
  * _James Fucking Potter,  
_
  * _Be glad that he is so adorable when he is drunk or I would have fucking castrated you for sending him an_ _ **entire bottle of Firewhisky** when you know what a light weight Sirius is! That is not how you ask for someone’s forgiveness for setting their hair on fire! (He’s forgiven you, by the way. Talked for forty minutes about what an amazing friend you are.)_
  * _Remus_
  * _Ps - I don’t know if I should be offended that he keeps forgetting that we’re married, or flattered that he keeps asking me to marry him?_



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> COMMENT AND KUDOS = A kitten somewhere will get a hug.


	17. So Much Gay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Prompt:** "You still taking hc requests? Can you make one about Remus and Sirius both being openly gay but they aren't together and they're alone in the back of the library when it happens"

The library element is missing but ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

  * “ _No!”_ Sirius exclaimed, eyes wide and hands clamped against his mouth to muffle his helpless giggles. 
  * “ _Yes,”_ Remus pressed, looking gleeful. “And _then,_ she grabbed my _entire ass_ , right there in front of my parents and made jokes about how I liked it when she plays with my ‘buns.’”
  * “Oh my god,” Sirius gasped, trying to stifle his laughter as Madam Pince sent another sharp glance his way. “Oh god,” he repeated, trying to take in large breaths. “How do we always end up picking the weirdoes?”
  * Remus shook his head, chuckling. “I have no idea. God, the worst was when I went out with that Ravenclaw, Julius, and he kept sneezing all over me,” he said with a shudder. “I mean, I get it, not his fault that he is allergic to almost _everything_ , but he could at least learn how to cover his mouth before squirting germs all over me.”
  * “But you can’t win this game, Remipoo,” Sirius said with a smirk, eyes playful. “Because _I_ was asked by Nathan to call him… _Daddy.”_
  * _“No!”_ Remus nearly shouted, lowering his volume halfway through and grabbing a laughing Sirius by the shoulders. “No way! B-but. Oh my god, _did you do it?”_
  * _“_ Of course not!” Sirius answered, scowling. “What do you take me for? I can barely stand having one father, I do _not_ need two.”
  * Remus shuddered again. “You know what? There needs to be a book- or at least a _pamphlet-_ about how to find the right people. I am so sick of going out with all shades of people, only to end up coming back disappointed.”
  * “You mean coming back to snuggle with me and making me feed you stolen ice cream?” Sirius asked, smiling fondly. 
  * “Um? It’s not stolen if the house elves give it to you willingly,” Remus said with an equally fond smile, feeling a strong, inexplicable urge to pounce across the table and hugging Sirius _hard._
  * There was a short, companionable silence as they both tried to scribble down another two sentences of their potions essay before Sirius spoke up again.
  * “How would you define the ‘right person’ for you?” he asked, cocking his head in his adorable, Padfoot way, which only served to increase the pounce-hug-never-let-go feeling that was surging through Remus. 
  * “Funny,” Remus said immediately because what was the point in being with someone who couldn’t even make you laugh? “Clever, mouthy, sarcastic, loyal and honest. Someone who isn’t put off by the idea of pranking others,” he added, rolling his eyes when Sirius nodded hard at that. “Someone who understands me completely. Deep, growley voices, _ugh._ Oh, and definitely dark haired. I also have such a weakness for-”
  * Abruptly, he stopped, only just stopping himself from saying ‘long hair that feel like silk beneath your fingers and are sometimes tied up in buns.’ Heart thundering hard in his chest, he realised that he was basically describing Sirius. Who the hell _other_ than Sirius had a voice that could be described as _growley?_
  * “Weakness for?” Sirius prompted, looking cluelessly attentive. 
  * “Lips,” Remus said hastily and unthinkingly. “I have a weakness for lips. And you know, how they can be used to…to _talk._ And eat. And stuff.”
  * Sirius raised an eyebrow in amusement. “Oh, I’m _sure_ you like it when people use their lips for ‘stuff.’”
  * Going for nonchalance, Remus slapped Sirius’ shoulder. “Get your brain out of the gutter,” he said, rolling his eyes. “What about you? What do you look for in a suitable partner?”
  * “Um, never really sat down to think about it,” Sirius answered, frowning adorably as he thought. “Obviously, funny and open to pranks. Someone who is super smart and can make even _Arithmancy_ seem interesting,” he continued. 
  * “It _is_ interesting,” Remus grumbled. 
  * “Someone who can hold his own in a fight against _anyone,_ who is _gorgeous_ but doesn’t even realise it because, honestly, we _both_ can’t be completely conceited,” he said with a wink, making Remus snort. “Someone who…” Sirius’ voice faded off, his face sobering up as he licked his lips. 
  * “Who?” Remus asked eagerly. 
  * “Who loves so completely and recklessly that he forgives _every mistake_ I make, even when I don’t stop making mistakes, even when I don’t deserve it,” Sirius finished, blushing and looking down in embarrassment. 
  * Remus swallowed, suddenly realising that maybe Sirius wasn’t talking about an imaginary ideal person either. That maybe…
  * “Sirius,” he said hesitantly and paused till the other boy finally looked him in the eye. “Who…Who are you talking about?”
  * Face turning impossibly red, Sirius turned his gaze away again, the muscles in his jaw clenching. “You know who.”
  * “Well, I wouldn’t know otherwise, but I am pretty sure Voldemort doesn’t have a very good sense of humour,” he said drily and Sirius let out a startled laugh. 
  * “I meant-I- _You._ I am talking about _you,”_ Sirius said suddenly and Remus’ heart thudded hard against his ribs, as if trying to push Remus across the table and into Sirius’ arms. “But it’s okay. You don’t have to date me just because you know I have a crush on you now. I know I’m not clever or-or good enough. It’s okay.”
  * For a moment, all Remus could do was stare.
  * “Are you for real right now?” he asked a moment later and Sirius just frowned in confusion. 
  * “ _I_ am not good enough for _you._ I mean, have you _seen_ yourself? You’re the most hilarious person _ever_ and what the fuck do you mean you’re not clever enough? You’re literally my only competition in Transfiguration and Defense and all our greatest pranks were planned out by you. You’re so, so _loyal_ and _brave._ No one could ever be like you, Sirius,” he said, only stopping once he was completely out of breath and physically could not go on. 
  * “You…Does that mean…” Remus was so tempted to start laughing at how shocked and bewildered Sirius looked, at how much he looked like his alter-ego when he was completely perplexed about what was going on. 
  * “You idiotic piece of shit,” Remus found himself saying with a small laugh before he finally allowed himself to fling himself across the damned table and pulling Sirius into a kiss that ended in three ruined books and double detention.
  * But it was worth it. 



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> COMMENT AND KUDOS = I will learn dance moves other than the noodle arm, the sprinkler and the "I tried to belly dance but dislocated my entire hip."


	18. I wrote crack NSFW. Yes, that's a thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Prompt:** "If you're taking requests can you do WolfStar smut :/"

**Disclaimer:** I, in no way, am making fun of the person who sent me the request. Rather, the joke is on me. I am the joke. 

  * Remus was horny. He grabbed [Sirius’ ta la la and Sirius’ ding ding dong](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VmQsv4p5W2M) sang with pleasure. He put a finger in his [chocolate starfish](http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/10818853-fifty-shades-of-grey) and then replaced it with his [Big Ben.](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/93/Clock_Tower_-_Palace_of_Westminster,_London_-_May_2007.jpg) 
  * “Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,” Sirius moaned, back arching. “[You put your thingie in my thingie](https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6829556/1/My-Immortal)!” he screamed. 
  * “Feels so good!” Remus shouted as he tried to stop himself from BURSTING inside his lover’s [rusty bullet hole.](http://onlineslangdictionary.com/meaning-definition-of/rusty-bullet-hole) 
  * Sirius could feel Remus holding himself off so he screeched, “[Just do it,](http://www.nike.com/ca/en_gb/?cp=gsns_kw_txt!g!c!br!e!nike&k_clickid=944cb154-3d68-45fd-ba9b-18d02beafc18) Remus! Fill me with your love juice!”
  * “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” Remus vociferated as he BLEW UP inside of Sirius. 



 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> COMMENT AND KUDOS = I'll name my future kid Kudos Comment, irrespective of gender.


	19. Theorizing about Remus' Patronus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Question:** "yay! Ok: so the thing I was wondering is what you think Lupin's happy memory was when he used the patronus charm to save Harry from the dementors on the train. Cause, there were a good amount of them, and I assume that there were more on other cars and he went to go sort that too. (for some reason I think that there were an unwisely small number of adults on that train to deal with it) It'd have to be a very powerful happy memory so which do you think it was? Also, of course you can post it!  <3"

UM forgive me if this is scattered and confused, most my things are:

What I think is that even after he’s been bitten and his life takes a complete turn, his parents still love him to bits. His mother still coddles and cuddles him, and his father tries to compensate for his guilt by putting his everything into Remus and driving them into poverty trying to find a cure for him. _And that is the thing._ They love him, but they love with a hope to cure him and to _fix_ him. They don’t love him as he is. They don’t _accept_ him, don’t accept that the wolf is now a part of Remus. And if they can’t love the whole of Remus, what’s the point really?

Every person that he meets in his life likes him on a condition. The friends he makes at Hogwarts like him only because they’re in the dark about who he really is. The professors and Dumbledore himself care for him out of a sense of pity. His own parents only love him as long as they treat half of him like a disease, something broken, something to be mended. 

I think Remus’ happiest memory, the one strong enough to repel multiple dementors, would be the memory of watching Sirius, James and Peter turn into Padfoot, Prongs and Wormtail for the first time ever, of feeling a gentle warmth burning through his entire body because _they did this for_ me. They didn’t try to fix him, didn’t try to overlook the wolf in Remus like his parents did just so they could keep on loving him, didn’t do this for the _poor, helpless, little boy._ They did it because they _accepted_ him and wanted to always be there for him and because they loved him as is. No conditions apply. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> COMMENT AND KUDOS = to bribe me into writing more B)


	20. Oblivious Fools

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No one prompted me but I wrote this anyway because I'm a real Rebel ™

  * Now that James had pointed it out, Remus couldn’t believe he hadn’t noticed it before. 
  * Remus had always just assumed that Sirius’ need to always be near Remus, to always touch him or to just _look_ at him grew from the puppy half of his brain and that he did it to everyone. 
  * That was until James had sighed loudly and repeatedly till he had gotten Remus’ attention and said, “Why are you both so _oblivious?”_
  * _“_ What do you mean?” Remus had asked without much interest, wanting nothing more than to go back to brainstorming a getaway plan for the Yellow-Lace-Panties-For-All-Slytherins prank. 
  * “You and _Sirius,”_ James had nearly whined, grabbing Remus’ face in both hands. “You both need to stop _pining._ The air is thick with all your disgusting mush-mush and you both don’t even _see_ it!” 
  * Remus just frowned. “What are you even talking about? Who the hell is pining?” 
  * “You both-Well, not you as much, but _Sirius,”_ James said and this time it was definitely a whine. “He’s always making heart eyes at you and running around you and mothering you and _I cannot take it,_ Remus. I can’t take his stupid, big puppy eyes, how can you be so heartless?”
  * Remus was very, very confused. Everyone knew that Remus dabbled with all sexes, but Sirius was completely and disgustingly _straight._ Moreover, Remus was pretty sure that Sirius had never seen Remus as anything other than a friend, even though Remus had often thought about what _more_ they could be as Sirius had worried over him after every full moon. 
  * “James, I am pretty sure you’ve got your wires crossed because Sirius is straight,” Remus had reasoned. “At least, our Sirius is. Which Sirius are you talking about?” 
  * “How many Siriuses do you know, Moony?” James had answered in an irritated tone before forcibly turning Remus’ head so he made eye contact with Sirius who had seemingly been staring at him all along. “He’s still looking. He’s surrounded by three beautiful girls and he is staring at you. Not very straight of him.”
  * “Maybe he’s just worried about you wringing my neck like a bloody chicken,” Remus snapped, slapping away James’ hands. 
  * James had just glared and huffed before getting up. “ _Fine._ Peter told me it was useless to tell you but I thought as a Marauder, it was my duty to inform the sensible one out of you both about all the _hormones_ you both release around each other. Your choice if you want to continue being a dumbass.” 
  * As much as Remus tried to act nonchalant about it, he couldn’t help but wonder _what if._
  * Shaking his head, Remus bent his head and set to work again. He had enough problems to deal with without throwing a broken heart in the mix too. 



 

  * Sirius was in Remus’  _lap._
  * Somewhere during stealing cookies from the kitchen and coming to sit in front of the fire in the common room, Remus’ lap had materialized underneath Sirius’ surprisingly soft butt - or was it the other way around? He had no recollection. 
  * But now _Sirius was in his lap_ and he wouldn’t stop _moving._
  * What was worrying was that Remus hadn’t even noticed how... _intimate_ they both were being, Sirius leaning back into Remus’ warmth and Remus putting his chin on Sirius’ shoulder, till James had given Remus a very loaded and significant look, coupled with some rapid eyebrow movements. 
  * _Oh my god, do we do this all the time?_ Remus thought worriedly, suddenly hyperaware of Sirius’ body pressed so firmly against his and how he kept _shaking_ with laughter, which was going to cause very embarrassing problems for Remus any minute now. 
  * Abruptly, he pushed himself off the armchair, accidentally throwing a baffled Sirius down to the floor. 
  * Eyes wide, he didn’t even offer to pick Sirius off the floor. “Um. Sleepy. Goodnight.” 
  * And he _ran._



 

  * Remus had always assumed that his lycanthropy would kill him; either through direct, self-mutilating ways or through indirect, couldn’t-find-a-job-now-I’m-starving ways. 
  * But as more and more days went by, he realized that it was _Sirius_ who was going to kill him. 
  * Sirius with his beautiful, dark hair and his beautiful, grey eyes and his beautiful, gorgeous _everything._
  * His stupid, perfect _everything_ that was currently rubbing all up against Maddy, a fifth-year Ravenclaw that Sirius had been on and off with for the last few months. Remus couldn’t find it in himself to dislike Maddy, she was too sweet and too kind. 
  * But that day he learnt something about himself: that he was a conniving asshole who didn’t know how to deal with jealousy. 
  * “Sirius?” he called out into their dorm, acting as if he hadn’t seen the other two making out in Sirius’ bed till Sirius looked up to see Remus in the doorway. Remus widened his eyes dramatically. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry! I didn’t see you guys! I didn’t mean to intrude! I’ll just-”
  * “No, no, it’s fine,”  Sirius said, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand while Maddy blushed prettily behind him. “Did you want something?”
  * “No, I just,” Remus stuttered. _Fuck._ He hadn’t planned this far. “I needed some help with the-the map?” he said, winging it. “The third floor kept disappearing and I wanted to see if you knew-but it’s okay. We can talk later.”
  * “No, it’s no problem,” Maddy said before Sirius could. “I was just leaving anyway,” she said, looking at him as if she was seeing him for the first time. 



 

  * “Sweet little Moony, sat on a horse,” Sirius sang, his voice still hoarse from trying to keep up with the wolf’s howling, fingers carding through Remus’ damp hair. “Up the hill he went, pacing down the...gorse.”
  * Remus chuckled, shifting so his neck wasn’t bent so awkwardly on his pillow. The full moon a night ago had not been kind. He was sore everywhere and he had a pretty bad gash on his back that refused to stop bleeding. 
  * “That’s not even a word,” he whispered, trying not to wake James and Peter who were sleeping soundly in their own beds while Sirius sang his version of lullabies to Remus. 
  * “Yes, it is,” Sirius replied, smiling down at him. “I’m pretty sure it’s like a tree or something.”
  * “Still doesn’t make sense,” Remus replied with a smile, poking at Sirius’ cheek when he yawned. “You should go to sleep.”
  * “Will _you_ go to sleep?” Sirius countered.
  * “I’ll try my best,” he answered. “I’m pretty sure your awful singing will do nothing to soothe me to sleep.”
  * “ _Hey,”_ Sirius said, affronted. “It works every time.”
  * “No, it doesn’t. I just pretend to sleep so you’ll shut up,” Remus teased and Sirius bared his teeth playfully, Padfoot-style. 
  * “Don’t be _too_ thankful for all my help, Moony,” Sirius said sarcastically, bending down to kiss him on the forehead and mumbling a soft “g‘night” before going back to his bed. 
  * Remus didn’t sleep. He _couldn’t._ All he could think about was what this... _thing_ between Remus and Sirius was. He was constantly _pining_ after Sirius now, craving his touches and his company, not knowing where this was going or if it was even going _anywhere._
  * He wished he was strong enough confront Sirius about it. 
  * Instead he just suffered in silence.  



 

  * Remus had been on edge all week. He had realized that his feelings for Sirius went way beyond simple friendship and other kids’ normal bullying about his scars and the state of his clothes was effecting him more than it ever did. 
  * Because what he had always brushed off as juvenile cruelty now sounded very much like the truth. 
  * _Who would date a guy who looked like_ that?
  * Honestly, who would? 
  * Sirius was perfect in every sense of the world, he could have anyone he wanted, could probably make a _goddess_ fall in love with him with just a wink; and Remus was this awkward package of bones packed tight beneath scarred flesh. How could he have possibly even _imagined_ that Sirius was interested in him?
  * Running a hand through his hair, Remus turned around to catch Sirius’ eye across the class. He was frowning, as if he had sensed Remus’ distress all the way over there and was concerned. 
  * And now Remus was angry. Because Sirius needed to stop acting as if he gave a shit, as if he _wanted_ Remus, he needed to stop stringing him along. Remus was tired of thinking that he had a chance when he had nothing. 



 

  * “Remus, stop avoiding me,” Sirius said, blocking Remus’ way out of the abandoned classroom he had been hiding in.  
  * “I’m avoiding everyone,” he grumbled, looking at Sirius’ forehead instead of his eyes. 
  * “Well, I am not everyone,” Sirius said, pushing Remus back into the class and shutting the door behind him. “ _Talk_ to me. What’s going on with you?”
  * “Nothing,” he said, biting hard into his bottom lip to stop it from trembling. When he looked up at Sirius again, the other boy was completely spaced out, eyes fixed on Remus’ mouth and Remus couldn’t help but feel angry. 
  * Giving himself no chance to back out, Remus rushed towards Sirius, pushing him back against the door and kissed him _hard_. 
  * Sirius let out a weird ‘mwmmp’ sound, freezing up for a second before he relaxed, letting Remus bite and pull at his bottom lip before sucking on it softly. He let his hands rub Remus’ sides, feeling him shudder as he moved upwards to tangle his fingers in the other boy’s curly, soft hair. 
  * Where Remus was angry and rough, Sirius was soft, moaning and caressing till Remus stopped rushing, till the kiss slowed down to something sweeter, something gentler. 
  * Remus pulled back abruptly, eyes wide and disbelieving at what he had just done. He was frustrated, for sure, but he had never wanted to risk his friendship with Sirius for this. 
  * Breathing hard and arms still wrapped around Sirius’ waist, he gulped in sudden awkwardness and slight fear. “Um...no homo?” he asked tentatively. 
  * Sirius gave him a toothy grin, pulling him back down by his hair and whispering, “So homo,” into his ear. 



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> COMMENT AND KUDOS = I'll tell you hella lame jokes.


	21. Flowershop AU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No one prompted me but I wrote this anyway because ain't nobody gonna stop me from writing mushy bullshit.

[or the one where Sirius is an incompetent loser that can’t ask a guy out. ](http://punkrockprofessor.tumblr.com/post/141621211929/flower-shop-aus)

  * “Remus!” Peter exclaimed, slapping him on the chest with increasing velocity and excitement. “Remus! He’s here! He’s walking here! He’s opening the door! Remus, he’s- _Ow!_ ”
  * Remus pinched Peter hard on the arm before he could announce the fact that Sirius had now reached the counter _in front of Sirius_ and then turned around to give Sirius his best smile. 
  * “Hey Sirius,” he said, discreetly pushing Peter away. “How are you doing today?”
  * “Good,” Sirius answered in his usual happy tone, running a hand through his hair before dropping it on the counter, Remus’ eyes trailing the tattooed arm. “How are you?”
  * “I’m good now that you’re here to grace my day,” Remus replied. He had given up on subtlety long ago, deciding that he would have to take a head-on approach to flirting with Sirius since he didn’t seem to grasp why Remus always gave him discounts for his purchases and fluttered his eyelashes at him. 
  * Sirius blushed, tips of his ears tinged adorably pink and ruffled his hair again. “Um. So. W-what flowers do you recommend today?” 
  * It had become a game between the two of them. 
  * Sirius would come to the shop at least twice a week, they would exchange pleasantries, talk about the weather if they’re feeling particularly talkative and then Sirius would ask him what flowers Remus recommended. 
  * “Hmm,” Remus said dramatically, finger tapping his chin in thought. “What _do_ I recommend?” 
  * He stepped out of the counter, walking towards the shelves filled with a variety of beautiful and fragrant flowers, Sirius following him immediately.
  * “You could buy these [Bee Orchids](http://www.glaucus.org.uk/BOrchid077.jpg) if you want to brighten someone’s day,” he said in a sing-song tone. “Or I could make you a bouquet out of [wood anemone](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/23/Wood_Anemone,_Anemone_Nemorosa.jpg) and [rosebay willowherb](http://www.woolcottandsmith.com/press/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/The-magnificent-rosebay-willowherb-bumble-bees-love-it.jpg), if you want to apologise to someone, soften the harsh words that you said,” he continued, smiling at Sirius as he stopped in front of the vase filled with red roses. 
  * “ _Or,”_  he said, pulling out a single red rose and holding it out to Sirius. “You could buy a red rose to confess your feelings for the one that you love.” 
  * Sirius grinned, his cheeks nearly as red as the rose, as he delicately took the rose out of Remus’ fingers. “I’ll take this, please.”



 

  * Once Sirius had payed and left with a wink and a “Bye, my favourite florist!”, Remus slumped against the counter, barely managing to hold himself back from repeatedly hitting his head against the counter. 
  * A warm hand settled between his shoulder blades, patting him. “It’s alright, mate,” Peter said sympathetically. “You’ll get him one day.”
  * “No, I won’t,” Remus whined pathetically. “He comes here every week to buy flowers for his _lover._ I am not getting him _ever.”_
  * _“_ Don’t say that,” Peter said with a frown. “What if he walks home to give his lover the rose and _catches them having nasty frickle frackle with someone else?”_
  * Remus straightened up to stare at his best friend. 
  * “Inside that stupid Hawaiian shirt that you refuse to stop wearing even in three-bloody-degrees, resides a cruel, cold and evil man.”



 

  * For once in his life, Remus wasn’t waiting on Sirius to come to the shop. He was too emerged in the book he was reading to notice someone stand in front of the counter, looking at him and smiling. 
  * “Must be one hell of a book to distract you from me,” a familiar voice said and Remus grinned, looking up to meet Sirius’ storm-grey eyes. 
  * “Well, hello, my favourite customer,” Remus greeted, putting the book away and leaning forward.
  * “Hello to you too, my favourite florist,” Sirius replied, placing his elbows on the counter and propping his stupid, adorable face on his fists. “How are you doing today?” 
  * “I am very well, how-Oh my god, did you get your tattoos coloured?” Remus exclaimed, reaching out to grab hold of Sirius’ left arm which had always been covered in black and white tattoos. But now they’d all been filled in with the most vivid colours ever. 
  * Remus leaned over his arm, tracing the lines of his ‘R.A.B.’ tattoo before settling on the constellation beneath it. The original tattoos were impeccable but the colouring was very shoddy. Not that Remus was going to say that to Sirius’ face. 
  * He leaned back, removing his hand from Sirius’ arm before it caught on fire. “It looks beautiful,” Remus said with a smile. 
  * “Thank you,” Sirius answered, eyes twinkling with mirth. “My godson did it.”
  * “Oh?” Remus exclaimed, glad he hadn’t commented on the bad colouring that went out of the lines a bit and was a little bit...too colourful. “Is he a tattoo artist?” 
  * [“No, but he _is_ a four year old who has recently been allowed to use sketch pens,” Sirius said, breaking into a huge grin. ](http://shitiseeontwitter.tumblr.com/post/141163495018/this-is-so-adorable)
  * “Oh my god,” Remus laughed, covering his face in embarrassment. “No wonder its so bad!”
  * “Hey,” Sirius replied in mock offence. “That is my kid you are talking about.”
  * Remus smiled apologetically. “You love him a lot?”
  * “More than my own life,” Sirius replied, eyes serious despite the grin on his face. 
  * And damn, did that make Remus want to do things to the man. 



 

  * “All the single ladies!” Remus shouted, taking full advantage of the Monday morning lack of customers to have a singalong with Peter. 
  * “All the single ladies!” Peter shouted back before they sang together, “All the single ladies, now put your hands up!” 
  * Remus jumped on top of the counter, holding an imaginary mic. “Up in the club, we just broke up, I'm doing my own little thing,” he sang, then crouched down so Peter too could have a turn at his mic. 
  * “You decided to dip but now you wanna trip, cause another brother noticed me,” Peter trilled, literally _trilled,_ voice reaching unbelievably high pitches. 
  * Remus stood back up again, rolling his hips seductively and singing. “I'm up on him, he up on me, don't pay him any atten-” Remus’ singing was interrupted by the sound of loud laughter coming from behind him, and Remus nearly fell off the counter in his embarrassment at having been caught. 
  * But Sirius just laughed, clapping his hands and then patting Peter on the back. “Oh _god,_ that was _wonderful,”_ he said, wiping the tears away from his eyes and then holding out his hands to a tomato-red-Remus as he helped him off the counter. 
  * “We...we were just-” Remus started but Sirius stopped him with a finger on his lips, shaking with silent laughter. 
  * “That was amazing,” Sirius said, grinning, but Remus’ concentration seemed to have zeroed onto that one finger pressed against his lips. “I’m sorry I interrupted it.” 
  * “If your interruption means having you this close to me, I don’t mind,” Remus’ brain _babbled on_ before he could stop it. 
  * All time seemed to have frozen, his eyes widening as he realized what he had just said. Sirius’ heart stuttered inside his chest, his breathing going haywire. 
  * Without pausing to consider it, Sirius surged forward, a little too hard maybe, if the loud _clack_ of their foreheads clashing was a hint. 
  * “Sorry,” he mumbled, pulling away slightly. 
  * “Shut up,” Remus answered, pulling him by the neck so he could bring their lips together. 
  * Remus hated how sappy he sounded, but their first kiss was... _magical._ There was no other way to describe it. It was explosive and beautiful, and the world fell off its axis, and his ears stopped working. 
  * He opened his eyes a little, committing the image of Sirius’ closed eyes and slightly scrunched up nose to his memory. He couldn’t help the smile his lips curled into, closing his eyes again and breathing in the smell of Sirius, better than any flower in the world, richer than any rose’s smell could-
  * “Wait,” Remus pulled back, his heart fluttering when Sirius tried to follow his lips as if pulled to them by an unknown force. “No, stop. Listen.”
  * Sirius blinked once before his eyes widened in shock. “Oh shit. I’m so sorry. I-I thought you wanted to too! I should have asked first, I’m sorry.”
  * “No, no,” Remus rushed to explain, grabbing hold of Sirius’ fidgeting hands. “I wanted it. I _want_ this. But Sirius...am I a rebound? Did you break up with...whoever? Is that why you’re here?”
  * Sirius still seemed dazed, his eyebrows scrunching into an adorable frown. “Rebound? Break up? What? What are you talking about? I’m not dating _anyone.”_
  * _“_ But...Who were the flowers for then?” Remus asked. 
  * “Um,” Sirius mumbled, eyes shifting to the ground as his face turned red. “They were...No one. I. Yes, they were for no one.”
  * “Then why did you buy them?” 
  * “I...Ugh, god, can’t you spare me the embarrassment of the truth?” Sirius muttered irritably before taking a long breath. “They were for you.”
  * “ _Me?”_ Remus asked incredulously, looking to Peter in confusion only to find that his best friend had skittered off to give them privacy. 
  * “Yes, you,” Sirius replied, scratching the back of his neck again. “I’d come here everyday and...I never had the courage to ask you out. I thought everyday that it would be the day I’d give you the rose but...I never could?” 
  * Remus was grinning so hard he thought he’d split his lip. 
  * “You absolute _dork,”_ Remus said fondly, pulling Sirius into a bone crushing hug. “Couldn’t you see that I was literally _drooling_ for you? I hit on you every. Single. Day, Sirius. What more hint did you want?”
  * “I thought I was imagining it,” Sirius replied into the skin of Remus’ shoulder, making Remus shudder. 
  * “You little idiot,” Remus said, eyes bright with happiness as he pulled Sirius into another kiss. 
  * And another. 
  * And another. 
  * Peter had to beg for them to stop. 



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> COMMENT AND KUDOS = my bread and water (or wo-tah, if you're British)


	22. Teach Me How To Write A Kiss Pls, Remus Already Knows How To Make Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Prompt:** "okay so consider this, it comes out that Remus hasn't had his first kiss yet and Sirius is like it's 6th year wtf man? so, being the bestest best friend ever Sirius offers some lessons (honestly neither of them expected it to change absolutely everything) i really just love innocent friendly kissing lessons gone wrong lol"

  * “I don’t know what the big deal is about sex, you know?” Sirius said, turning his head to look at where Remus was lying next to him in the quiditch pitch. He looked beautiful, the sun making his golden-brown hair light up like a halo. 
  * Remus grinned at him then, eyes squinting and nose scrunching adorably in the harsh sunlight. “Really? Would you be saying that in front of James?” 
  * “No and if you tell him I said that, I will deny it till the end of my days,” Sirius replied with a grin, getting too caught up in how long Remus’ eyelashes were for a moment. “Anyway, like I was saying, sex isn’t a big deal. It’s just…means to an end. _Kissing,_ however; kissing is what its all about. You don’t have to rush kissing. You can just keep going for hours, and it only gets better.”
  * Remus sighed, looking back up at the clear blue sky. “I’ll let you be the judge on that.”
  * Sirius frowned. “Why? Don’t you think kissing is the best thing ever?”
  * Remus shrugged in response. “I wouldn’t know. Never done it before.”
  * Sirius sat up in surprise, eyes wide as he stared down at a slightly pink Remus. “No way. You haven’t kissed before?” he demanded. 
  * “What?” Remus asked, voice strained. “It’s not that big of a deal.”
  * “Weren’t you just listening to me, Remmy-kins? Kissing is a Big Deal,” Sirius replied. “And _it’s our sixth year, Remus!_ No one should be a kiss virgin in their _sixth year!”_
  * Remus looked like he wanted nothing more than the earth beneath him to open up and swallow him whole. “I kissed Lily once.”
  * “She’s like your sister,” Sirius deadpanned. “You kissed her on her index finger.”
  * “She had a boo-boo,” Remus said, turning a brighter shade of red now. 
  * “Okay, this is pathetic,” Sirius grumbled, trying to pull Remus up. “Get up!” he said. 
  * “Why?” Remus whined. He was loving how relaxed the feel of warm sunlight was making his entire body. 
  * “We’re going to get you your first kiss! I know Grayson from Ravenclaw has a humongous crush on you,” Sirius said, not mentioning that the size of Sirius’ own crush on Remus could put the sun to shame. 
  * “No,” Remus said, horrified. “I would rather be a kiss virgin in my sixth year than embarrass myself by slobbering all over Grayson.”
  * “Remus. Honey. Sweetie. Have you seen those lips? There is no way you’re not a natural at kissing,” Sirius said, cackling a little internally when his words only made Remus blush harder. 
  * “No,” Remus said again and Sirius sighed in exasperation. 
  * “What do you want me to do then? Give you kissing lessons?” Sirius demanded sarcastically. 
  * Instead of scoffing, like Sirius had expected Remus to, Remus’ eyes grew wide with hope. “You-you’d do that for me?”
  * Sirius gulped.
  * Well, fuck. 



 

  * “Okay first of all, stop hyperventilating,” Sirius instructed as they both sat down cross-legged in front of each other. 
  * “Hyperventilating? Who’s hyperventilating? Not me,” Remus said with a crazed look in his eyes and Sirius rolled his eyes. 
  * “Calm down, Remus. It’s just a kiss,” he said, his heart betraying his words by beating erratically at the thought of finally getting up and close with the lips he couldn’t stop dreaming about. 
  * Remus nodded, letting out a slow breath. “Okay, I’m calm. What should I do?” he asked. 
  * “Um,” Sirius said, stumped. “Well. I don’t know. I’ve never taught someone how to kiss before.”
  * “How do you do it?”
  * “I just go for it?” Sirius said, unsure. “Maybe you should do that. You’ve seen people kiss. Just go ahead and kiss me.”
  * Remus nodded. 



 

  * Sirius finally understood what people meant by ‘earth shattering kisses.’ 



 

  * “Ow, _fuck,”_ Remus groaned, rubbing his forehead where he had slammed it against Sirius’ in his haste to kiss. “I’m so sorry! Fuck, this is so embarrassing. Maybe I should just go? I-”
  * “Sit the fuck down, Lupin,” Sirius commanded, pressing his hand against the throb in his forehead. “We’re teaching you how to kiss no matter what.” 
  * Remus slumped down dejectedly, carefully avoiding Sirius’ eyes. 
  * “Do that again,” Sirius said. “But this time, slowly. And tilt your head to the side so that you don’t break both our noses or crack our skulls.”
  * Remus nodded, face on fire, before he leaned again. His heart was going crazy inside his chest, his head dizzy in anticipation as he tilted his head to the side and pressed his lips against Sirius’. 
  * Sirius thought he was having a heart attack. This was possibly the best kiss he’d ever had and they weren’t even doing anything. 
  * They probably looked like idiots to outsiders, sitting there with their hands in their laps, lips pressed against each others’ and staring wide eyed at how _good_ it felt. 
  * Remus pulled back first, completely and inexplicably out of breath.



 

  * “Yeah, um, that was good. Good start,” Sirius mumbled, his fingers rubbing against his lips absentmindedly. “Now again, but close your eyes. It’s weird staring at each other.”
  * Remus nodded, leaning in and pressing his lips against Sirius’ again before Sirius could ask him to. 
  * Sirius stared, enthralled by how pretty Remus’ eyelashes looked, fluttering slightly against the skin of his cheeks. This close, he could see the tiny freckles on the bridge of his nose, making affection tighten his chest. 
  * He pulled back slightly before bringing his hands up to cup Remus’ cheeks, his heart stuttering at how intoxicated Remus looked, lips pouting slightly and eyes droopy. 
  * “Like this,” Sirius said in a shaky whisper before closing the gap between them again. 
  * He gently pulled at Remus’ bottom lip, sucking on it slightly and nearly moaning at how soft it felt. But then Remus caught up to him and did the same to Sirius, _and Sirius nearly blacked out._
  * _“_ Mm _, fuck,”_ Remus groaned slightly, his arms coming to encircle Sirius’ neck, pulling his closer. 
  * Sirius wanted to open his eyes, pull back a little to see what Remus _looked_ like when he made those noises, but then Remus was opening his mouth and his tongue was licking along the curve of Sirius’ lip and Sirius couldn’t do anything but pull Remus even closer and _moan._
  * He didn’t know how it had happened, but he somehow found himself on his back again, Remus’ weight pinning him down as his hands grabbed at the back of Remus’ shirt. 
  * Sirius didn’t think that it could get any better than this but, of course, Remus Lupin was never to be underestimated. 
  * Sirius gasped against Remus’ mouth when he felt warm fingers entangling themselves with his long hair and then _pulling._ Remus, the utter arsehole, had the nerve to chuckle.
  * Sirius would have made a smartarse comment, he really would have, but all that came out of his mouth was another embarrassingly wrecked moan when Remus moved his absolutely sinful mouth away from his lips and down to where his pulse was beating erratically at the side of his neck. 
  * Remus bit down softly at the pulse, nearly preening with pride when he felt Sirius arch up against him, before kissing the same place with equal love and gentleness. He licked a stripe from the juncture of neck and shoulder to the place behind Sirius’ ear, pressing another torturously soft kiss there. 
  * Sirius shivered and gasped when the bloody sadist blew a long, slow breath against his neck, then returning to his the sensitive place between his neck and shoulder and sucking. 
  * “Remus,” he gasped, grabbing Remus’ shirt by the back of his collar and pulling him up till their lips were aligned again. 
  * He was never going to get tired of kissing Remus. 



 

  * By the time they had the sense to stop, the sky was orange with the light of the drowning sun and their lips were red and swollen. Remus panted, one hand on his heaving chest, the other clasped against Sirius’. 
  * Sirius pressed the fingers of his other hand to the blooming hickey against his neck, smiling a little. He turned his head to find Remus already looking at him. “That wasn’t your first kiss, was it?” 
  * Remus grinned, wide and evil. “I am such a player,” he said and Sirius huffed indignantly. 
  * “Piece of shit,” he said fondly, pressing a sweet little kiss against Remus’ forehead. 



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> COMMENT AND KUDOS = I'll, personally, put a lot of time and effort into, personally, retyping the entire script of the Bee movie and, personally, send it to you.


	23. Awkward Sirius x1000

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Prompt:** "AH AH okay i see you're taking hc ideas and i love your writing so much pls would u think about a troupe-y muggle university where james and sirius are bffs for life and sirius meets remus inadvertently on campus somewhere?"

  * Sirius _hated_ it. 
  * Remus was _haunting_ him. 
  * He had first seen Remus across the room in his class on world history, long, lithe fingers pinching his bottom lip in concentration as he furiously scribbled down notes on his notebook. 
  * Sirius had come prepared for the first day of the semester, all armoured up against beautiful boys with eyes like molten chocolate, swearing up and down that _no,_ he was not going to have another hopeless crush on anyone. 
  * But then there was Remus, with his voice like rumbling clouds on a rainy day and smile like the warmth of your bed after a long, hard day. 
  * And _no._ He didn’t just torture Sirius during class, with his stupid arm stretches that were coupled with fucking _neck stretches_ (and god, that stupidly biteable neck was going to be the death of him) and his idiotic laughter with annoyingly cute little nose scrunches. 
  * He was _everywhere._



 

  * Sirius had been walking back home from the pizza shop where he worked part time, texting James about The Jungle Book (”Prongs, mate, friend, buddy, listen. Baloo and Bagheera are so g a y for each other its unbelievable”) when he crashed into another body. 
  * “Fuck, sorry,” he said, quickly bending down to retrieve his phone and the other person’s ipod off the ground, only to smash his head against the strangers’, who was doing the same. “ _Ow,”_ Sirius groaned, wincing as he pressed his hand to his head and looked up to check if the other person was alright. 
  * Sirius’ brain might have short circuited a little after that. 
  * “Ugh,” Remus groaned in his deep, deep voice, scrunching his cute lil nose adorably and giving Sirius a small smile. “So sorry about that, I think I was jamming too hard to the song and completely spaced out on where I was going.”
  * “Nnnnggg,” Sirius answered eloquently. 
  * “Um,” Remus said awkwardly, eyes shifting uncomfortably. “Are you…you okay?”
  * “Uh?” Sirius murmured, eyes going wide as he realised what an idiot he was being. “Of course! Yeah, I’m fine. Totally fine! Are you? Okay, I mean?”
  * “Yeah, fine,” Remus answered with another unsure, small smile and Sirius had never wanted to be kidnapped by aliens more than he did in that moment. 
  * “Hey, have I seen you before?” Sirius asked, pretending as if he hadn’t memorized the back of Remus’ head in the last two months of classes. 
  * “Yeah, we’re in the same world history class,” Remus said, his smile finally reaching his eyes again. “I’m Remus.”
  * “Nice to meet you,” Sirius said, shaking Remus’ hand and nearly shuddering at how good it felt to _touch_ the other boy. “I’m Sirius.”
  * “I know,” Remus answered with a smirk before bending down to quickly pick up their forgotten possessions off the ground. “See you around?” he asked, handing Sirius his phone. 
  * Remus was already a few steps away before Sirius found the breath to whisper out a “yes, definitely.”



 

  * _“Remus?”_ Sirius exclaimed when he found the tall, gorgeous boy next to the food table. 
  * Remus looked confused for two seconds as he turned around, before his eyes widened in recognition and he gave Sirius one of those bro hugs. “ _Hey,”_ Remus said, grinning wide as his eyes looked Sirius up and down. “You look _good,_ mate.”
  * Sirius blushed to the roots of his hair and stuttered out an awkward thanks which made Remus laugh. 
  * “You’re so cute,” Remus commented and Sirius had to work embarrassingly hard to stop himself from bursting out into hysterics. “What are you doing here?”
  * “Oh, um, I am related to the person who owns this house,” Sirius answered. 
  * “Oh, you’re related to Tonks?” Remus asked in surprise. “Well, now that you say that, you both _do_ look similar, with the beautiful dark hair and unfair bone structures.”
  * “Can you please stop saying things like that?” Sirius blurted out, fanning his face as Remus laughed again. 
  * “I can’t stop myself when you keep reacting that way!” he said and took a drink from the red, plastic cup in his hand. “Are you also related to Regulus? I’ve only met him once but no one can forget those eyes,” he said, nodding towards Sirius’ eyes. 
  * Sirius willed himself not to blush anymore and from the small smirk playing on Remus’ lips, he knew how hard Sirius was struggling not to melt into a puddle of goo. “Yeah, he’s my brother,” Sirius answered fondly. They didn’t always get along but he still loved him like he loved pizza. “How do you know them?”
  * “I had an intro to criminology class with Tonks and we just… _clicked_  and became best friends after that,” he replied. “I met Regulus through her. He’s very nice.”
  * “Oh, he is a piece of snobby little shit,” Sirius said with feeling and Remus burst out laughing. “He _is!_ But he’s also one of the kindest and loyal people I know, so he balances it out.” 
  * “Why do all siblings have a very strong love-hate relationship?” Remus said. 
  * “You don’t have any brothers or sisters?” Sirius asked and Remus shook his head. “Damn, you are lucky.”
  * “You have loads?” Remus asked with a smile. 
  * Five hours later, Sirius’ lips were parched from how much he had talked and his body ached from all the dance moves he had pulled on a laughing Remus. 
  * But it was a good ache. 



 

  * “Sirius?” 
  * The voice startled him so much that Sirius nearly tripped down the stairs.
  * “Remus?” he asked, giving a very fake laugh. “How are you, buddy? Good to see you! What are you doing here? I never thought I’d see you here!”
  * “Sirius, I live in this building,” Remus answered. “You _know_ I live in this building.”
  * Sirius _did_ know that Remus lived in the same building as James and Lily. He had nearly brained himself on the sidewalk when he had found out that yes, _of course,_ Remus Lupin, his unattainable crush and now study buddy lived in the building where Sirius spent half his day. 
  * It was like the universe was purposefully torturing Sirius with the other boy’s soft, curly hair and wide, bambi eyes. 
  * “Can we address the elephant in the room now?” Remus added when Sirius didn’t answer. “Or should I say, the _goat_ in the stairwell.” 
  * “Uhhhhh, do we have to?” Sirius asked with a big cheery smile, trying to soothe the baby goat in his arms by trying to rock him the way he did with Harry whenever he was crying. He only got an earful of loud bleating for his efforts. 
  * “I feel like we have to,” Remus said shortly before stepping all up in Sirius’ space and cooing at the goat. 
  * “Uhhhh, I was just walking down the streets and saw this little baby-”
  * “Oh, yeah? You saw a goat walking around in London? Dressed in a leather jacket?” Remus challenged, raising a suspicious eyebrow. 
  * Sirius bit his lip, cursing himself for buying a leather jacket along with other goatly supplies from the pet store. “Okay, _fine!_ I wasn’t strong enough, okay? There was this guy selling baby goats on the street and _look at this lil dude!_ I couldn’t just _leave_ him there!”
  * “So you bought a goat?” 
  * “ _Yes,”_ Sirius exclaimed, cuddling him closer. “But my building has a no pets policy so I thought James and Lily could keep Regulus for a while, only till I can find another place for us.”
  * “You are moving out. Because of a goat that you bought on impulse. A goat you named after your brother _,”_ Remus stated. 
  * “ _Yes,”_ Sirius answered, rolling his eyes in exasperation. “Now if you will excuse me, I have some grovelling to do,” he added, trying to edge out of Remus’ way. 
  * “They’re never going to keep him,” Remus said, blocking his way again. “They have a _child_ to take care of. No way will they accept taking responsibility for another…baby.” 
  * Sirius’ shoulders slumped. He had known they wouldn’t, that they _couldn’t,_ what with all the juggling they already had to do with their uni work, job work and handling-a-two-year-old-baby work, but he hadn’t accepted it till it had been spelled out for him. 
  * “I guess…” Remus said with a huff. “I guess I could keep him. _But only till you find a new place.”_
  * Sirius’ eyes widened in surprise. “You would do that?”
  * Remus shrugged, giving Sirius one of those beautiful, small smiles. “I mean, you’d have to help take care of him though. I have work and classes, so we’d have to come up with a schedule to look after him.”
  * “Oh my god, _are you real?”_ Sirius exclaimed, bouncing up and down a little and jostling Regulus. “Are you kidding me? Oh my god, we’re going to be fantastic parents! We’ll put Lily and James to shame with our parenting skills! We’ll teach Regs tricks and potty train him and take him to see new places and-Why are you looking at me like that?”
  * Remus’ grin only widened and he gave Sirius a quick kiss on the cheek. “You’re adorable,” he said before walking back upstairs. “C’mon, let’s settle Regulus in.”
  * It took Sirius thirty seven seconds to remind his legs how to walk again. 



 

  * See, the thing was, Sirius _loved_ sleep and he wasn’t good with anything less than ten hours of sleep. That made him grumpy, useless and even more prone to doing stupid things than normal. 
  * And Sirius hadn’t had _any_ sleep at all. 
  * He didn’t understand what he had been thinking when he’d agreed not only to be Remus’ study buddy, but also agreed to co-parent Regulus with him. 
  * It was _torture._
  * It was messing with his _sleep schedule_. He was having _domestic_ thoughts.  
  * All he could think about the entire night was how they’d fallen into a routine, a very relationship-y and domestic-y routine that consisted of taking Regulus out together, making _meals_ for each other, watching telly together, even _cleaning Remus’ apartment together._
  * Sirius didn’t know when he’d gone from spends-all-day-at-Prongs-and-Lily’s-place to constantly-sleeps-over-at-Remus’-place. He didn’t know when he’d let Remus _consume_ him so completely that he couldn’t sleep _in his own apartment._
  * So yes, Sirius was grumpy. And Sirius was standing at his favourite coffee shop at seven in the fucking morning, only to be greeted by Remus’ smiling face from behind the counter. 
  * “Hey Sirius,” he waved. “What are you doing up so early?”
  * “No _fucking_ way,” Sirius grit out. “What the hell are you doing here?”
  * “Um, I work here? I’ve worked here since forever?” Remus said. 
  * “No, you don’t. I’ve come here nearly every day since the day I started university and trust me, I would remember seeing you here,” Sirius replied. 
  * “I only work the morning shifts so…” Remus trailed off, frowning when Sirius just gets grumpier. 
  * “Of _course_ you do! Of course you work here, at my favourite coffee shop!” he nearly shouted. “Oh my god, what have I done to deserve this?”
  * “Sirius, are you high? What the fuck are you talking about?” Remus asked, eyebrows raised in surprise. 
  * “You are _everywhere,”_ Sirius told him, leaning forward on the counter. “Every-fucking-where. I can’t escape you and your beautiful fucking face. I can’t _sleep_ in my very comfortable, and no offence, but better than yours, apartment because all I can think about is how much better it is to fall asleep listening to you sing some stupid, Welsh song, lying on your lumpy, trashy fucking couch! I can’t eat my beautifully cooked pancakes because all I can think about is how pretty you look when you blush because you burnt the toast again! You’re fucking hopeless with cooking, by the way, I didn’t even know you could mess up making _toast!_ You need to _stop,_ okay? I am going _crazy_ here and I am going _insane-”_
  * Remus leaned across the counter, grabbing Sirius by the collar of his rumpled up shirt and smashing their mouths together. Sirius moaned in surprise, sure that this was another Remus induced hallucination till Remus lightly nipped him on the bottom lip, bringing him back to reality. 
  * Feeling high on happiness and surprise, Sirius let his hands grab Remus by the back of his neck, trying to pull him closer. 
  * In the end, Sirius pulled back first, panting from the lack of breath and completely dazed. His lips felt swollen, tingly and sensitive. 
  * Remus grinned at him, leaning forward to peck at Sirius’ lips once more before saying, “It’s on the house.” 



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> COMMENT AND KUDOS = because I'm running out of shit jokes to write here.


	24. Stranger Danger but Not Really AU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Prompt:** "It's night time and you just pepper sprayed me because you thought I was a mugger, but all I was trying to do is ask for directions" with wolfstar please ? (Also: I love your writing so very much and your wolfstar headcanons are my fav omg)

**Warning: Description and discussion of non-consensual touching and assumed stalking.**

  * _This is why I hate going out,_ Sirius thought to himself as he burrowed his hands into his pockets and walked a little faster. 
  * He wasn’t stupid, he knew what he looked like. He knew people found him attractive and that it didn’t matter if he wanted it or not, people would continually hit on him no matter where he went. 
  * _Even at his best friend’s grandma’s funeral._
  * Normally, it didn’t bother him-Well, it _did_ bother him, but he found it easy to tune out all unwanted attention and he’d mastered the art of letting people down gently. 
  * But tonight, he was honestly kind of scared. 
  * After James had begged and grovelled to him for about thirty minutes, Sirius had finally given in and decided to go out with him to the pub. 
  * Only to be left alone with a creepy woman with nails that were better described as talons and a predatory look in her eyes as James shamelessly flirted with a pretty red head on the other end of the pub. 
  * “ _Hey,”_ she had said in a buttery voice, lips tainted blood red. “Whats a pretty thing like you doing here all alone?” 
  * Sirius had given her his standard, I-have-to-be-nice-because-manners smile. “Hi,” he had answered. “It’s a completely intentional loneliness. Didn’t really feel like socializing tonight.” 
  * Her hand trailed slowly from her glass to his knee, her nails grazing his thigh in what she probably wanted to be an enticing touch. She tilted her head to the side, half-lidded. “Aw, I really hope I’m not interfering with your alone time,” she said, her previously soft voice sounding jarring to him now and Sirius felt his body tense, the edges of his smile dropping. 
  * “I promise I can make it worth your time,” she continued, and before Sirius could stop her, her hand had reached the crease of his thigh and groin and was cupping him. 
  * “Stop,” he said, grabbing her wrist, his hands shaking despite how hard he was trying not to show how much she had effected him. 
  * She had just pouted irritatingly, whining low in her throat. “C’mon, pretty boy. We’re both lonely and the night is still young. Let’s have some fun, huh?” 
  * Her other hand had come up to trail down his arm and he slapped it away, getting up and slapping a couple of bills down on the bar. 
  * “Excuse me,” he had uttered coldly, hating how twisted his guts felt inside his body and how… _wrong_ everything felt. 
  * He had grabbed his coat from the back of his stool and walked out, not looking back once to see where James was or what her face looked like being rejected. 
  * Or whether she had stayed in her chair or not. 



 

  * He was a block away from his apartment building when he realised that someone was following him. 
  * He had been hearing the heels of shoes scraping and clicking against the cement pavement for a while, but it was only then that he realised that they were hurrying now and that they were hurrying towards _him._
  * Sirius’ heart thumped uncomfortably against his ribs and the feeling of _fear-panic-run_ twisted in his stomach. Swallowing the bitter lump in his throat, Sirius reached into the inner pocket of his coat and reassured himself when he felt the cool metal packaging of the pepper spray in his palm. 
  * Not thirty seconds later, he felt the steps right behind him and giving himself no time to panic, he turned around and pepper-sprayed his stalker…
  * …in the mouth. 
  * _Fuck,_ Sirius thought as the other guy flailed and coughed. 
  * The other _guy._ Not woman with wandering hands and a dodgy understanding of consent. 
  * Sirius nearly laughed out loud in relief before he realised that he had just attacked an innocent person. 
  * Well, he _had_ been following Sirius so couldn’t be that innocent. 
  * “Were you going to _rob_ me?” Sirius exclaimed, sounding personally offended for some reason. “Are you kidding me? First I get fucking felt up and then someone comes to _rob_ me?” 
  * The other man straightened up from where he had been leaning down on his knees for support, coughing up his lungs. His large, brown eyes were filled with tears, the tip of his nose and the area surrounding his lips completely red. 
  * Sirius watched the other man shake his head in denial before shoving a small something in Sirius’ hands. 
  * Sirius looked down, eyes widening when he realised that it was _his phone._ He must have dropped it in his internal freak out. 
  * _“Oh my god,”_ he exclaimed, reaching out to support the other man and rubbing his back. “Fuck, I’m so sorry. My apartment is right around the corner, how about you come with me and we can give you something to drink or oh my god, _anything!_ Please let me help you! I’m so sorry!” 
  * The stranger just nodded, tears streaming down his face.



 

  * “Better?” Sirius asked in concern, guilt forcing his posture to slump.
  * “A bit,” the stranger, _Remus,_ answered, his voice scratchy and painful sounding. “It’s okay, I shouldn’t have snuck up on you,” Remus said, wincing when the words started another coughing fit. 
  * Sirius felt like crying, he had never felt so guilty before. 
  * “I’m so sorry,” Sirius repeated as Remus gulped down more water. 
  * Remus shook his head placatingly, cheeks bulging adorably with water. “It’s fine, trust me. Although next time you think someone’s stalking you, aim for the eyes,” Remus said with a grin and Sirius’ cheeks pinked. “That would be more effective.”
  * “Um, the person I mistook you for isn’t that tall,” Sirius answered lamely, not wanting to admit that he had been scared of a woman. Men weren’t supposed to be intimidated by women. 
  * “Ah,” Remus nodded in understanding, hand absently massaging his throat where it must have been hurting. “The person that felt you up? God, I’m sorry, you must have been having quite a shit day, huh?” 
  * Sirius shrugged one shoulder, suddenly feeling awkward. 
  * Remus’ eyes widened suddenly and he got up in a rush, looking down at a startled Sirius. “Oh my god, I am _so_ sorry,” Remus exclaimed. “You must be feeling so… _violated._ And here I am, a complete stranger, invading your personal space. I am really sorry, I got a bit too comfortable on your amazingly soft sofa. I’ll just leave now, I didn’t mean to-”
  * “No, no, no,” Sirius said, getting up too. “It’s my fault you’re…Stay. Please. At least till your mouth is a bit less red. I won’t be able to sleep at night not knowing whether or not you’re better.” 
  * Remus looked as if he was having an internal struggle before he sighed and smiled. “If that’s okay with you, sure. I’ll stay.”
  * Sirius grinned. “I’ll get ice cream and we can watch a show?”



 

  * Somewhere in the middle of the episode, Remus cleared his throat to get Sirius’ attention. 
  * Sirius looked over and raised a brow questioningly. 
  * Remus looked down at the space between them, pulling at the sleeves of his misfit sweater. “Um, do you want to talk about it? You’re obviously not okay, I mean, you keep fidgeting and you know, since I’m here, we might as well…” Remus trailed off with a shrug, still staring at the sofa. “Just. The offer’s there. If you want to talk.”
  * With a sharp nod to himself, Remus turned his face back to the tv, shoulders tense as he spooned more ice cream into his still red mouth. 
  * Sirius blushed, eyes trained on the tv too. “It’s embarrassing.” 
  * Remus hummed, watching Rachel from Friends make another stupid life decision. “Well, if you think about it, you’re never going to meet me again so…” 
  * Sirius watched him shrug again in his periphery and cleared his throat. Deciding it was less awkward with no eye contact, he remained staring unseeingly at the tv as he said, “I’m just. I am tired of being a piece of meat. I _get_ it. I look good and people are compelled to hit on me, _fine._ I don’t mind being hit on, but I don’t want to be a conquest, you know?”
  * There was a small pause and Sirius sighed. “I just want someone to give a shit about me, to care enough to get to know me and not go running as soon as they get into my pants,” he said and he could see Remus frowning at the tv from the corner of his eye. 
  * “I guess I should be used to it by now,” Sirius said in resignation. “I should just accept and fucking _expect_ unsolicited groping, right? I should-”
  * “What are you _talking_ about?” Remus asked suddenly, startling Sirius into meeting his steady gaze. 
  * Sirius swallowed. He hadn’t realised how intense Remus’ eyes were, all wide and sincere and… _angry?_
  * _“_ You shouldn’t have to _accept_ or be _used to_ any of this bullshit,” Remus said angrily. “People should have the decency to realise that you’re not interested and have the fucking decency to _move on.”_
  * For the second time in the past one hour, Sirius felt like crying. He bit down on his bottom lip, trying to get it to stop trembling. “I know,” Sirius said thickly. “I know that. I…I was just frustrated. That’s why I said that-”
  * “And you have every right to be frustrated, Sirius,” Remus cut him off loudly before looking away in what Sirius assumed to be embarrassment, the tips of his ears turning red. “You shouldn’t have to pretend to be okay,” Remus added, voice barely above a whisper. 
  * Sirius stared at Remus for another minute before turning to stare at the tv again. He scratched at his forearm in nervousness, hating how tense the atmosphere felt. 
  * “I _shouldn’t_ be not fine,” Sirius said awkwardly a few seconds later, finally admitting what was actually bothering him. “I…I should be _enjoying_ women hitting on me and touching me,” he said, unable to stop the shudder that wracked through him. “Shouldn’t be… _scared_ of women who can’t take a no.”
  * Remus turned his intense gaze back on him, eyes wide. “Who the fuck said that?” he asked, voice dangerously low. “Sirius, do I have to school your ass right now? You are allowed to feel whatever you’re feeling. And stop acting as if touching you without your consent is no big deal. That’s sexual assault.”
  * Sirius felt a shallow breath escaping his lips and the _panic-fear-wrong_ feeling that had settled a little intensified ten-fold. He turned back to stare at the tv, his eyes watering a little as his brain bombarded him with every unsolicited touch he had ever received from anyone. 
  * Remus sighed. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I came on a bit too strong probably. But you needed to hear it.”
  * Sirius heard shuffling and then Remus was in front of him, holding a piece of paper in his hands. 
  * “I know I said that you can tell me because we might never meet again but…Here,” he said, handing him the slip of paper. “The first number is Peter’s. He teaches self defense classes three blocks from here. He’s great. The other number is mine. There is no pressure, but if you ever need someone to, I don’t know, talk to or teach you how to knit, I’ll be there.”
  * Sirius gave Remus a watery smile and impulsively pulled him into a hug. “Thank you,” he whispered, before pulling back. 
  * Remus grinned and Sirius thought of how beautiful he looked with his adorable bunny teeth. “No problem. I’ll see myself out. You should think about what we talked about and…Don’t beat yourself over things that are not your fault.”
  * “And aim for the eyes?” Sirius asked, trying to lighten the atmosphere. 
  * “Aim for the eyes,” Remus agreed with a laugh. 
  * A laugh Sirius would be hearing a lot more in the coming years. 



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> COMMENT AND KUDOS = I'll force myself to watch one whole episode of Keeping up with the Kardashians.


	25. Irish!Ray-moo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Prompt:** "hey like how about like lil 11 yr old sirius and irish!remus meeting and sirius is so enchanted by his accent that he makes remus read hogwarts a history on the train whilst james is like "sirius youve just met the kid cMON" thank you!!"

**Disclaimer:** I have never met an Irish person so whatever I write henceforth is whatever I’ve gotten through whatever research material I could find. I really hope I don’t offend anyone. 

  * Sirius glared at Severus Snooty Snape’s retreating back despite the red haired girl’s warning glance towards him, as if she knew he was willing his magic to accidentally set Snape on fire. 
  * He heard the light haired boy in the seat opposite him let out a whoosh of breath, smiling slightly. “Well, that was awkward,” he said. 
  * Sirius sat up immediately, surprised not just at how sweet the voice was but also at the lilt to the words that he hadn’t ever heard before.
  * “What’s that accent?” Sirius found himself asking before cringing slightly, expecting a sharp rebuke from his mother about manners. 
  * But the other boy just smiled again, shrugging. “I’m Irish,” he answered. “I’m also Remus,” he added, reaching out a hand for Sirius to shake. 
  * Sirius instantly decided that he would be talking to this boy, _Remus,_ a lot more, if only to hear him say ‘Irish’ a thousand more times, hear the way his tongue rolled around the ‘I’ sound. 
  * “Sirius,” he responded, trying to think of ways to keep the conversation going. 
  * The other two boys in the compartment introduced themselves as James and Peter, and Remus seemed to pull himself out of the conversation completely, much to Sirius’ disappointment. 
  * “So Remus,” Sirius interrupted James’ tirade about the absolute filth that made up the Slytherin house. “What house do you suppose you’ll be in?”
  * “Um,” Remus started and Sirius felt adoration light up inside him at Remus pronouncing ‘um’ as ‘em’. “I guess…Me mam was in Ravenclaw so I think I’ll be there too.”
  * “And what about your dad?” Sirius asked, storing away the fact that Remus called his mum ‘mam’ in the section of his brain that he had just started calling ‘Fascinating Boy’s Fascinating Accent.’
  * “Uh…he never went here,” the other boy replied, shoulders tensing up for some reason. 
  * “Oh? So he went to Beauxbatons or somewhere?” Peter asked and Remus’ cheeks turned light pink. 
  * “No, he’s a muggle,” Remus said quietly and it took Sirius a minute to make himself to stop giggling internally at the way Remus pronounced ‘muggle’ to realise what he had just said. 
  * Remus was a half-blood. An Irish half-blood who called his mum ‘mam’ and blushed very prettily. 
  * Some distant part of Sirius wondered why he wasn’t more shocked and disgusted at what Remus had just admitted. Instead, he just barreled on with more questions. 



 

  * “What’s that like? Living with a muggle parent? Do you live the muggle way?” he asked, genuinely curious considering he hadn’t met anyone that wasn’t pureblood before. 
  * “Muggle way?” Remus asked incredulously. “What way is that? How do you purebloods live? Do you sleep…I don’t know, afloat in the air? Do you eat magic apples which you grew magically and picked with your magic hands? We live just like you lot.”
  * Sirius was _cackling._ He was _howling._ But all internally, of course. 
  * Remus’ accent seemed to intensify as he ranted, all his ‘th’s turned to ‘d’ and all the ‘t’s at the end of his words completely disappearing. 
  * _Sirius loved it._
  * He never wanted Remus to stop talking. 
  * So, obviously, he goaded Remus on. 
  * “Well, my _mum_ says that non-purebloods live a miserable life,” he answered with feigned nonchalance. He wasn’t lying though. His mother really _had_ said that…and much more. 
  * Remus’ face turned completely red with anger. “We do _not_ live miserable lives. We live happily. I am prolly more happy than any of you lads! We’re not _quare_ just because we’re not all magic!”
  * “Quare?” Peter asked innocently, wincing when Remus’ rage filled gaze turned to him. 
  * “ _Strange,”_ he explained angrily before muttering something that sounded awfully like ‘fekin’ Londoners.’
  * There was a lull in the conversation and Sirius felt himself grasping around for different topics that could keep Remus talking. He glanced around, trying to think of something when he spotted Remus’ battered edition of Hogwarts: A History. 
  * Before he could realise that he wanted Remus as a friend and not an enemy, he felt his mouth open and say the stupidest thing possible. 
  * “What are you doing with that book? Oh Salazar, I didn’t know half-bloods could read,” he said, immediately having a shouting James and Remus at his throat. 
  * “Are you _out_ of your mind?” Remus hissed and Sirius was too intrigued by the way he said ‘out’ to really care that he was being an arsehole. “Of course I know how to read!”
  * Sirius shrugged, completely ignoring James’ angry mutterings. “Prove it then.”



 

  * And that is how he made Remus Lupin shout himself hoarse because that is what he did. He _shouted_ chapters one through five of the book, before softening down somewhere during chapter six.
  * He started whispering at the beginning of chapter eight, not wanting to wake up Peter and James, and Sirius moved to sit down next to him, revelling in the melodic and rhythmic shifts in his tone. 



 

  * “I’m sorry,” Sirius whispered somewhere around chapter eleven, fifteen minutes before they would reach Hogwarts. “I didn’t mean any of what I said. I just wanted you to keep talking because you have a very nice accent.”
  * Remus stared long enough for Sirius to start feeling incredibly uncomfortable before giving a short breathy laugh. “Oh my god, you didn’t have to act the maggot for that!” he said and Sirius blushed, not knowing what that meant but knowing it wasn’t anything nice. “You could have just asked!”
  * Sirius shrugged. “I should have.”
  * Remus side eyed him for a second before smiling. “It’s alright. C’mon, lets go to the jacks and change before we reach Hogwarts.”
  * Sirius had no idea what “d jacks” were but he knew he would gladly follow Remus anywhere as long as he kept talking.



  * “You’re like a little kid with a little kid crush,” James teased later and Sirius blushed all the way to the roots of his hair. 
  * “ _You’re_ a little kid.” 



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> COMMENT AND KUDOS = because pls.


	26. Realistic Name Fuckups, Filmy Romance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Prompt:** “You’re the customer and you get back at me for all the times I’ve spelt your name wrong by mispronouncing my name in increasingly horrible ways.”

  * “What. The. Actual. Fuck,” Sirius said in disbelief as he stared down at the coffee cup in his hand. 
  * “What?” James asked off handedly, as if munching on his stupid cake was more important than the humiliation that Sirius was feeling at the moment. 
  * “Look at _this!”_ Sirius shouted, uncaring of all the other people around them and shoved the cup into James’ face. “ _Look_ at this, James! The cute barista thinks I’m called _Cyrus!_ Cyrus! Do I look like a fucking _Cyrus?_ Stop laughing, you ginormous git!”
  * “Oh my god, your _face_ ,” James simply responded, only laughing harder. 
  * “This isn’t funny, James Potter! This is awful! Tragic beyond belief! How can I _ever_ hope to get him to be interested in me if he thinks my name is bloody _Cyrus?”_ Sirius exclaimed with a dramatic flailing of his hands. 
  * “You just saw the guy, Sirius. Isn’t it a little early to start making wooing plans already?” James said, rolling his eyes. “Besides, Cyrus isn’t a bad name, and it’s certainly not as off-putting as _Sirius.”_
  * “Your _face_ is off-putting,” Sirius grumbled, trying to think of ways to amend this obviously horrible turn of events. 



 

  * “Hi,” Sirius said with a smoulder that Lily proclaimed made him look very shaggable. 
  * “Hey,” the cute barista, or “Remus” as his nametag suggested, answered, the tips of his ears turning red. “What would you like to order?” 
  * “An iced café latte, please,” Sirius replied, smiling his brightest smile. 
  * “Anything else?” Remus asked, looking up from the cash register with a small, shy smile of his own. 
  * “That will be all,” Sirius answered, handing him the money. 
  * “And could I get your name, please?” Remus asked nervously, the tip of his marker shaking slightly where it was resting against the cup. 
  * “ _Sirius,”_ Sirius answered, stressing on each syllable to make sure Remus doesn’t botch it up again. 
  * Two minutes later, Sirius hears Remus confidently say “Iced café latte” before his voice turned unsure and quiet at “for Sirius.” 
  * Sirius' smile dried up as soon as his eyes settled on the big “ _Syrian”_ written on top of his cup, his nose wrinkling. 
  * _Syrian??? What the hell?_ he shouted internally before deciding that enough was enough. 
  * This wasn’t a wooing game anymore. 
  * This was a war. 
  * Giving the curly haired boy the sweetest smile he could muster, Sirius pleasantly said, “Thank you, Ray-moo,” making sure that it sounded as intentional and snobby as it could without coming off as completely obnoxious. 



 

  * “Um,” Remus’ voice said, his cheeks completely red as he looked around at the people waiting for their drinks till he met Sirius’ eyes, flushing darker. “Your hazelnut frappuccino?” he said in a small voice, not even attempting to say Sirius’ name this time. 
  * Sirius smiled as he moved forward to get his drink, not even caring about how apparently his name was “Silas” if it meant watching Remus blush so prettily. 
  * “Thank you,” Sirius said with a grin. “Have a nice day, Ra-miss.” 



 

  * “Can you, uh, spell your name, please?” Remus asked awkwardly the next time Sirius went in for coffee.
  * “And where would be the fun in that, Romulus?” Sirius answered with a wink, surprised at the momentary disappointment he had felt at Remus’ request. 



 

  * “Cyril?” his coffee cup read and Sirius couldn’t help but laugh at the question mark.  
  * When he looked up, Remus was grinning as he moved on to the next customer. 



 

  * “Rhombus,” Sirius greeted Remus the next day. 
  * Remus laughed hard enough that he had tears in his eyes before retaliating with a “Square :)” on his cup. 



 

  * “ _Come on,”_ Remus whined quietly because he could, there were no other customers waiting in line that day. “Just tell me what your name is.”
  * “It’s not even that hard!” Sirius exclaimed, grinning. “I can’t believe you still haven’t gotten it. And it doesn’t sound _anything_ like fucking _Cyril!”_
  * Remus chuckled. “I _know_ but it’s always loud in here and I keep hearing...something weird that is definitely _not_ a name,” he answered. 
  * “What is it?” Sirius asked curiously, leaning forward on the counter. 
  * Remus blushed, averting his gaze. “It’s embarrassing and I’m not telling.” 
  * “Okay, don’t _tell_ me, but can you write it down?” 



 

  * Remus exhaled loudly before placing the drink on the counter and nodding at Sirius, feeling absurdly as if this moment right here was a very important one. 
  * Sirius gave him his stupid, bright grin before rotating the cup in his hands and reading what Remus had written.



 

  * “Are you shitting me right now?” Sirius asked incredulously, eyes widening as he turned to stare at a tomato-red Remus. 
  * “I know-I-I _told_ you it was stupid, okay? But that’s what it sounds like every time you say your name, it’s not my fault-Oh my god, this is so fucking embarrassing,” he spluttered, hiding his face behind his hands. 
  * “What? No!” Sirius exclaimed, pressing up against the counter. “That _is_ my name. I just. You knew it all along!” 
  * “ _What?”_ Remus asked, his hands dropping to his sides. “Your name...You. You’re called _Serious?_ Your actual, literal name is _Serious?”_
  * Sirius laughed and shook his head. “Yes, but also no. It’s spelled S-i-r-i-u-s. For the star.” 
  * “Oh my god,” Remus said, too clueless about what else to say now. 
  * Sirius smiled, his heart aching a little at the thought that maybe this was over now. Whatever the hell “this” was. 
  * “Here, gimme,” Remus said, reaching out to get the cup from him. “Let me correct that.”
  * Sirius handed him the cup, feeling a little numb. He was going to miss making Remus smile and blush. 
  * Remus gulped, his throat suddenly feeling parched as he handed back the cup and ran into the backroom with a hasty wave in Sirius’ general direction. 



 

  * _~~“Serious??~~ Sirius. Meet me here after five?”_



 

  * _“Why_ can’t you both just call each other by your designated fucking names?” James groaned, watching Remus and Sirius snuggle up on his couch. “It’s _obnoxious.”_
  * It was true, Sirius and Remus only ever called each other by their names when they were shouting at each other or moaning on top of each other.
  * “It’s our _thing,_ James. You’re just jealous we are more adorable than you and Lily,” Sirius answered with a roll of his eyes. “Right, Remmypoo?” 
  * “Yes, Snuffles,” Remus replied, making googly eyes at his boyfriend before kissing him hard and long enough to make James start complaining again. 



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> COMMENT AND KUDOS = me smiling as I stare at your comment/kudos and also tearing up. but only womanly tears.


	27. Bad Haircuts Ruin LIVES. Who's being dramatic? Not Me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Prompt:** "I was wondering if you'd be willing to write a prompt? I just got a horrible haircut that makes me feel like the ugliest person to ever walk the earth and ugh. Maybe Remus gets a bad cut that just tips him over since he's self concious to begin with and Sirius makes him feel better and see his own beauty or something? Thank you and sorry for bothering you over something so stupid. Anyway, I hope you have a lovely day!"

  * Remus was hiding.
  * He had taken the invisibility cloak and run out of the dorms, not stopping till he was safely tucked into the nook at the very back of the library where no one wanted to come, scared of the dark and the wall that refused to stop vibrating. 
  * He had just wanted to give himself a trim.
  * Remus had lived his entire life with his unruly curls that refused to be tamed, but they were at least tolerable when they weren’t long enough to constantly tickle his eyelids. 
  * So he’d decided to take a pair of scissors and do something about his fringe. 
  * But then he looked weird with long hair all over and then short hair at the front, so he started trimming the hair at the top of his head. 
  * That only ended up in making him look like Arnold from _Hey Arnold!_ and somehow, he ended up shaving all his hair off in weird patches. 
  * And now he was hiding. 



 

  * Remus had always felt worthless. 
  * He didn’t understand why James, Sirius and Peter even wanted to be friends with him, considering how little he brought to the group. 
  * James was the mastermind and the charmer, Sirius was the eye-candy and the controlled evil, and Peter was the funny guy. 
  * Remus was…nothing. 
  * He didn’t have the devious or calculating nature that Sirius and James possessed, didn’t have the dry sense of humour that Peter was loved for and he was definitely not as classically beautiful as Sirius.
  * But he did have his hair. 
  * Well, he had once had hair that made James want to coddle him and made Sirius want to drag him into an abandoned classroom for an impromptu make-out session. 
  * And now he had nothing. 



 

  * “Remus?”
  * Of course. Remus wasn’t even smart enough to cover his tracks properly by taking away the Marauders’ Map before making his escape. 
  * _Fucking useless,_ he thought to himself bitterly as he watched Sirius whisper a soft lumos and look around the library, brow furrowed.
  * “Remus, I know you’re here,” Sirius said, “and I know you have the invisibility cloak so I probably won’t be able to find you. I’m just going to…sit here and wait for you to come out when you’re ready.”
  * Remus rolled his eyes, as if Sirius couldn’t find exactly what corner of the library Remus was sitting in on the Map. 
  * “Why are you here, Sirius?” he asked. 
  * Sirius’ shoulders tensed, eyes flitting to where Remus was sitting. “Why do you think I’m here, Remus? Could it be because my boyfriend has been hiding here since morning, has missed all his classes and his meals, and I am worried?” 
  * Remus felt himself deflate at that. He wasn’t angry at _Sirius,_ he was angry at himself. For being average at everything, for being _useless_ at everything. 
  * “I’ve tried giving you space, Remus, but you haven’t had breakfast and you weren’t there for lunch, and I am worried,” Sirius continued, leaning forward where he was sitting, as if longing to touch Remus, make sure he was okay. “What’s wrong, Moony? Did something happen?”
  * _Stupid, stupid, stupid,_ Remus chanted to himself as his eyes started welling up. The entire situation was stupid. 
  * “I, uh. I don’t want you to see me,” he said finally, hating how wobbly his voice was. 
  * “Why?” Sirius asked, confused. “Did you accidentally eat the enchanted cookies that make your face swell again? Because that’s okay, we can just go to Madam Pomfrey and she’ll-”
  * “No, that’s not…that’s not it,” Remus said. “I…I shaved off my hair.”
  * “ _What?”_ Sirius nearly shouted, eyes going wide. “ _Why?”_
  * “I didn’t _mean_ to!” Remus said, a voice in his head telling him that Sirius probably wouldn’t want to date Remus anymore. And no matter how illogical that voice was, Remus believed it. “I was just trimming my fringe because you know how much it annoys me but I kept cutting and cutting, trying to make it all even and then. Then.”
  * Sirius sat there for a couple more seconds, silence stretching between the two of them. 
  * Sirius straightened up, looking vaguely in the direction of Remus’ voice. “Remus, take the cloak off,” he said in a controlled tone. 
  * “No,” Remus breathed, pulling his knees closer in anxiety. “You’ll hate me, I look hideous.” 
  * “Moony,” Sirius said in a placating voice, getting on his knees and moving towards where Remus was hiding. “Take it off, I want to see you.”
  * Remus’ heart was thudding hard in his chest, palms going sweaty because he _knew_ he wasn’t enough for Sirius, for _anyone_ really, but he’d thought they’d at least make it out of Hogwarts together. 
  * Slowly, Sirius crawled up to where Remus was slumped against the wall and reached out to grab the silky, ethereal material of the invisibility cloak and pulled.
  * Remus closed his eyes, swallowing the lump in his throat and prepared himself for the rejection and ridicule. 
  * Sirius’ eyes widened when he saw Remus’ shaved head, patches of curls still intact above his left ear and the top of his head and some places beaded with blood where he had nicked himself. 
  * Sirius took in a long breath and said, “You look like you were in a fight with a drunk snake who was trying to get you with a knife that it obviously couldn’t hold. And you, quite obviously, lost.”
  * Remus clenched his jaw, finally opening his eyes to see Sirius looking at him without a morsel of amusement, grey eyes calm and serious. 
  * Sirius leaned forward to peck his boyfriend on the lips, smiling softly when he felt Remus gasp in surprise against his mouth, before pulling back and smushing Remus’ adorable face between his hands. “And that still doesn’t change the fact that I am kind of crazy about you.”
  * Remus’ shocked face only made Sirius laugh.
  * “You idiot, what did you think? That I’d break up with you because you’re bald now? Do you really think I’m _that_ shallow?” Sirius asked with a roll of his eyes, getting up and dusting his pants. “C’mon now, let’s go get you some food.”
  * Remus got up, his mind still numb from the brush-off way Sirius was treating the whole issue. He picked up the invisibility cloak off the ground and was just about to wrap himself in it when Sirius stopped him. 
  * “What are you doing?” he asked, folding the cloak. 
  * “Sirius, give it back,” Remus said tiredly. “I don’t want anyone to see me like this.”
  * Sirius swatted his hands away and pulled Remus in a tight hug. 
  * “If you’re really uncomfortable, I’ll give the cloak back to you, but I need you to _listen_ first,” Sirius whispered again his boyfriend’s neck and then pulled back so he could look Remus in the eye.
  * “I know you always compare yourself to others and always demean yourself, I know you don’t think you’re adequate. And it pisses me off _so_ much when you do that because you’re fucking _amazing,”_ Sirius said, eyes alight with passion. “I don’t have words for how amazing you are. You’ve been through _so much,_ you struggle with so much and yet you never show it. It doesn’t matter how down you feel, you’ll put aside everything to be there for others and you never fail to show kindness and compassion. You inspire me, and everyone else, so much, honey, because I _wish_ I could be like you; I wish I could be as smart, as talented and as _kind_ as you are.”
  * Sirius paused to breathe and collect himself before he started bawling. “You’re so much more than who you think you are and I wish you could see yourself the way I see you,” Sirius said, pressing a small kiss to Remus’ nose and watching it scrunch adorably. “Or maybe not, because _I_ think you’re perfect and I don’t want that to go to your head.”
  * Remus gave a watery laugh and pulled Sirius into another bone-crushing hug before the other boy could see the tears in Remus’ eyes. “Did you just call me honey?” Remus asked, trying to lighten the situation and felt Sirius give a breathy laugh against his shoulder. 
  * “I got a little too passionate there,” Sirius commented when they finally pulled apart. “But I mean it. Every word of it. And you can have the cloak if you want. And, oh my god, fuck it, I’ll shave off my hair too and then we can be the-”
  * “Sirius Black, don’t you fucking dare,” Remus said immediately, grabbing Sirius by his wand arm. “You might be all Saint like right now, but trust me, I will dump you so fast if you touch those beautiful hair.”
  * Sirius snorted. “Way to make a guy feel special, Lupin.” 
  * Remus smiled, lacing his fingers through Sirius’ as they walked towards the Great Hall.



 

  * “You look like your barber is a blind bat with industrial sized scissors,” Peter informed him as they walked in for dinner. 
  * “You look like an exceptionally hairy egg,” James said with a giggle. 
  * “Oi, Lupin, what happened to your head?” Avery shouted from the Slytherin table causing everyone to turn and stare at Remus. 
  * “What the fuck did you say, Avery?” James shouted, smile fading and nostrils flaring in anger. 
  * “You slimy little toadstool,” Peter added and Remus had to grab the little guy before he launched himself at Avery. 



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> COMMENT AND KUDOS = my comments/kudos increase, I go to the library, I print out my increasing comments/kudos, I go to my flatmate, I slap the sheet in front of her, I scream in joy.


	28. McGoogles Ships Wolfstar, You Can't Tell Me Otherwise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Prompt:** "Wolfstar hc: prof McGonagall walks in on them slogging in the hall way and then turns to dumbledore standing next to her and gives him 5 galleons"

  * “Sirius, I don’t know what you want me to say to you,” Remus said, voice trembling slightly. 
  * “What you said last night,” Sirius said, taking a step closer to his friend, knowing he was in for a fight.
  * “I…I’m sorry, okay? I shouldn’t have played truth and dare with you guys and I knew the veritaserum was a fucking stupid idea, I never should have agreed with that-”
  * “It was _your_ idea to use veritaserum,” Sirius reminded him, an amused smile making its way on his lips despite the tension in his body. 
  * Remus flushed at that, slouching in on himself as he was backed up against the wall by Sirius. “I’m sorry. I c-can’t help how I feel about you and I don’t…Please don’t stop being my friend just because of that! I-I promise I’ll try to get better. I won’t-I won’t say anything or-”
  * “I like you too, idiot,” Sirius said with a soft smile, nervously tucking his hair behind his ear, cheeks reddening. 
  * “You-you?” Remus sputtered, eyes wide before shaking himself. “I mean, I _know_ you like me. You wouldn’t be friends with me otherwise. But I mean, I don’t want you to stop liking me because of…of how I fe-”
  * “ _Like you’_ as in I am completely head over heels for you, Moony,” Sirius interrupted, eyes trained somewhere behind Remus’ shoulder. “I…I fancy you too, you nincompoop.”
  * “You?” Remus repeated, eyes going impossibly wide as he tripped a step closer to Sirius. “You? What?” 
  * “ _Oh my god, Moony,”_ Sirius groaned, face burning as he pushed his hands into Remus’ soft hair, pulling him back a little so he could look into Remus’ eyes. 
  * Sirius swallowed, breath hitching. Pressing his forehead to Remus’ and leaning in till their noses touched softly, Sirius sighed, eyes fluttering shut for a second before he stared into Remus’ wide, brown eyes. 
  * “Remus, I’m going to kiss you now, okay? Blink once for ‘okay’ and twi-mmff.”
  * Suddenly, Remus’ arms were around Sirius, pulling him in tight, lips slotting together in a hard press. Sirius moaned in the back of his throat and Remus pulled back a little, only to come back to nibble at Sirius’ bottom lip. 
  * Sirius breathed in through his nose, pushing closer till they were pressed together, hands slowly making their way beneath his shirt. He couldn’t help the shiver that ran through him when he felt Remus’ warm, soft skin beneath his hands, so much like his dreams but _so much_ better.
  * When Sirius made another noise, Remus couldn’t stop himself anymore; pushing back he panted as his eyes flitted over the other boy. Sirius’ hair were a mess from where Remus had been running his fingers through it, lips swollen and shiny, and eyes nearly black with need. 
  * Before he could completely appreciate the beauty that was a dishevelled yet sexy Sirius Black, he was being grabbed by the collars and pulled into another messy kiss. 
  * “Please don’t stop,” Sirius breathed against Remus’ mouth. “ _Dear god,_ never stop.” 



 

  * Mcgonagall smirked where she was standing at the other end of the hallway, raising a smug eyebrow in the wizened Headmaster’s direction. 
  * “Shouldn’t you be dealing with student indecency, Professor, instead of robbing old men?” Dumbledore grumbled as he searched his pockets for the five galleons he now owed Mcgonagall, the twinkle in his eyes betraying his annoyed tone. 
  * “Just pay up, Albus,” Minerva answered, mouth tightening at the edges as she watched Potter and Pettigrew show up out of thin air and shower the oblivious couple with glitter and flowers while dancing around them. “I don’t get payed enough for dealing with these hooligans anyway.” 
  * “You love them,” Dumbledore said, handing her the money before sighing. “Always thought it would be James and Sirius.” 



Bonus: “They do seem to have some…” Mcgonagall said, eyeing up where James was practically climbing up Sirius, “… _boundary_ issues.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> COMMENT AND KUDOS = the section of my brain called "Unhealthy Dependence of Self Worth on Social Approval" becomes thicker.


	29. My Attempt At Making An Asexuality Drabble Not Depressing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Prompt:** "are you taking prompts? i love your writing and i was wondering if you could write something about Sirius realising he's ace? it's my favorite hp headcanon :) x"

  * Sirius wasn’t ashamed of himself. 
  * He wasn’t ashamed that he liked men, he wasn’t ashamed that he wanted the whole flowers and chocolates type of romance and he certainly wasn’t ashamed that he had no interest in sexual intimacy. 
  * But sometimes, he did wish that he wasn’t the way that he was. 
  * It would make life so much easier if he didn’t have to sort through the hoards of boys his age to find the ones that weren’t disgustingly heterosexual, if he didn’t have to sort through the fuckboi’s to find the keepers and it would make his entire existence pain-free if he didn’t have to nurse _another_ broken heart because his boyfriend had misunderstood his lack of interest in sex as a lack of interest in being together. 
  * _Again._



 

  * _“Prongs,”_ Sirius slurred from where he sat on the floor next to his bed, a bottle of firewhisky clutched loosely in his hand. “You’re a disgusting human being, you barely ever shower and have an _obnoxious_ personality. How the _hell_ do you manage to keep Lily interested?”
  * “Wow, tone down the compliments, honey, I’m really feelin’ the love today,” James answered dryly, drunkenly rubbing his cheek against the soft cloth of Sirius’ pants and bringing down Sirius’ free hand to pet him again. 
  * “You know what I mean,” Sirius said offhandedly. “I am a _great_ boyfriend. Adrian was always on top of my priori- _prioritiss_. I serenaded him in the fucking great hall, I went out of my way to make him laugh when he was upset. Why would he just…why’d he just drop me then, huh?” 
  * “I don’ know, mate,” James mumbled, eyes drooping. “He’s an arse, forget him. Date me, instead. I’d take care o’ you, give you some of that Potter lovin’-” 
  * “Ew, gross,” Sirius said with a wrinkled nose. “That would be like…dating _Regulus._ Ugh.” 
  * “James, are you in here?” Remus’ voice said with a knock on the door. “Can I come in?” 
  * Sirius couldn’t help but giggle at that. “You’re so polite, Moony. So chival…I can’t word,” he said with another hysterical giggle as Remus entered their dorm room, Peter following him. 
  * “Are you guys _drunk?”_ Peter said, eyes wide. “You missed classes to get _drunk?_ Are you insane?”
  * “Peter, shh,” Sirius said, dropping his head back against the frame of his bed and closing his eyes. “I’m saaaad, I couldn’t go to class like that.”
  * “Why? What’s wrong?” Remus said in resignation, knowing there was no way to convince Sirius to attend classes after the lunch break was over when he was so drunk. 
  * “The love of my life, my guiding light, my beautiful boyfriend, Adrian,” Sirius said with a loud sigh, “has dumped me. Yes, Moony, I know. It’s unbelievable. How could someone dump such a beautiful creature like me? We will never know, Remmykins. Never.” 
  * Peter just rolled his eyes at Sirius’ drunken flair, grabbing the bottle from his hands and taking a swing before settling himself on Sirius’ other side. “But just last night you guys were obnoxiously making out in the common room.”
  * Sirius nodded sadly. “And then he took me to his room and broke up with me.”
  * “What? _Why?_ ” Remus asked in indignation at his friend’s behalf. 
  * “Because I wouldn’t put out,” Sirius said bitterly, a pang of sadness sobering him up a little. “Because I told him I didn’t want to have sex with him. I thought…I loved him, you know? And I-I was going to ask him to move in with me after Hogwarts, but…” 
  * “Wait, what?” James asked in surprise, looking up at Sirius. “I thought…But you guys have been together for more than six months! I thought you’d already…you know, done the do.” 
  * Sirius rolled his eyes at his best friend. “How are you going to give me some of that sweet, Potter lovin’, James, when you can’t even say the word sex without cringing?” Sirius asked in exasperation. “And no, we hadn’t done the do because I don’t _want_ to do the do.”
  * “Why not?” Remus asked in confusion because of course Remus Fuckboi Lupin would be confused by the concept of someone not wanting to have sex.
  * “It’s so…Why do you _want_ to have sex?” Sirius countered.
  * “Because it’s fun. And orgasms,” Remus answered, James nodding along emphatically. 
  * “Well, I think it’s unnecessary, boring and feels like…nothing. I don’t…” Sirius stuttered. He’d never talked about his lack of interest in sex, not even to himself. He’d simply accepted that he just wasn’t like everyone else. “I just don’t feel the same _need_ that you guys feel. To me, sex is just this unnecessary thing you do to ejaculate and _oh my god_ , this conversation is really killing my buzz.”
  * “So you’re ace?” Peter asked as he handed back the firewhisky to Sirius. 
  * “Of course, I’m ace,” Sirius said with a wide grin. “I’m Sirius fucking Black, I’m the acest of them all.”
  * “No, not like…” Remus started, with a shake of his head and a fond smile. “What he means is, are you asexual?”
  * Sirius looked completely taken aback by that. “Are you calling me a plant, Moony?” Sirius deadpanned.
  * “No, Padfoot, I’m not calling you a plant because that would make no sense,” Remus said patiently, the doting smile still in place. “Asexual people are people who don’t feel sexual attraction to anyone.”
  * “What do you mean ‘asexual people?’” Sirius asked, eyes wide. “There are more?” 
  * “There’s one right in front of you,” Remus answered, nodding his head towards Peter who waved lamely. 
  * “Peter is a plant too?” Sirius said in childlike glee and awe. “Peter is like me?” 
  * “Yes, Peter is,” Peter answered with a grin. 
  * “But…you and Mary have been together since fifth year. Why didn’t she break up with you? Is she asect-asek-ace too?” Sirius asked. 
  * “No, but I told her that I was asexual and that I didn’t want a sexual relationship, and she understood,” Peter answered with a shrug. 
  * Eyes still the size of tennis balls, Sirius turned his gaze to a sleeping James in his lap before meeting Remus’ smiling eyes. “Did you hear that, Moony? Peter found someone who was okay with who he is…He didn’t have to-to _lie_ or do something he didn’t want to,” Sirius said in awe. “Maybe I could find someone too, then?” 
  * “Of course, you’ll find someone,” Peter said, sharing a secret sort of smile with a blushing Remus. 
  * “Yeah,” Remus agreed, running his fingers through Sirius’ soft hair. “You’re extremely brave, you’re kind even though you’re sometimes an asshole and you have the biggest heart ever. Anyone would be lucky to have you as their boyfriend.” 
  * “I know,” Sirius said with a grin and Remus just snorted. 
  * “C’mon, let’s get both of you sobered up,” Peter said, smacking James on the head to wake him up. 



 

  * Sirius wasn’t ashamed of himself. 
  * He wasn’t ashamed of his dingy apartment in the bad part of London, he wasn’t ashamed of his weird friends and he certainly wasn’t ashamed of the life he lived with his boyfriend of nearly six years. 
  * But as he stared wide eyed at the ring Remus was holding out, he wished he had found himself someone less competitive for himself. 
  * “I _told_ you I’d propose first,” the little shit told him as he slipped the ring onto Sirius’ finger before leaning forward to peck him on the lips. 



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> COMMENT AND KUDOS = a little duckling somewhere is told that it doesn't need to be beautiful to be loved.


	30. Concussed Sirius Makes An Ass Of Himself While Freaking Remus Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Prompt:** "So.. you take writing promps? 'Cause I had a little random idea pop in my head: wolfstar modern AU with "I accidentally hit you with my car and was the only one to visit you in the hospital."

  * “ _Everywhere_ you go they stop and stare,” Sirius crooned, not sure if his enunciation of all the words was actually messed up or if he was hearing things wrong. “Cause you’re bad an’ it shows. From your head to your…to your….knees? I can’t remember.”
  * “Are you…Are you trying to sing [Mario](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H64QG4UsrGI) to me _after I nearly ran you over with my car?”_ the brown haired Angel cried in shock. 
  * Sirius could feel a dopey smile coming onto his face. “’Course! I’m tryna _woo_ you so maybe…you can like, gimme a free pass to heaven.” 
  * “Oh my god, are you high or did I concuss you when I _nearly ran you over with my car?”_ Angel said, sounding near hysterics and Sirius found himself frowning in concern. 
  * He put all his strength into raising his hand and flopping it onto Angel’s arm, trying to be reassuring. “It’s ‘kay, Angel. Don’t be sad, I won’t sue you. I’ll be fine,” Sirius said, patting him. 
  * “Why are you patting the road?” Angel said, sounding even more panicked. 
  * “ _Whoops,”_ Sirius giggled. “Thought it was your arm.” 
  * “Oh my god, where is the ambulance?” 
  * “Angel. Hey, Angel,” Sirius said. When he felt the other boy’s frantic gaze settle on his face, he gave him a smile. “ _Ooooh, Angel,_[Earth Angel](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P01YX_2oGz8), will you be mine?” he sang, “My darlin’ dear, love you all the time. ‘M just a fool, a fool in love with-” 
  * “ _Oh my god,_ stop flirting with me, you could be _dead_ right now!” Angel exclaimed, flailing his noodle like limbs. “I could’ve _killed_ you!” 
  * “I would’ve been honoured to be killed by you,” Sirius answered seriously.
  * “ _Jesus Christ,”_ Angel said.
  * “Angel, that’s blasphemy,” Sirius said, eyes wide in concern. “They’ll tear your wings out and throw you out of heaven.” Frowning in thought, Sirius said, “But it’s okay, I’ll take care of you. You can drink red bull and get your wings back. [Red bull](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K31dg86OmuM) is like this human, energy dr-”
  * “Please,” Angel whispered. “Please stop talking, you’re freaking me out.” 



 

  * “Will he be okay?” Remus asked the doctor, watching Sirius try and count his fingers, which wouldn’t be too bad if he could see that he still had five fingers, and there wasn’t an ‘extra, green, alien thumb’ there too. 
  * “Well, he’s concussed pretty bad, but he should be fine,” Doctor Pomfrey said with a kind smile. “I’ll keep him under observation for the next 24 hours, just to be sure.”
  * “Okay,” Remus breathed. “Thank you.” 
  * Just then, the nurse who had introduced himself as Caleb came inside with a worried-confused look on his face and whatever relief Remus had felt vanished instantly. 
  * “Um, Doctor, I called up his emergency contact and…she _refused_ to come see him?” he said, looking even more bewildered now that he’d said it out loud. 
  * “Tha’ would be my mother dearest,” Sirius said from behind them, giving them a lopsided grin. “It’s okay. I’d let her die too.” 
  * The three of them frowned in return, Remus’ mouth pulling down at the corners in sympathy and distaste. 
  * “Who else can we contact to take care of the official stuff then?” Pomfrey asked Sirius gently, eyes twinkling with concern. 
  * “I don’ know, mate,” Sirius mumbled, burying his head into the pillow. “My dad’s dead, my mother is a psy- _psychopath_ and my brother’s an asshole. I don’ know.” 
  * “We have his phone,” Caleb said after a short, stunned silence. “I can try calling someone from his call log that he talked to recently?” 
  * “Yes, let’s do that,” Doctor Pomfrey said, leading Caleb out.
  * Remus stood awkwardly at the edge of the room, wondering if he should stay or if he should leave. He didn’t _want_ to leave, he felt too guilty, especially now that he knew that Sirius had no one, but he wasn’t sure what the appropriate behaviour was for _nearly running someone over._
  * “How do you feel?” he asked, stepping closer to Sirius’ bed. 
  * Sirius whipped his head around to give Remus a dazzling smile. “Everything hurts.” 
  * “Why are you smiling then?” Remus asked, feeling himself grin too. 
  * “You’re beautiful,” Sirius said solemnly and Remus’ face turned red. “It’s making me very happy.” 
  * “My beauty is?” Remus asked teasingly. He knew he wasn’t ‘beautiful,’ but Sirius’ dopey behaviour was too hilarious for him to be offended that only concussed people found him beautiful. 
  * Sirius nodded. “I think you should marry me. So I can smile forever.” 
  * “But we just met!” Remus grinned. 
  * “Angel,” Sirius started and Remus was shocked to see _actual tears_ in his eyes. “Don’t say that! What will happen to our children if you leave me?” 
  * “We have _children?”_ Remus was very, very confused. 
  * “We don’t have them _now,_ but we will one day!Elvendork and Bessie,” Sirius answered. “Don’t do this to our one-day children, Angel!” 
  * “Go to sleep, Sirius,” Remus said, chuckling at the other guy. 
  * “Promish you’ll marry me?” Sirius mumbled, eyes already half closed. 
  * “I promise,” Remus said, pushing away Sirius’ long, dark hair out of his eyes. “But I’m _not_ letting you name our children.” 



 

  * “Bessie,” Sirius crooned. “Bessieeeee, say ‘Dada.’ Say ‘Dada is the best’ or I will disown you.” 
  * Remus rolled his eyes, watching his husband cradle their daughter to his chest. “Stop calling her that! And stop teaching her false information!” 
  * “I will call my little nugget whatever I want,” Sirius said, pressing a kiss to Beatrice’s forehead. 
  * And then a miracle happened. 
  * Beatrice opened her eyes, blinking hard at Sirius before wailing, “ _Papa!”_
  * There was complete silence for a minute before Remus let out a stunned, “Did she just…” 
  * Sirius scowled, handing Beatrice over to Remus before grabbing their five year old son off the couch and hugging him. “Whatever,” he mumbled bitterly. “Elvendork said Dada first.” 
  * _“His name is Elliot!”_



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> COMMENT AND KUDOS = the duckling from The Ugly Duckling realises that beauty is a socially constructed concept with ever changing standards, learning that shes beautiful no matter what anyone else says. She learns that I believe in her.


	31. Sober and Non-Concussed Sirius Makes An Ass Of Himself But Also Endears Remus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Prompt:** "Will you please do "I threw a croissant at my dick of a best friend and it accidentally hit you I'm sorry?" with wolfstar"

  * Sirius managed to stay still and quiet for about thirty seconds before giving in and asking James, “What’s he doing now?”
  * James sighed, placing his cup of coffee back on the table as he tolled his eyes in exasperation. “The same thing he was doing a minute ago; attending to customers.” 
  * “Yeah, but is he like, sneaking glances at us and blushing?” Sirius asked eagerly, ignoring his croissant and tea. 
  * “Sirius, why are we here again?” James asked in a tired voice.  
  * “You _know_ why,” Sirius answered, frowning. “I’m trying to woo Remus.”
  * “I’m pretty sure Remus doesn’t even know you’re wooing him! To him, you’re probably just another person that loves making small talk and stuffing croissants in his gob!” James replied, voice rising in annoyance. 
  * “B-but I also tip him _extremely_ generously every day!” Sirius said petulantly. “Other small talkers don’t do that! And I constantly compliment him.” 
  * “Telling him the way he rolls his sleeves is fantastic is not complimenting him,” James said, eyes flickering behind Sirius’ shoulders for a second before settling back on his best friend, lip curling slightly in a smirk. “Neither is telling him that he has beautiful, childbearing hips! That’s fucking weird! You’re going to get us thrown out one day.” 
  * “I got nervous, okay? He’s just so beautiful, I get nervous and start blabbering,” Sirius said hopelessly. 
  * “His beauty still isn’t enough reason for you to drag me here everyday,” James complained. “You don’t even _like_ tea!” 
  * “Are you shitting me right now, James? Who cares about fucking _tea!_ Have you _seen_ his face? His _hair?”_ Sirius said earnestly, leaning forward on the table in his excitement to talk about the beauty that was Remus, Saint Curly Hair. “And his _eyes,_ Jesus Christ! You could literally, actually, _really_ drown in those beautiful, brown eyes. I could write sonnets about his stupid smile. I could write _essays_ about the lame jokes he makes an-”
  * Sirius sputtered to a halt, eyes going impossibly wide when a tomato red Remus walked by their table to go clean the one next to theirs. 
  * Floundering and breathing hard, Sirius looked to James for sympathy and suggestion when he noticed how _smug_ his fucking ex-best friend looked. 
  * “You _knew!”_ he hissed, pointing an accusatory finger at a cackling James. “You fucking douchenozzle! You’re meant to be my _best friend!”_
  * Wanting to hurt him somehow and not knowing what to do, Sirius picked up his untouched croissant and lobbed it at a still laughing James. Only, he had the hand-eye coordination of a drunk baby deer trying to ice skate and ended up rocketing the croissant straight at Remus’ flushed face. 
  * “Oh. My. God,” he whispered, his heart beating at an alarming rate as James fell of his chair in his fit of laughter. 
  * Remus froze for a second, staring at the croissant on the floor in shock before clearing his throat noisily and picking it up. “Um, I’ll, um, get you another one,” he told Sirius, looking at his nose instead of meeting his eye. 
  * “Fuck, fuck, I hate you, I fucking hate you so much,” Sirius chanted, planting his face firmly on the cold surface of the table. “Why does this always happen to me?” he whined, just as he heard a plate being placed in front of him. 
  * Remus stood there awkwardly for a second, wringing his hands in nervousness. “It’s fine, you don’t have to be embarrassed,” he said in a rushed tone before pacing away from them. 
  * Sirius glared at James who seemed to be getting a cardiac attack from laughing too hard before noticing a piece of paper beneath his croissant. 
  * He stopped breathing completely as he snatched the paper in his excitement, finding a loopy, messy handwriting scrawled upon it with a number at the bottom. 
  * _Call me if you’re interested still. I’ll teach you how I roll my sleeves :) -Remus xx_
  * Sirius grinned, showing the paper to James and pulling out his phone already. 
  * “I’m still burning your friendship bracelet later,” Sirius informed him as he typed a message to Remus. 



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> COMMENT AND KUDOS = I do my happy dance.


	32. My Oblivious Son Gets Wooed Without Realising It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Prompt:** "so based on that post with non-stereotypical marauders, would you consider writing something where sirius is a space nerd who always drags remus outside at night for astronomy homework and Scientific Research but remus subtly starts turning these into dates while sirius remains oblivious? thank you :)"

  * It started the day Sirius received a letter from his family, stamped with the official Black family seal and announcing Sirius’ disownment. 
  * Although he somehow managed to organize the best party the Gryffindor common room had ever witnessed, Remus can tell how hard the letter had hit Sirius. 
  * So when he found him drunk and uncannily still out on the Astronomy tower, completely oblivious of the couple making out messily a couple feet away from him, Remus wasn’t exactly surprised. 
  * “You okay, Padfoot?” Remus asked as he sat beside him hesitantly. 
  * “Hmm?” Sirius mumbled, looking up with a dazed expression. “Oh yeah, I’m fantastic. Just…y’know needed some air.” 
  * “And you had to come up here in minus four fucking degrees for air?” Remus said with a shudder, trying to rub some heat into his arms. 
  * “They don’t seem to care either,” Sirius replied with a small nod in the couple’s direction, who were still make disgusting slurpy noises and trying to climb all over each other. 
  * “Well, they have body heat,” Remus answered, wrinkling his nose. “And _arousal.”_
  * Sirius snorted in response before they fell into a weird, stunted silence.
  * “Which one are you?” Remus asked, pointing at the sky, when he couldn’t take how _still_ and _quiet_ Sirius was being anymore. Sirius was all flailing limbs and rushed words, this wasn’t Sirius. Not _his_ Sirius. 
  * “The brightest one,” Sirius replied in the same dead tone that made something cold settle in Remus’ stomach. Sirius heaved a shaky sigh, breath pushing a foggy cloud in front of his face as he turned to give Remus a broken smile. “Not bright enough, eh?”
  * “You _physically_ cannot get any brighter,” Remus answered passionately, hating the slump of his friend’s shoulders. “You’re the best human being I’ve ever known.” 
  * Sirius scoffed bitterly at that, pushing his hands into his hair and pulling at them slightly in frustration. “How can you even say that, Moony? After all that I’ve done to you and all that I’ve put you through.”
  * “I’d go through hell for you,” Remus said and _fuck,_ it wasn’t supposed to come out like that, he hadn’t wanted to sound so…in love. But it was too late to back out now. “You’re worth it.”
  * Sirius stared unseeingly at Remus for a few seconds, mouth open and slack, before he seemed to shake himself out of it and shut his mouth with a loud clack, a flush spreading from his neck to his ears. Clearing his throat, Sirius moved closer to Remus, wrapping his arms stiffly around him. 
  * When Remus gave him a questioning look, Sirius just gives him a shy smile and shrugged. “Body heat,” he mumbled. 



 

  * After that, it sort of became a thing for them.
  * It didn’t matter if they had plans with the other boys or had pranks to prepare for, Sirius would find the time to drag Remus to the Astronomy tower with him. 
  * Remus learnt that Sirius was a huge, dorky space nerd. He also learnt that it wasn’t, in fact, impossible for him to love Sirius any more. 
  * “…and how fucking ace is that? That there are just these huge voids in space that just _eat everything up,”_ Sirius exclaimed, eyes wide with excitement.
  * “That’s pretty fucking terrifying actually,” Remus commented, gently pushing the plate of sandwiches he had stolen from the kitchen in Sirius’ direction.
  * “Well, I mean, _yeah,_ but it’s also so cool!” Sirius continued, ripping apart bites of the sandwich like a dog and chewing with his mouth open. 
  * Remus really shouldn’t find that adorable, but well, he had already accepted that he was too gone on the boy to be disturbed by the intensity of his crush. 
  * “I also have chocolate and muffins,” Remus informed Sirius when he had gobbled down a couple sandwiches and finished his Black Holes Are More Cool Than Terrifying rant. “What do you want first?”
  * “Moony,” Sirius breathed out, eyes wide. “Why’d you get so much stuff?”
  * Remus shrugged, willing his blush down. “I knew you had missed lunch so I thought…”
  * Sirius beamed at that, laying a sloppy, smacking kiss against Remus’ slightly stubbly cheek and snatching the chocolate from Remus. “You’re such a mom,” he teased. “So. As I was saying. Wait, what _was_ I saying? Oh yeah! I wonder if we can rocket Snape into a black hole. I mean, it…”
  * Remus pressed a dazed hand against the spot that had just felt Sirius’ incredibly soft lips and smiled. 



 

  * “There you are!” Sirius exclaimed when he saw Remus walk across the quidditch pitch to where Sirius was lounging. “I was starting to think you weren’t going to show up.” 
  * “I had to pick these up for you,” Remus said shyly, pressing the bouquet of roses into Sirius’ hands. “I, uh, saw them yesterday near the forest and…yeah. Peter helped me arrange them.” 
  * “Remus, they’re so fucking pretty,” Sirius said, grinning from ear to ear. “Thank you so much. I love them. Now I feel like I should give you something too but I don’t really have anything.” 
  * Remus smiled slightly, staring at his hands. “You could give me grass and I’d be happy with it.” 
  * Sirius seemed completely taken aback with that, eyebrows furrowing and for a second, Remus’ heart plundered against his chest, scared and excited that maybe, just _maybe,_ Sirius would finally _understand_. 
  * But instead, Sirius gave an awkward, throaty sort of laugh, shoving at Remus’ shoulder playfully. “You’re so fucking cheesy, it’s not even funny,” he said, carefully placing the bouquet across his lap. “Anyway, today’s topic: mythology and the stars. It’s so _fascinating,_ Moony.”
  * Remus considered it a sign of his strength that he stopped himself from slamming his face into the dirt and screaming. 



 

  * There was no way that Sirius would miss it this time. 
  * Remus had arrived at the entrance courtyard half an hour earlier than planned to set up a picnic but with _candles._
  * There was wine. 
  * And fancy wine glasses that had required excellent Transfiguration skills on Remus’ part. 
  * “Ooh, smart thinking, Remus,” Sirius commented as he plonked down next to Remus and took a long swing straight from the wine bottle, forgoing Remus’ precious wine glasses. “I really needed this after the day I’ve had,” he said briefly before taking another long sip. 
  * If Remus wasn’t completely captivated by the candle light flickering across Sirius’ lashes, he probably would have run off, shouting like a lunatic when Sirius raised a brow and asked, “What’s with the candles?”



 

  * Remus sat down next to Sirius in the Great Hall and Sirius pushed a plate of bacon towards him without breaking his conversation with Peter. 
  * “Thanks,” Remus mumbled sleepily, piling on eggs and toast too before pouring both of them orange juice. 
  * “Moons, what time are me meeting tonight? I have to go do the thing with James first,” Sirius asked, absently grabbing Remus’ free hand and tracing tingling patterns on its back. 
  * Before Remus could respond, James groaned on the other side of the table. “Guys, you need to set up specific days for date nights,” he grumbled and Remus was very awake, very suddenly, eyes wide. “You can’t keep ditching on pranking plans every night.”
  * Sirius sputtered and choked on his orange juice while Remus stared at James in alarm and shock, body frozen in embarrassment. 
  * “What?” James asked in confusion, staring between the two. 
  * “We’re not-” Sirius said before choking again and Remus couldn’t tell if he was red because of the choking or the embarrassment. “Prongs! What the hell?”
  * “What?” James repeated, brow furrowing. “What did I say?”
  * “James, he doesn’t,” Remus mumbled while quietly requesting Merlin to smite him right then and there. 
  * “They’re not _dates,”_ Sirius finished his earlier sentence and Remus just shook his head hopelessly. 
  * “Wait, what?” Peter asked, turning to Remus. “Moony, didn’t you tell him?”
  * “Tell me what?” Sirius demanded. 
  * “Mate, no offence, but you’ve been dating for a month now,” James said, amusement twinkling in his eyes. 
  * “We’re _what?”_ Sirius exclaimed and Remus stared at the ceiling, trying to glare it into falling on top of him. “We’ve been dating for a _month?_ What? Moony, why didn’t you tell me?” 
  * “I didn’t-Sirius, I bought you flowers, I stole dinner for you, I got you _presents,_ I organized a fucking candle light dinner for us,” Remus grumbled. “I didn’t know how to make it clearer to you.” 
  * “But!” Sirius looked flabbergasted as he threw his hands in the air, mouth agape. “Where are my kisses, Remus? How the hell is a man to know that he’s been courted if there are no _kisses?”_
  * Remus blushed, suddenly feeling incredibly shy. “You want that?” 
  * Sirius rolled his eyes at that, sliding himself closer to Remus on the bench till his knees were pressed against Remus’ thighs. He slipped his fingers into Remus’ hair, pressing down gently to get him to face Sirius. 
  * Leaning forward till Remus could feel Sirius’ breath ghosting on his lips, Sirius nudged his nose against the other boy’s. 
  * “Of course I want that,” he whispered, smiling slightly when Remus’ went crosseyed in his attempt to stare at Sirius’ lips. “I want everything with you.” 



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> COMMENT AND KUDOS = I'll eat toast in the shower.


	33. My Pathetic Attempt At Writing Hot Fickle Frackling ;)))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Prompt:** "Hi..i love your work and you just reblogged this prompts post so I thought you might take this."We were both playing wingman for our friends who have now decided to go home together, and after five minutes of conversation we fucking hate each other, let’s bang it out AU" with wolfstar please.

**Warning:** Hella NSFW but very non graphic. 

  * Remus hated the long haired man the moment he saw him. 
  * He just looked like the kind of person that would refuse to tip someone because of a small mistake they’d made, the kind of person who had gold plated cuff links, the kind of person that _wore_ cufflinks. 
  * Nonetheless, he gave a polite smile to him when Lily stole his friend from him, leaving them both looking at each other awkwardly. 
  * “So I guess you were on wingman duty too,” Remus said because he couldn’t _not_ say anything. 
  * The long haired man’s admittedly handsome face twisted into a scowl as he watched Lily and James flirt on his other side. “I wasn’t on wingman duty,” he said bitterly. “I was supposed to be on celebrating with my best mate duty, but apparently all it takes for James to forget about me is a pretty little bird.” 
  * Immediately, Remus felt his hackles rise, his smile dropping off the face of the _planet_ and his nostrils flaring. “Lily is much more than just some ‘pretty little bird.’ Your friend is lucky she chose to approach him when she could have had anyone in here.” 
  * “Mm, I’m sure,” Obnoxious Asshole answered, taking a sip of his drink in disinterest. “She _does_ seem like the kind that works for everyone.”
  * “Is that meant to be an insult?” Remus snapped back. “Because, let me tell you, being someone that can be loved by anyone is much better than being a little piece of shit that no one could ever care for.” 
  * When Remus saw Jackass McJerkinson wince, he felt almost guilty for saying that, but then he was turning to face Remus fully, placing his drink on the counter and sneering derisively.
  * “Well, you would know _all_ about that, wouldn’t you?” he said, looking as pissed off as Remus. His grey eyes gave Remus a contemptuous once over. “What is that outfit, anyway? What did you do, rob a thrift store? Bet it wouldn’t have cost more than 1 pound.”
  * Remus sputtered for a second, the comment hitting a little too close to the sea of his insecurities. “Listen here, you fucking brat,” he hissed, taking a threatening step towards him till they were nearly nose to nose. “You don’t get to look down on people who didn’t have it as easy as you did, okay? Bet if mommy and daddy weren’t supporting you, you wouldn’t even be wearing thrift shop clothes. You’d be on streets, starving, because fucking softies like you never learn how to work hard, do you?” 
  * The other man twitched a little, hands reaching forward before curling into fists at his sides and eyes darting down to Remus’ lips. A hot flame licked at the bottom of Remus’ spine when he saw him look down at his mouth with hunger in his eyes. 
  * “Say something,” Remus almost pleaded because suddenly, the realisation that they were both in each other’s faces, panting through their anger, was too much for him. They were close enough to feel each other’s every breath ghosting over each other’s lips and it was _too much._
  * _“Sirius,”_ Handsome Jerkwad blurted out suddenly, rosy pink tongue darting out to wet his bottom lip, catching Remus’ avid attention. “My name is Sirius,” he added, pupils large and diluted. 
  * “O-okay?” Remus breathed out, suddenly feeling dazed under the intensity of Sirius’ gaze. “I’m Remus,” he said because he didn’t know what else to say and the blood from his brain seemed to be trickling downwards, making thought very hard. 
  * “Hi, Remus,” Sirius said with a small smirk, bringing his hand forward to rest it at Remus’ hip, pulling them further together. “You’re obviously pissed at me. What do you say, should we go somewhere more private so we can… _talk_ things through?”
  * Remus swallowed. “Definitely.” 



 

  * Sirius gasped when he felt Remus’ teeth scrape against the sensitive skin of his neck before settling on the curve of his shoulder, lips pressing light kisses to his skin. 
  * “Y-you can mark me,” Sirius said, a shiver running through him when Remus licked a line up the side of his neck. “Hickeys, bites, anything. They’re very, _very_ welcome.” 
  * “You sure?” Remus mumbled, voice muffled when he took the lobe of Sirius’ ear to gently nibble on it. 
  * “I am _so_ sure,” Sirius answered. His hands seemed to have a mind of their own as they traced the lines of Remus’ naked back, his nails digging into the soft skin when Remus bit down on the juncture of Sirius’ neck, making him cry out and arch against the door. “God fucking dammit, _more,”_ he managed to moan. 
  * Remus chuckled against his throat, the vibrations from the sound making Sirius shudder pleasantly, but obliged anyway. 



 

  * The moment After, with the capital ‘A,’ was oddly quiet and oddly peaceful. 
  * They both lay next to each other on the floor, somehow never managing to reach the bed, breathing hard as they stared at the ceiling. Remus didn’t know what to say, he’d never had hate sex before and he wasn’t sure what the proper etiquette was for After. 
  * So he lay there and waited for Sirius to either say something or to fall asleep so he could escape. 
  * “Remus?” Sirius whispered when they could breathe without panting. 
  * “Hmm?” Remus asked, equally quiet, not sure why they were whispering but not wanting to break the magic of the moment either. 
  * Sirius shuffled till he was on his side, watching Remus till he huffed a breath and turned to face Sirius too. They were close enough that he could see Sirius’ Adam’s apple bobble when he swallowed nervously. 
  * “I know you think I’m an asshole and I know I’ve not given you any evidence to the contrary, but…” he mumbled, looking at Remus’ chest rather than meeting his eyes. “I’m not like that. Like how you think I am.” 
  * Remus frowned, trying not to get sidetracked by the pretty purple bruises all over Sirius’ pale skin. “I don’t know what to say,” he said honestly. 
  * “Then let me,” Sirius replied eagerly, hand fidgeting towards Remus before he stopped himself. Remus frowned harder at that and reached out to hold Sirius’ hand in his, making Sirius give him a grateful smile. 
  * Remus just shrugged. “If you can jerk me off against your front door, you can most certainly hold my hand,” he said with a grin. 
  * Sirius choked on his spit, blushing red. “ _Anyway,”_ he said, quickly diverting Remus’ attention from his face. “I just…I’m having a really bad day and I’m sorry that I was such a dickhead to you and to Lily. That wasn’t fair of me.”
  * “No, it wasn’t,” Remus conceded, letting his other hand brush the loose strands of dark hair away from Sirius’ face. “But to be honest, I probably wouldn’t have jumped down your throat like that if I hadn’t already assumed that you’d be a rich brat.” 
  * “Well, I proved you right, didn’t I?” Sirius said guiltily, shoulders slumping sadly. 
  * “Hey, it’s okay,” Remus said gently, caressing Sirius’ stubbly cheek. “We were both jerks to each other. Let’s move on now.” 
  * Sirius smiled slightly. “Let’s start by moving off the floor because it’s making my everything hurt,” he said, making Remus chuckle as they helped each other off the floor. “Um, you can go clean yourself up in the bathroom and I can have a plate of cake ready for you if you want?” Sirius asked hesitantly. 
  * “Ooh, what’s the occasion?” Remus asked, picking up his clothes off the floor. 
  * “It’s kind of my birthday today,” Sirius said awkwardly and Remus looked up in alarm. 
  * “What?” Remus exclaimed. “It’s your birthday today?” 
  * “Yeah,” he answered sheepishly. “That’s why I was so pissed off. My parents, they…Well, they don’t care about me and I was sad about that and then James had to go ditch me and it just…spiralled from there.” 
  * Remus frowned at that and Sirius immediately wanted to take back everything he’d said just to make Remus smile again. But Remus was shaking it off within the next minute, smiling as he wrapped his arms around Sirius. 
  * “Well, you don’t need James or your parents to celebrate your special day,” he said with an impish smile. “You just need me, giving you a very special birthday boy blowjob.”
  * Sirius blushed again, biting his lip as he looked up at Remus from beneath his lashes. “You don’t have to,” he said quietly.
  * Remus’ grin just widened, turning almost predatory as he let his hand trail down till it was cupping Sirius between the legs. “Oh but I _want_ to.” 



*jazz hands* 

I’m shit at writing smut, I know that, but I really want to write good, explicit stuff because it makes me feel like I’m evolving and developing as a writer. Forgive me if this is poor form but I am trying to get better :) 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> COMMENT AND KUDOS = I'll eat cereal with coke instead of milk.......again......even though I vowed never to again.


	34. My Rarepair: McG/Pompoms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Prompt:** "Your "pay up, Dumbledore" wolfstar one shot made me realize how much I crave stories of McGonagall and Dumbledore hanging out. Just beesin' friends. I wonder if he comforted her when her husband died. I wonder if they were best friends."

**Important note:** According to Pottermore, Minerva was in love with a muggle by the name of Dougle McGregor whom she could not marry without either sacrificing her magical abilities by hiding them forever or without breaking the International Statute of Secrecy. So she declined his proposal and abstained from other romantic relationships until Dougle died, after which she decided to marry Elphinstone Urquart, her former employer.

  * Minerva wasn’t surprised when she felt a hand come to rest on her shoulder as she stood by the freshly dug grave, rain pouring down hard on her shaking body.
  * “Minerva,” Albus Dumbledore, her mentor turned friend’s calm voice said. “You’ve been here all day, you need to go home now. Standing here isn’t benefitting anyone.” 
  * _Dougle McGregor, 12 March, 1936 - 27 June, 1981,_ read the gravestone, a plain, grey granite rectangle that didn’t seem to do justice to how kind and happy Dougle had been in life.
  * It was a mockery of the man who refused to wear anything but bright, mismatched colours, whose very presence seemed to breathe joy into those around him.
  * The headstone seemed to trivialize McGregor’s life, his accomplishments; seemed to condense what had been a life of spreading love and happiness into just a couple of numbers.
  * _12 March, 1936 - 27 June, 1981._
  * That was all that was left of the man Minerva McGonagall still couldn’t help but love. 
  * “Minerva?” Dumbledore tried again.
  * All of a sudden it was too much, the world was spinning too fast and McGonagall was collapsing against Dumbledore, shoulders heaving with dry sobs. 
  * “I should have said yes! I should have-should’ve given up my magic an-and stayed with him,” she cried, hands covering her blotchy, red face as Albus tried to support her. “We would have been happy and I-I could have-”
  * “You _wouldn’t_ have been happy, Minerva,” Albus told her gently, running a calming hand down her shivering back. “You would have miserable trying to be someone else for him, trying to push down the most basal and instinctual part of yourself.” 
  * Driven incoherent with grief, Minerva could only shake her head and cry. There was an ache deep inside of her that seemed to be expanding, swallowing her whole, making her collapse in on herself, and she didn’t know what she could do to make it stop. 
  * “It’s okay to cry, Minerva. It is okay to _grieve,”_ Dumbledore said, apparating them both back to Minerva’s empty cottage and away from the site of her misery. “But do not let your pain be the end of you. You’re stronger than that, I _know_ you’re stronger than that.” 



 

  * Swallowing hard to wet her suddenly dry throat, McGonagall felt her lips pull up at the corners in an uncoordinated smile. The muscles in her entire body seemed to have gone into a frazzle at the sight of the beautiful woman in front of her. 
  * “Uh, you must be Miss Pomfrey,” she felt herself say as if from somewhere outside her body.
  * “Yes!” the other woman replied, wide, blue eyes wide and kind as she shook Minerva’s hand firmly. “But please call me Poppy, Pomfrey just reminds me of all the teasing I was put through in school,” she said jovially, never once letting go of the smile that seemed to come so easily to her. 
  * Minerva herself felt…out of practice. Sure, she did smile every time a student did something utterly idiotic like turning a beetle into a miniature dragon (the Prewett brothers did seem to have a certain flair for idiotic behaviour), but she didn’t make a habit out of being…happy. 
  * It had been years since the death of her first love, and then years still since the death of husband; but the pain had yet to recede. Sometimes, usually during lectures, she forgot about it, but beneath a layer of distracted calm, it was still there, the ache of loss. 
  * “So, um, should I show you to the infirmary?” Minerva asked, cursing herself for stuttering through her normally professional speech.
  * _Get it together, woman,_ Minerva thought to herself. _There’s no need to go all googly eyed over the first unfairly gorgeous woman you see._



 

  * But that was the problem. 
  * Poppy Pomfrey was so much more than a pretty face. 
  * Apparently McGonagall had a type, and that type was men or women with laugh lines etched permanently on their faces, redrawn every fifteen seconds with easy and kind smiles. 
  * Poppy was cheerful and treated children with love and care, but she was also fierce, the first to stand up to Dumbledore or anyone for that matter, if she believed them to be wrong. She was passionate about her work and was incredibly hardworking. 
  * _And Minerva McGongall was McGona_ gone. 



 

  * “If you simply approach her and ask her to go for a cup of coffee with you, you wouldn’t have to stare at her all the way from across the hall,” Albus said at dinner once, eyes twinkling in amusement when Minerva sputtered indignantly. 
  * “I don’t-How did you- _She’s a woman,”_ she stumbled, eyes wide and face an embarrassed scarlet. 
  * “And yet, you can’t help but have feelings for her,” Dumbledore said in his calm and matter-of-fact voice. “Because _feelings_ don’t care for another’s gender. They just care about what the person is like, and I think that’s beautiful. Don’t you?” 
  * “ _Albus,_ I-I can’t just.”
  * “You can,” Dumbledore said, taking a sip from his goblet and following McGonagall’s eyes to look at where Poppy was having an animated discussion with Professor Sprout at the other end of the teacher’s table. “And I think you’ll find that if you _do_ decide to show that Gryffindor courage of yours and approach her,” he said, watching Poppy catch Minerva’s eye and blush, “that she is also similarly inclined as you.” 
  * But Minerva wasn’t listening, too busy watching a pretty pink colour taint the dimpled cheeks of the other woman, and feeling her own heart attempting to beat right out of her chest. 



 

  * Dumbledore watched from the wide window behind his desk as the two figures walked out of the castle, heads leaning towards each other and mouths moving rapidly in discussion. 
  * Minerva seemed young again when she was with Poppy, like the bright, apple cheeked student who had wanted to change the education system at Hogwarts to make it more egalitarian and less like the widow who thought of herself as a bad omen.
  * He watched them walk around into the courtyard, watched Minerva throw her head back and laugh at something that Poppy had said, watched Poppy look at her with utter fondness and adoration, and, at last, watched Poppy lean forward and pull Minerva into a kiss. 
  * Averting his eyes from the young couple, Dumbledore smiled to himself. 
  * As long as there was love in the world, it would heal itself. 



I don’t know when it happened, but I really, really fell in love with the idea of a stern McGonagall turn into a stuttering doofus around the ferociously joyful Pomfrey and I have wanted to write about them ever since. I actually had to delete nearly one thousand words because I’d accidentally written an entire fic instead of this…bullet-point thingie. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> COMMENT AND KUDOS = :) please :)


	35. That One Time I Wrote Jily

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Prompt:** "Some Jily fluff when Lily's in the tolerance stage James absolutely showering Lily with lilies Lily trying to deny she likes him at all Then some kind of sappy kiss ending  <3"

I have _never_ written James and Lily as the protagonists, so forgive me if this is kind of OC. 

  * Lily hated fighting with Severus. 
  * It made every muscle in her body tense up, the corners of her mouth pull down for hours at end and a permanent seeming sadness settle in the bottom of her stomach. 
  * She was just patrolling the corridors, her usual authoritative gait slowed down by melancholy, thinking of cutting off things completely with her best friend. 
  * She had often thought of permanently severing all contact with Severus since he had started hanging out with the likes of Rabastan Lestrange and practicing dark magic. He denied it all the time, denied he had spelled Adrian Newman shut inside a closet for _two days,_ denied that he had brewed the amortentia that Mulciber had used against Mary McDonald. The benefit of doubt was the only thing keeping them friends despite all the accusations against him. 
  * Her thoughts were cut off when a deep, familiar voice sang, “ _Oh Evaaaans, you were sent from the heavenssss,”_ from behind her. 
  * Huffing out a short amused laugh, Lily turned around to face James, the muscles in her shoulders relaxing a little as she tried to force down the smile that was threatening to break out on her face. 
  * “What do you want, Potter?” she snapped, scowling instead. 
  * It must not be working very well because James just grinned wider, his unruly hair igniting the irrational need in her to run her hands through them, smooth them down. 
  * “What could I want now that I have your amazing, invigorating company, Evans,” James said, a shiteating grin taking up half his face, his dimples deciding to show up to the party too. 
  * It was not fair. James Potter was a douchebag half the time, but his stupid hair and his stupid dimples and his stupid flailing arms and lack of tact made Lily _weak at the knees._
  * So Lily did what she always did whenever she felt her resolve to Always Hate Potter and His Douchey Hair weakened; scoffed and walked away. 
  * But of course, James just walked followed her, walking backwards in front of her. “I have got to say, Evans, your lack of abusive words and threats against my life are really disheartening. I feel like I’ve crossed over into a parallel universe.” 
  * Allowing herself a small grin, Lily rolled her eyes. “Shouldn’t you be on the third floor? I do believe I gave you the schedule for today.” 
  * “Yeah, yeah,” James said dismissively. “I was just heading there when I saw you walking by, all pensive and shit. So I thought I’d lift your spirits with some good ol’ serenading.” 
  * “My spirits have been successfully lifted,” Lily deadpanned, her traitorous heart fluttering at his concern. 
  * “Good. Mission accomplished,” he said with a mock salute. “I will take my leave now, milady.” 
  * Lily rolled his eyes and James took a few steps away from her before stopping. 
  * “Hey Evans?” he asked and the sincerity in his voice was the only thing that made her turn around. “For real though, are you okay?” 
  * This time, Lily didn’t even try to hold back the smile that blossomed on her face. 
  * “For real, James, I am okay.”



 

  * There were lilies _everywhere._ They were on her bed, _around_ her bed, they were in her clothes, in her books and even in her _underwear._
  * Lily was going to have a hemorrhage. 
  * Marching down to the Great Hall where all the students were gathered for breakfast, Lily walked up to the end of the table where Potter and his gang of delinquents normally sat. 
  * “Ow, ow, ow, what the hell, Lily,” James complained when she grabbed him by the ear and _dragged_ him out of the Great Hall, ignoring Peter and Remus’ alarmed face and Sirius’ snickering. 
  * “What,” James bit down, rubbing his ear when Lily stopped walking, placing her hands on her hips. 
  * “Don’t you think you’re overdoing it a little bit?” she snapped. “And _really,_ James? _Lilies?_ I fucking _hate_ lilies, they’re cliché and look stupid.”
  * “You pulled me _by the fucking ear_ in front of _everyone_ because of _lilies?_ Are you shitting me right now?” James exclaimed, waving around those stupid noodle arms of his. 
  * “They were everywhere! They were in my _underwear,”_ she shouted and James’ eyes widened. “How the hell did you even get in the girls dormitory anyway, you fucking pervert?” 
  * James’ face flushed darker, his jaw tightening with repressed anger. “I don’t know who the fuck you take me for, but I am not some fucking _pervert_ who spends his time putting flowers in girls’ underwear drawer. I asked the house elves to put a bouquet on your bed with some chocolates because you’ve looked upset this entire week. There was obviously some miscommunication, but its okay. I’ll ask them to clean it out and I won’t do it again.”
  * With that, he walked away, leaving Lily drained of her anger and filled with guilt and shame. 



 

  * “Peter!” she shouted, running to catch up to him. “Hey, how are you?” 
  * “I’m good,” the short, blond haired boy smiled. “How are you? Are you feeling better now? James said you weren’t well.” 
  * Lily blushed with embarrassment, remembering how she had treated him. “Um, yeah, I’m better. I just. Well, you saw what happened in the Great Hall and I don’t know how much James told you of what happened but I basically treated him really badly and I wanted to apologise to him for how I behaved.”
  * Reaching inside her school bag, she pulled out a box of chocolates she had bought for herself from Hogsmeade and handed it to Peter. 
  * “Could you please tell him that I am sorry?” she asked, looking anywhere but at him. “And that it was incredibly nice of him to do so much for me. I didn’t know I mattered enough to him for that. So thank you, and I am sorry for being a jerk.” 
  * Peter looked at her through narrowed eyes for a while before leaning closer and whispering, “I don’t think he realises _how much_ you matter to him.”
  * Lily looked up in surprise. “What do you mean?”
  * “I mean, he’s constantly talking about you, he spends all his time thinking of pranks that will make you laugh even though you don’t want to. In fact, he sees it as a sort of personal achievement when he makes you laugh,” Peter said and shrugged. “Seems to me like this whole frenemy thing you both got going for yourself is a front for something else entirely.”
  * Lily blushed and sputtered. “You know what? This isn’t fair! He is an _asshole._ He makes me want to rip all my hair out, that’s how much he frustrates me! He made Maddy from Slytherin _cry_ with his stupid hair colour prank! And then-then he does something incredibly sweet and nice, like colour his own hair and run around in his underwear to make Maddy laugh and I just! I _cannot._ I just can’t, okay?”
  * Peter gave her a small smile. “Seems like someone else doesn’t realise what James means to them either,” he said and walked away. 



 

  * “ _Lilyyyyyyyy, you smell like imliiiiiiii,”_ a singsong voice called from behind her and Lily’s heart went berserk. 
  * Taking a large gulp of air and refusing to look at James when he sat next to her on the Astronomy Tower, she said, “Your songs are becoming weird, Potter.”
  * “Aw, c’mon, Lily Willy,” James said with a grin, gently bumping his shoulder against her. “You can’t send me _chocolates_ and then be mean to me again.” 
  * “Watch me,” Lily said, grinning too.
  * James laughed and for a while, they both just sat their in comfortable silence, watching the stars shine bright through the wispy clouds. 
  * For the first time since her fight with Severus a week ago, Lily felt normal, sane. Comfortable in her own skin. 
  * “I’m sorry about the lilies in your underwear,” James said after a while. “And for flipping out when you confronted me about it.”
  * “You didn’t flip out, I did,” Lily answered, placing her chin on top of her folded knees. “I’m sorry for shame-dragging you through the Great Hall.” 
  * “I guess our sorries cancel each other out, huh?” James said, smiling softly at her. “Guess we’re both forgiven.”
  * “Guess so,” she replied quietly, finally giving her fingers the leeway to run themselves through James’ undisciplined hair. 
  * She felt James tense a little against her palms, a shivering breath escaping him before he relaxed and smiled at her again. 
  * “That feels kinda nice,” he said, eyes drooping a bit. 
  * Lily just hums in response, loving the quiet silence stretching between them.



 

  * It becomes a pattern for them; driving each other to the brink of insanity and then going to the astronomy to vent, gentle touches assuring apologies and forgiveness. 
  * And they soon realise that there is no better way to apologise _or_ forgive than kissing each other dizzy. 



I’ve never headcanoned James being a crazy, stalkerish lover. I’ve always seen him as someone who constantly pesters Lily without knowing that he might be a little bit in love with her. And I’ve always headcanoned Lily as equally problematic and naughty, not a saint, definitely. So there. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> COMMENT AND KUDOS = I'll sing for you. I swear I'm a great singer *sweats nervously and profusely*


	36. neighbours au

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No one prompted me, but I wrote it anyway because no shame B)

****I know I have like, 8 prompts in my inbox but I was jamming real hard and...

  * It’s 4am when Sirius is rudely pulled into consciousness by weirdly familiar music playing in the apartment next to his. 
  * Groaning and rubbing his eyes, Sirius thumped his head against the headboard before placing a hand on the wall that separated his apartment from the other person’s.
  * Sirius didn’t know who his new neighbour was, just that they’d moved in three days ago and apparently liked floral a lot, if the couch, lampshade and cushions in the movers’ truck were any indication. 
  * “Are you fucking kidding me right now?” Sirius exclaimed, more amused than annoyed when he finally gained enough awareness to recognize the song. 
  * “[...Tell me why, ain’t nothing but a mistake, tell me why, I never wanna hear you say, I want it that way...](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4fndeDfaWCg)”
  * Pushing himself up so he could press closer to the wall, Sirius could almost hear someone else singing along, deep voice going up at certain lines before drowning into mumbles. 
  * Biting his lip in hesitation, Sirius thought, _fuck it._
  * Slipping on his slippers, he decided to drag himself out of bed and out of his apartment. 



 

  * Regretting it as soon as he knocked on the door, Sirius instantly contemplated running back into his apartment and hiding.
  * But before he could as much as take the next breath, the door to apartment number 17 was opening and Sirius was internally screaming. 
  * In the doorway stood the most amazing human being Sirius had ever seen. He had curly brown hair that spilled onto his face, wide eyes that looked like molten chocolate and an adorable little button nose. 
  * “Uhhhhh,” Sirius said articulately. 
  * “Um?” the other guy responded in equal eloquence. 
  * “So, um, it’s 4am and you obviously can’t sleep,” Sirius said, powering through even though he could feel his face turning red in embarrassment. 
  * The other guy’s eyes widened in surprise and he scratched the side of his long, biteable neck awkwardly. “Right! Fuck, I’m so sorry,” he said. “I completely overlooked how late it was and I’m sorry about the music. I’ll shut it down right-”
  * “Oh no,” Sirius hastened to  say. “I wasn’t here to complain about it. I live right next door and I thought, since I’m already awake, I might as well go and listen to horrible music with you.” 
  * “Excuse _you,”_ Curly said, mouth curling in a smile. “Backstreet Boys are legends and they wouldn’t have become legends if their music was horrible.” 
  * “Please don’t kid yourself,” Sirius answered with an easy grin. “NSYNC is obviously the superior band here.”
  * Curly rolled his eyes but opened the door wider for Sirius to enter. “I’m Remus, by the way,” he said, voice low and deep. “And I have wine, which I think we will be needing.” 
  * “I’m Sirius. And I’m going to Educate you.” 



 

  * “ _What?”_ Remus gasped, nearly spilling wine all over his precious couch in surprise. “You’ve _never_ heard a Blue song?”
  * “Nope,” Sirius replied, grinning. 
  * “How the hell are you even English?” Remus demanded, quickly picking up his phone where it was lying attached to the speakers. 
  * “Hey! I drink tea six times a day! Don’t question my Englishality!”
  * “That’s not even a word,” Remus said, the wine making him giggle. 
  * “It is. You know how I know? Because I’m _English.”_  



 

  * “Ready?” Remus asked, eyes wide with excitement and a little bit intoxication. 
  * “Ready,” Sirius answered, bouncing a little on the balls of his feet. 
  * “[ _I rest my_ case](https://youtu.be/RkWQDDv_qdg),” Remus sang, pointing at Sirius to continue. 
  * “ _So step back, cause you don’t know this cat,”_ Sirius rapped alongside the singer. “ _I know deep down that, you don’t want me to react. I lay_ low _, leaving all my objects open-”_
  * “My _options_ , not ‘ _objects_!” Remus interrupted, laughing hard. 
  * “Oh, come on!”
  * “From the top again!” Remus said for the fourth time that night, rewinding the song and grinning. 



 

  * “Thank you,” Remus whispered once sleepiness had settled over both of them and they were lying on the opposite ends of the couch, staring unblinkingly at each other while music played on in the background. 
  * “For what?” Sirius asked, squinting because of the light coming through the window behind Remus. 
  * “For tonight,” Remus answered, rubbing his face sleepily against the couch, making Sirius think of a cat. “I haven’t felt at home or comfortable here since I moved in. I think that changed tonight.” 
  * “Tomorning,” Sirius mumbled. 
  * “What?”
  * “I came here at 4 in the morning. So technically, it’s tomorning, not tonight,” Sirius said wisely. 
  * Remus burst out laughing at that, eyes tearing up when Sirius just looked adorably confused. “You’re drunk,” Remus explained to Sirius’ questioning look. 
  * Sirius grinned. “I really am...” 
  * They lapsed into silence, Sirius shutting his eyes sleepily while Remus just smiled and stared at Sirius’ long, dark hair curling slightly at the base of his neck. 
  * “Hey Sirius?” Remus asked when he heard the song turn to something slower. Sirius blinked his eyes open, raising a brow at Remus. “Do you want to dance with me? It’s NSYNC.” 
  * Sirius gave Remus a dazzling grin, sloppily getting to his feet. “Hell yes. That’s the good stuff.” 



 

  * “ _[...I'll be your strength, I'll give you hope, keeping your faith when it's gone...](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6thmPrTxBtI)”_
  * Sirius hummed where he had his face tucked into Remus’ neck, snuggling into the warmth of his body as they both moved to the slow beat, arms wrapped around each other. 
  * “You’re so fluffy,” he felt himself say dreamily as he ran his fingers through Remus’ curly hair. “So soft, so pure.”
  * Remus laughed, arms tightening around Sirius. “You’re beautiful.” 
  * Sirius flushed at that. “Ugh, you’re flustering me.” 
  * Remus didn’t say anything for a few minutes before pulling back slightly so he could look Sirius in the eye. 
  * Sirius felt his buzz lighten a bit when he saw the solemn look Remus was giving him. 
  * “I’m hoping this isn’t a once only deal?” Remus said hesitantly. “And that I get to fluster you more? On a more...regular basis?” 
  * Sirius grinned, pulling Remus back into his arms. “Of course, you dork,” he answered. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.” 
  * “ _...And I will take you in my arms, and hold you right where you belong, till' the day my life is through, this I promise you...”_



...this happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> COMMENT AND KUDOS = I run around singing Soulja boy tell em


	37. Black Bros 5ever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Prompt [but not really]:** "heyy can you recommend some good cheerup-marauder or wolfstar ff? Or post a new one of yours if you have one finished? I had a pretty serious fight with my brother and I've been crying for hours because right now it seems like we'll never talk to each other again. I really need some solace... :("
> 
> They didn't really ask for it, but I got feels and I wrote it so I thought I might as well post it :)

**Warning:** Implied child abuse. 

 **Note:** Sirius is fourteen here, while Regulus is twelve. 

  * Regulus felt devastated, there was no better word for it. 
  * Hands shaking and chest feeling tight with emotions that felt far too big for his body, he sneaked his way to his brother’s room, careful to make himself as silent as possible. If his Mother caught him out at this hour, especially out to meet _Sirius,_ she would have his hide. 
  * As he squeezed open the door of his brother’s room, his stomach clenched unpleasantly when he saw Sirius lying curled up on his bed, body shaking with sobs. 
  * “Sirius?” he whispered into the dark, taking a hesitant step towards the bed and hating himself for tearing up. He was there to comfort Sirius, not to make it about himself. 
  * Sirius’ sobs quieted down immediately to sniffles when he heard Regulus’ voice and Regulus could see his arms tightening around himself. 
  * “Sirius, are you...” He couldn’t finish his sentence. There was a ball lodged hotly in his throat and all he could do was inch towards his brother silently. 
  * Sirius went scarily still, his spine tensing and hands clenching into fists. 
  * Regulus stood there, clueless about what to do, for what felt like an eternity before Sirius spoke up, voice cold and unfamiliar. 
  * “Here for an after party, are you? Wasn’t enough for you to watch me be degraded at dinner, so you thought you’d come to see what’s left of me?” 
  * Regulus felt as if all breath had been punched out of him, body going cold and then numb in shock. He didn’t know, didn’t _understand_ why Sirius was saying that. Didn’t his brother realise what he meant to Regulus?
  * “Sirius...I-I’m your _brother,”_ he said helplessly, not knowing what else to say, how else to explain. 
  * Scoffing bitterly, Sirius pushed himself up so he could glare at Regulus, eyes eerily dead in the light of the moon. “Where was your brotherhood when she was saying all those horrid things about me? Where was your _concern_ when she-she _hurt me?”_ Sirius said, voice rising with every word. “She used a fucking _Unforgivable_ on me and you did _nothing!_ You stood there a-and _watched.”_ Sirius’ voice cracked at the last word, tears filling up his eyes again. 
  * Regulus hated how all life seemed to be pulled out of his brother with every sob, shoulders slumping and face going slack as tears rolled down his cheeks. 
  * “Sirius, I-I didn’t know what-”
  * “Get out,” Sirius interrupted, turning his back to Regulus again. “I don’t need you. Just stop acting like you give a shit and leave.” 
  * Throat tight and eyes hot, Regulus stood there, not knowing what to do, how to make it _better._
  * So he left.



 

  * Sirius felt horrible afterwards. 
  * Regulus wasn’t the one at fault here, he wasn’t the one who had driven him into the ground with a simple _crucio._ He was _twelve,_ he wasn’t meant to be the one protecting Sirius.
  * But on the days that followed, he didn’t know how to initiate a conversation with him, didn’t know how to apologize for what he’d said. He watched Regulus skirt around him, never close enough to bother Sirius, but never far enough to leave him alone with any of their family members. 
  * He hated this distance between them, one that hadn’t _ever_ existed between them. Regulus had always been there for him, so how did it matter if he didn’t know how to stand up for Sirius? A twelve year old shouldn’t have to know how to defend their bother against their psychotic parents. 
  * Finally, his ego crumbled to the ground when the house elves sent a feast up to Sirius’ room, his bed covered in platters full of his favourite food. 
  * Sighing, he went to Regulus’ room and gave his little brother an exasperated huff when Regulus schooled his face into the most innocent expression ever upon seeing Sirius. 
  * “What are you doing, Reg?” Sirius asked, fondness for Regulus peaking through in his tone. 
  * “Nothing! I swear I’ve done nothing-”
  * “So you weren’t the one who put a stack of vinyls outside my room? All my favourite _Muggle_ artists? You had nothing to do with the flowers on my side table? And definitely didn’t make the house elves send up all my favourite food to me?”
  * Regulus gulped, eyes nervous. “No?”
  * “Really,” Sirius said, unimpressed. 
  * Regulus let out a defeated sigh and slumped where he had been sitting on his bed. “Okay, fine, I did that. All of those. But I was just trying to make you feel better! I swear I wasn’t-”
  * “Thank you,” Sirius interrupted, giving Regulus a small smile. 
  * Regulus’ eyes widened in shock. “What...”
  * Chuckling, Sirius went to sit down next to Regulus, placing a comforting hand on his thigh. “I’m sorry for what I said that night. I was angry and in pain. I didn’t mean any of it. You don’t have to...do whatever it is you’re doing. I’m good now.”
  * “No, you were right,” Regulus said, eyes tearing up a little. “I should have-should’ve said something. I should have fought for you and I just-”
  * “No, Reg,” Sirius said gently. “It’s not your responsibility to protect me. You’re always there for me, and that’s enough.” 
  * “But I-”
  * “No,” Sirius said firmly, squeezing Regulus’ thigh. “If you say anything, all that’s going to do is make them target you. And I don’t want that. You’re my baby brother,” Sirius continued, grinning and ruffling Regulus’ neatly parted hair. “I don’t want them to hurt you.” 
  * “And I don’t want them to hurt you either,” Regulus said, furrowing his brows. 
  * Sirius shrugged. “They can’t hurt me as long as I know I’ve got you. And I’ll always have you, won’t I?”
  * Regulus grinned, knocking his shoulder into Sirius’. “You’ll never get rid of me.” 



 


	38. Remus is a Bad Boy but Sirius likes him anyway

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey. I love your work and You just reblogged this so I thought you might write a wolfstar with "You just caught me reading hardcore smut fan fiction during class and you’re wondering how I can read this with a blank face.” 

**Important note:** Kinda **nsfw**  so proceed with caution, but not at all explicit. *Casual suicidal language used in one dialogue, skip the text within bolded square brackets to skip it :) 

  * Sirius didn’t intend on snooping on his classmate, but when he accidentally glanced at Remus’ phone under the desk and the words “throbbing cock” caught his eye, he couldn’t just look _away._
  * Shocked that the seemingly innocent, angel faced boy could be reading _porn_ while their professor droned on about the difference between inductive and deductive arguments _,_ Sirius found himself quickly staring back at his friend’s phone in surprise. 
  * _…and he couldn’t suppress a shudder the next time Steve thrust into him. “Oh, fuck,” he groaned, arching his back. “Harder!”_
  * _“_ Ummmmmmmmm,” Sirius said, eyes wide as he waited for the bored looking Remus to look at him before continuing. “Just out of _dire_ curiosity, how the fuck are you so _calm_ and _cool_ when you’re reading porn in class? While surrounded by forty other students?”
  * He couldn’t help the edge of hysteria in his tone, but he felt weird and embarrassed, even though he definitely wasn’t the one who should be humiliated by the situation. 
  * Remus’ cheeks flushed and he quickly locked his phone, the screen dimming to blackness. “You’re not supposed to look at other people’s phones!” he whispered, eyes darting around to see if anyone else was paying attention to them, but thankfully most of the class seemed to be sleeping or on their way to a quick nap. 
  * “It wasn’t intentional! i was just!” Sirius said, flapping his hands around helplessly. “And don’t make this about me! You’re the one who should be answering questions right about now!”
  * “What questions?” Remus squeaked out, blush travelling down his neck and somewhere under the collar of his shirt. 
  * Sirius calmed down a little, now the the focus had shifted off him. That didn’t, however, mean that he had _any_ control over his tongue. “Do you have a boner?” he blurted out and Remus nearly choked on his tongue. 


  * “Do I-Are you-What-” Remus sputtered, mouth hanging open in shock. 
  * “Well?” Sirius asked. “Because that is disgusting. You’re in _class-”_
  * _“_ No _,_ I _don’t_ have a fucking boner, oh my god,” Remus gasped out, glaring at Sirius. “I’m not a fucking exhibitionist.”
  * “Then why are you reading porn in class?”
  * “Because it’s not _just_ porn!” Remus answered, ears too turning red. “It’s a fucking story about two men falling in love and now they’re having sex! Very badly written sex, so no, I don’t even feel a shred of arousal right now. Not that it would matter, because you would’ve killed every single bit of my arousal in a second!” 
  * “ _Excuse_ you?” Sirius said incredulously, forgetting all else. “Are you saying that I’m not sexy?” 
  * “What? I never said that!”
  * “Yes, you did! You literally just called me a boner killer!”
  * “No, I didn’t! Stop putting words in my mouth!” 
  * “I’m not putting _any_ words in your mouth! Those are _your_ words,” Sirius whisper-yelled through clenched teeth. “Your words that I am _taking_ out of your mouth!” 
  * There was a pause, and Remus blinked owlishly at Sirius in confusion.
  * “That’s a…very odd thing to say,” Remus said and Sirius felt his face heat up. 
  * “And now you’re calling me an idiot,” he drawled, glaring at Remus who was rolling his eyes now. “You’re such a charmer, Remus Lupin. No wonder you spend your free time reading porn in-”
  * Remus placed a hand on Sirius’ mouth, gentle enough that all Sirius needed to do was lean back a little to dislodge it. But the purpose of the action was met when it surprised Sirius enough to quiet down.
  * “I’m not calling you an idiot and I’m definitely not calling you unsexy,” Remus said quietly, the corner of his mouth tilting up a little. “You’re fucking beautiful and I can’t imagine any other situation other than _this_ one where you couldn’t successfully turn me on by just smiling at me. So yeah, stop putting words in my mouth.” 
  * Sirius stared for a second, trying to collect his thoughts enough to say, “Can I put other things in your mouth?”
  * Whatever cool Remus had managed to collect disappeared in a second, red blazing back on his cheeks as his eyes widened. “Okay, woah,” he mumbled. “You need to tone it like, _way_ down.”
  * *Sirius groaned and gently banged his head against his table. “I didn’t mean! I meant _food._ I was asking you out on a date and that didn’t come out right, fuck, forget it,” he said, packing his books up even though the class wasn’t ending for another half an hour. **[** “I’m just gonna go and drown myself. **]** Fuck. I’m so sorry. I don’t even-”
  * “Sit down, you drama queen,” Remus said with an eye roll, pulling on the sleeve of Sirius’ sweater till the other boy sat back down and looked at Remus. “I would _love_ to go out on a date with you,” he said with a smile, running a reassuring hand over Sirius’.
  * Biting his lip, suddenly feeling shy, Sirius smiled back. Just as he was about to speak, a cough interrupted him, followed by collective giggling by everyone in the class. 
  * “Perhaps you both would find that continuing this conversation after class would benefit not only you, but also those around you,” Professor Mcgonagall said, an amused spark in her eye. 
  * “Er, yes, professor,” Remus mumbled, ducking down in his seat a little.
  * As soon as McG turned back to the presentation, explaining the next point, Sirius felt another tug at the sleeve of his sweater. 
  * The next second, Remus was sliding his fingers in the spaces between his, and he could do nothing but helplessly grin.



Also, my writing is rusty, forgive me for that. Also, I am sorta out of it so don’t even ask me where this came from or what this is. Just go with it. Thank you <3


	39. Sit Down, Love

**Warning: This is basically just a suicide note so proceed with caution. Death isn't actually graphically described but it is implied.**

_The light in their dorm seems dull as it settles onto Remus’ bed, the covers tucked in, the blanket folded. When Sirius presses a hand against the sheets, they are cold, as if no one ever slept in them and he hates it, he hates it so much, he wants to run away. But he sits against the headboard instead, trying to force his thundering heart to calm down, his hands shaking as he tries to unfold the piece of parchment in his hands, the last remainder of the boy he loved._

Sirius,

Sit down, love. 

My dad killed himself when I was ten, and my mom blamed herself for the rest of her life; for not waking up sooner, before he shot himself, before I stumbled upon his lifeless body surrounded by a pool of red. So to begin with, I want you to stop. Don’t blame yourself. There was nothing you could do to save me from myself. There was nothing you could do to make me _feel_ any better. No one can breathe life into a dead body.

And I’ve always been a little dead.

For years after my dad’s death, I tried to find causes. I ripped apart every single memory I had of him and analyzed them, trying to find the moment that he stopped being happy, the moment he decided that taking a bullet through the throat would be better than taking another breath of air. I looked everywhere but I couldn’t find it. To me, he was happy every moment he was with me. I have no memory of his frowns or his displeasure. Even now, as I sit here trying to think of something, all I see are images of his smile, his nose wrinkling the way it did when he found something particularly funny.

Perhaps you will have the same problem. Perhaps, you will tear down every second I spent with you and try to find a sign that I was unhappy, and you too will fail, Sirius. Because every second that I spent with you was the happiest second of my life. You don’t even have to _do_ anything. All you do is _exist_ and I can’t help but smile.

So, why? ~~Why am I doing this?~~ Why have I done this?

There is no reason. There is no logic to my death. I didn’t sit around and plan all this for months, I didn’t chalk up all the details, didn’t create a list of reasons why I should live or reasons that I shouldn’t.

I woke up and it was 12:53 am.

And I decided to die.

Well, not instantaneously. I stared at the canopy of the bed for a while, thinking of all the horrible things that happen everyday and how there was a strange weight in the middle of my ribcage and if science could explain why it was so heavy. _Everything_ was just so _heavy,_ love. I thought about death and all the people who would mind my deadness. It didn’t really help, to be honest. All it did was make me realize how _tired_ I was of living to keep someone else happy.

It’s weird, breathing to keep a smile on someone’s face.

I feel so exhausted, Sirius.

I wake up everyday and contemplate the meaning; or rather, meaninglessness of life. I sit in bed for hours till the sun begins to rise too, wondering what the _point_ is. Because I genuinely don’t see it. And before I can do anything about this _profound sadness,_ you wake up. And you make me feel like it’s worth it to live just one more day at least.

So, I will be gone before you wake up this time. Because I am _tired_ of this constant, endless cycle of wanting to die but living instead.

I am watching you sleep. Breathing. In and out. In and out. In and out. In and out.

It’s so simple, isn’t it? So _meaningless?_ Keep inhaling and exhaling and you live. Put a gun to your throat and pull the trigger and you die.

You’re beautiful, even in your sleep. You make me want to do that thing, in and out, in and out, in and out, just so I can wake up again to your early morning kisses with that horrible morning breath. I am trying to give myself reasons to keep going, I swear I am trying. I am trying to tell myself that it will get better, that one day I would wake up without the urge to choke on air, that one day, the weight on my chest would shift.

But I am running out of excuses, Pads. I am running out of will power.  

I am talking too much, aren’t I? I’m sorry.

I just wanted to let you know that I am okay. Well, not okay now as I write this, but I will be. Soon, I will be okay. And I am not sure if I should talk about this but I want to reassure you that it was painless. I don’t want to lie around bleeding and twitching, waiting for death to descend. It’ll be over in a second and there will be no pain, just a flash of green light and then silence. If all goes to plan, you won’t stumble upon me in my ‘indisposed’ state either, because that shit is traumatizing. I’ve arranged it so that as soon as I am done, Madam Pomfrey will be alerted that something is wrong and she will collect me from the Shrieking Shack.

It seems oddly satisfying to know that I will reach my final liberation in a place that was a constant reminder of how caged I was in my own body.

I love you. You are the greatest thing that has ever happened to the human kind.

I just want you to be happy. I don’t want you to think about your family. I don’t want you to think about your insecurities, and I know you have many, despite your attempt to hide them. I don’t want you to think about me, or get hung up on me. Find love in a person who is whole.

Tell everyone I am sorry.

Tell James that he is a prat and he needs to comb his hair and that he was one of the few people who made me feel like I was worth loving.

Tell Peter that he will always be the cleverest marauder to me and that I loved him like my little brother and that he needs to cut down on his calorie intake.

Tell Professor McGonagall that I am so, _so_ sorry to disappoint her but I had to. _I had to._

I feel like I am stalling. I am going to go now.

Oh, and Sirius? Throw this away. Don’t keep this, don’t hold onto me. Let me go.

Love,   
Remus.

Ps – You have an essay due next week that you haven’t started and I will haunt all your asses if you let this stupid incident stop you all from passing the finals.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd completely forgotten about this one. I know it isn't the usual upbeat drabbles I post but...this means a lot to me. Hope you guys like it :)


	40. this some gay shit right here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Prompt:** "what about linny (ginny/luna)? you can honestly write it whichever way you want to but if you could write them as friends with sexual tension that would be fucking great. thank you xx"

I've always imagined Luna as ace and Ginny as demi so I don't think the sexual tension thing worked out, but here you go anyway :) 

  * Ginny watched, entranced, as sunlight danced through the golden strands of Luna’s hair, how it tiptoed through the curls and onto her face, lights and shadows playing in the curves of her face. 
  * Luna looked celestial, godly, other-worldly and a host of other words that meant beautiful in a surreal, larger than life kind of way.
  * She watched as Luna threw her head back, bare feet jumping slightly on the wet grass of the quidditch field and body undulating to the beat of the music Ginny was playing for her. 
  * The suddenly and abruptly changing music pulled Ginny out of her reverie, eyes going wide as The Weird Sisters’  _Party Chamber_ changed to something...a little too close to home. 
  * [_“Lord almighty, I feel my temperature rising...”_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zf2VYAtqRe0)
  * “Ooh,” Luna gasped, grinning as she shimmied closer to where Ginny was sitting cross-legged on the ground. “What song is that? I don’t think I’ve ever heard it before.”
  * “Uh, it’s muggle. By a bloke called Elvis Presley,” Ginny confessed, ears and cheeks burning up in humiliation as Presley sang about kisses lifting him higher. 
  * “It’s brilliant,” Luna said, hips swaying in a way that made Ginny’s throat and mouth feel parched. “Come on, then. Dance with me.”
  * “Uhhhhhhh-”
  * Not waiting for a response, Luna held out her hands to Ginny and pulled her up, wand still grasped in one hand as it played the song. Luna twirled closer till their was nothing but an inch of empty space between them, and Ginny felt lightheaded all of a sudden. 
  * “ _It’s coming closer, the flames are now licking my body...”_
  * Ginny gulped hard, trying to calm her rabbiting heart, and placed shaking hands on Luna’s hips in a show of Gryffindor courage. Luna grinned easily at that, throwing her arms around Ginny’s neck and pulling her closer still. 
  * Feeling the soft press of Luna’s body against her own was enough to send Ginny into overdrive. Her entire body felt like it was about to melt right off her bones and her stomach was a mess of muted excitement.
  * Ginny abruptly pushed away from her friend to prevent herself from doing something stupid like kissing Luna and did the world’s most awkward moonwalk away, combined with random peace signs and head bobbing. 
  * Instead of laughing at her like most would, Luna copied her moves, somehow managing to look ridiculous and adorable at the same time. 
  * Ginny was so done. 



 

  * "I wonder when I stopped envying beautiful girls and falling in love with them instead,” Ginny said introspectively, watching Hermione correct her potions essay. 
  * “First year,” Hermione said without looking up from the parchment spread out in front of her. 
  * “Huh?” she asked in confusion. She was pretty sure her first year had been spent deep in infatuation with Harry.
  * “Amanda from Slytherin,” Hermione stated simply. 
  * “Ahh,” Ginny said with a fond smile, remembering the dimpled girl who looked way too beautiful in her school robes. 
  * “So, now that you’ve actually admitted that you swing for literally everyone,” Hermione said, giving Ginny her homework back, “what are you going to do about that little crush you have on Luna?”
  * Ginny sighed in frustration, starfishing out on her bed. “Nothing,” she said. “I proper  _courted_ Harry, and look how that turned out.”
  * “Luna’s not Harry, though,” Hermione pointed out. 
  * That had Ginny grinning at the ceiling. “No, she’s not.” 



 

  * The next day found Ginny sweating profusely as she checked out her reflection in a spoon before she marched to the Ravenclaw table in the Great Hall with purpose.
  * Plopping down next to Luna, she gave her a grin that was probably a little too manic. “Hey, Luna,” she said. “How are you on this fine morning?”
  * “Not too good,” Luna replied with a smile. “I’m quite certain my dorm is invested with nargles because I can’t find half my books.”
  * Ginny sat up straighter in excitement. For once, things were working her way!
  * “Wow, that’s just perfect,” she said, pulling out a bottle of Nah-Nargles that had taken her a week to brew after diligently following every step in The Quibbler. “I made some Nah-Nargles for you.”
  * Luna’s eyes widened in surprise and happiness as she grabbed the bottle from Ginny. “You did? Oh, that is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me!”
  * Ginny’s whole face was burning with a pleased blush when Luna leaned forward to press a soothingly cold kiss to her cheek.
  * “Thank you so much,” Luna whispered, eyes on the tiny blue bottle in her hands and cheeks a beautiful rosy pink, completely oblivious to the fact that _Ginny’s soul had just transcended her mortal body._



 

  * “Ginny,” Luna said in that quiet voice that made every muscle unclench in Ginny’s body. She raised a pale hand to Ginny’s face, brushing away the hair itching her face. “You have beautiful eyes.” 
  * Ginny swallowed hard, breath stuttering at how close Luna was. “Y-Your eyes are much prettier than mine, though,” she choked out. 
  * Luna rolled her eyes, something she had definitely learnt from Ginny. “It’s not a competition,” she said. “You know what else I find really beautiful? Your name.  _Ginevra,”_ she pronounced carefully as if it was spell. “It’s a name befitting such a beautiful person.” 
  * “Uh,” Ginny replied eloquently but Luna just smiled. 
  * “So do we kiss now?” Luna asked innocently. 
  * Ginny choked on air once again, eyes wide in surprise and confusion. “Wh-aaat?” she drawled, voice scarily high pitched. “Wh-I mean-what do you-can you read minds? What is going on?” 
  * “Isn’t that what we’re supposed to do now?” Luna continued, raising her small hands to cup Ginny’s face. “You’ve been courting me and I’ve been courting you. Aren’t we supposed to kiss now that we’ve made our intentions clear and complimented each other?” 
  * “Kissing isn’t something you’re _supposed_ to do, Luna,” Ginny said, a little uncomfortable. No matter how much she longer to kiss Luna, she didn’t want to be kissed out of an obligation. “It’s something you feel like doing because you really lo- _like_ someone.” 
  * Luna’s grin just widened. “Well, I definitely love you. Do you love me too?”
  * This part was easy. Ginny had never been afraid of her feelings. 
  * She smiled, placing her hands on top of Luna’s. “Of course I do,” she replied. “I’ve loved you for quite a long time.” 
  * “So you want to kiss me too?” 
  * Ginny grinned, leaning forward to rub their noses together. “I’ve been wanting to kiss you for quite a long time.” 



Yes, I know, Nah-Nargles is lame af but I have a shit sense of humour and no ability to name things. We gon roll this way. 

**Author's Note:**

> COMMENT AND KUDOS = PUMPING MY SELF ESTEEM.


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